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I have stooped to the level of not being able to trust my own instincts.
So here I ask a most personal question to complete strangers... All I ask is that you be sincere and sensitive.

I love somebody, who is not my husband. My husband knows about him because I fell in love with this other person when I was thirteen. The problem is that I have found out I do not love my husband the same way... we have two kids together and I love him like a friend. This other person that I love has gotten married also. I am now 20, I will be leaving Pennsylvania for good in the near future... to Europe and later Australia.
I have not spoken to this person in two years now, but I have thought about him everyday. I want to tell him I love him, and simply that... no expectations... and tell him goodbye. I fear I will regret it forever if I do not. We where never meant to be, circumstances prevented, but I do believe that he once loved me.
Should I say goodbye, or will it just bring more pain?

2007-02-27 10:30:36 · 13 answers · asked by MARE 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

GUYS please answer too, how would you react???

2007-02-27 10:35:48 · update #1

13 answers

You should tell him whether it is email or phone if it would be easier but you need to tell him like you told us not that you expect anything but you wanted to tell him before you left and goodbye you never know he might feel the same in his marriage

2007-02-27 11:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by mommy of three 1 · 0 0

This can't be about the "other guy" right now. You need to see if you can feel 100% about your marriage. Is there anything your husband can do to bring you back mentally? If so, ask him to "help" you.

If you can't make it back back 100%, then you need to ask yourself "does my current husband want to live the rest of his life in a non-romantic marriage. Do I want to live my life this way?"

If the answer is no, then you need to set yourselves free, because remember, your kids will sense, in time (if not now) that this is the way a marriage is suppose to be and may repeat what you are doing.

It's very important that your children are in a healthy environment. What ever that is, you need to make it happen.

2007-02-27 18:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 0 0

Marriage is forever, you made a decision for the rest of your life and now you have to keep it no matter what. I think you need to forget about the other guy and love what you have, remember without your husband you would not have two unique children.

2007-02-27 18:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Two kids at 20, with a man you don't love...

I think you have bigger priorities than bringing up two-year-old feelings about someone who could have forgotten you even existed... Who wins if you try to enter his life? Him? His wife? Your husband? Your kids?

STAY OUT!!!

Go raise your kids... You are now the 3rd most important person in your life.

2007-02-27 18:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by fhl_devils 5 · 0 0

Forget him.
He's not the same person you knew then any more than YOU are the same. He has probably forgotten you...after all, he moved on, got married. There is no good purpose in stirring up old things like this--someone is bound to get hurt!
(like his wife or your husband, maybe?)

2007-02-27 18:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Let it go.. You love the old person. Not the person he is now. You are living in a fantasy world. .You have a husband and kids?? Let the guy go and raise your kids. Quit day dreaming.

2007-02-27 18:35:36 · answer #6 · answered by xjaz1 5 · 0 0

Hi.
Trust me it will be more pain full than cheating on your husband.
Forget him.
i don't want to go any deeper in your relation with your husband.
But I guess who waited for 7 years can wait for the near future!!
and trust me when you go to Europe(or any way a way from him).
you will be totally in love with your husband.

2007-02-27 18:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by Ricardo V 2 · 0 0

Send him a letter or an email telling him what you just told us and you just had to let him know before you could move on. Good luck

2007-02-27 18:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by dolphinnut798 2 · 0 0

No goodbyes! You're married. He's married. If you talk to him, it might start something you can't finish. Let sleeping dogs lie! Forget him!!

2007-02-27 18:43:58 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0 0

hes probaly in love with his wife so if ur never going to see him again i say dont tell him u love him but i do suggest saying good bye, and for u and ur husband u may just think u know to much about each other and thats got u bored so i think u should go away for a weekend with out ur kids and see wat u dont kno but if that doesnt work somethings were just not meant to be. but im 14 wat do i kno right....

2007-02-27 18:37:20 · answer #10 · answered by Brooke 1 · 0 0

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