I met him during my divorce. He has been a great friend during the process. However, I am scared to move forward. I like how things are...I am not sure if I am just scared of the same problems as before (in the previous marriage). Should I give in or stand firm in not having a relationship? I do like him alot.
2007-02-27 10:50:28 · 11 answers · asked by DJ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
GO for it.
dont let your ex husband have this much power over you.
Dont you think that your ex is secretly happy in thinking that you will never date again?
HEll with him...
it is time to move on and start fresh!
what better choice than a man that stuck with you thru a bad time.
YOu are a strong woman. You made it thru a divorce. If this does not work out, you will be able to recover from this too...but if it does work out, it will be a very strong relationship because you were friends first.
2007-02-27 11:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by lisa s 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well after a divorce it is really common to be scared of the next relationship, because you think that the same things might happen. You have to remember that he is a friend and he is a different person then your ex. If he has been a true friend, then he will continue to take care of you and not hurt you. It is very hard to trust after something terrible has happened, but at one time or another you are going to have to, unless you want to end up alone. When you are ready, then your heart will tell you. Good luck
2007-02-27 11:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into anything. Almost anyone professional will advise that there should be no physical kind of relationship for at least one year after divorce. Some say it takes as long as three years to get to that point. If you have not received professional counseling yet, I advise you start. It is the best thing you can do. Remember there are many different processes emotionally that you will go through. They are all normal and you should allow yourself to work through them all. They can go from fear to anger to sorrow to grieving, ect..... once you have worked through the different stages of divorce then you will feel more comfortable in becoming involved with someone. If you move into something physical before your ready you will live to regret it.
2007-02-27 12:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly need friends especially during such a difficult time. And just because the divorce is now finalized, doesn't mean your difficult time has ended. I would be a little weary of jumping back into a serious romantic relationship. Your heart has been through a lot of turmoil lately, allow yourself time to heal. Keep this guy around as a friend and let him know that's what you really need right now.
here's to healing!
peace
2007-02-27 10:55:15 · answer #4 · answered by John 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I kind of did the same. I only dating 1 guy before my boyfriend now after a 10yr marriage. Sometimes I think I should of just stood dating. But my boyfriend now is great and a wonderful man. And if I would of let him go I would of been missing out. He would be with someone else and I could of missed my man. He has already ask me to marry him. I told him if where still dating in 2yrs I will. He got kind of mad but so what it's my life too. So I say go for it. This man might really make you happy in bring the women out in you. My boyfriend has. And I love him. My ex called in to tell me don't I think it's kind of soon for you to have a boyfriend. I told him he don't make me cry, he don't keep me waiting for hours, and wondering. So if you like him alot go for it.
2007-02-27 11:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that this has been tough on you and you would like to take things slow. If he doesn't understand then he's not the one you want to be in a relationship anyways. Take it slow. You gotta transition into being single again, and plus get over your feelings for your ex and come to terms with them. Good luck.
2007-02-27 10:56:01 · answer #6 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you are unsure then don't do it. you two are obviously at different places in your lives. he's looking for a serious relationship where as you are simply trying to make new friends. if he cannot agree on being just friends with you and you cannot agree on moving forward with this guy then you two should end the friendship. good for you for slowing things down.
2007-02-27 11:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with your instincts. If he's a great friend, he's going to be there no matter what.
2007-02-27 12:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, tell him you are not looking for a relationship.
2007-02-27 10:57:29 · answer #9 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHOA!!! SLOW DOWN!! He is wanting way too much, way too soon. Keep things the way they are, like you like them, or give him his walking papers....HIS choice!!
2007-02-27 11:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋