How can I help my partner establish meaningful friendships?

Question

He's a great guy - mid 30's successful, family man - but hopeless at maintaining friendships and nervous about establishing new ones. Typically he thinks people won't be interested in him. So he judges old friends from that perspective - doesn't keep in contact - and prevents new friendships by assuming the same. The thing is he IS awkward in some social situations. He's very intelligent, not prone to social pretences, but so desperate for friends thta it leaves him really quite depressed at times. Seems he's always been like this. He just doesn't know how to do the friends thing. I'm quite comfortable socially. But have toned down myself a little so he can't make comparisons or feel threatened....
Can anyone help?

Answer 1

Well, first, he needs to meet people with similar interests. Then, he needs to be able to open up a bit, and be relaxed. People don't want friends who are uptight or have hang ups or major confidence issues.
But the most important thing is, he has to put in the work, call the person, at least once a week, and just touch base, that way, both people get accustomed to talking to each other. This may take some extended time, but just do it, whether you feel like it or not. Just talk about normal things that are going on in your life.
Anything worth having, you're going to have to work for it. Good luck.