how can a person who was in a marriage act like they never had a life or history with them?.......how can this person show no remorse for their actions nor guilt......?......i say was because we are now getting divorced.......he says hurtful things knowing damm well he broke my heart and shattered not only my life but our children of which we have 4......we were married 24 yrs.separated almost one now......he is with the girl he left me for..funny how she is only one yr older then our oldest who is 20.......how can he be so heartless as to inflict even more pain......can someone answer these questions so it makes some sort of sense to me..........thank you
2007-02-27 10:25:17 · 9 answers · asked by never m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry to hear about all that you are going through now. The only sensible way to keep your physical and mental health is to let go, it will not get better. You have your children and you have to take good care of yourself that was abused and to treat yourself with kindness. You have your life, after all! Even though you are looking for an explanation, I am afraid there is none for this behavior. BUT may be you just need some understanding and warm words of encouragement! Go to your friends, spend time with your children and parents, if they are around, treat yourself to something nice every day. Remember, you deserve to be safe, calm and healthy, and no one can take this away from you.
Good luck to you!
2007-02-27 10:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by 20082008 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i don't understand why a grown man thinks a little girl is the answer that will last but you sound like my ex/ I however upon moving out was dumped by the woman I was ready to rob banks for (that's just an expression) I mean I would have done anything she asked and in every case did but when I moved out I knew it was for my betterment and you too must think his leaving is for your betterment whether you see it now or not you will love again and you will thank him for this great chance he has given you to love even more perfectly than ever before. You see it is my belief that we all learn something from everyone we touch and are touched by, whether that includes marriages or just friendships. It gives us a chance to recollect on all those things we did wrong and be a better human by trying to fix all our faults so love is true and perfect for well as long as it lasts right?
2007-02-27 19:05:02 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband is in his second childhhood, playing with someone alot younger than he is. These type of love affairs never really last a long time once she gets tired of a "daddy" figure as this is really bad for her image and sooner or later, if she hasnt already, will cheat on him for someone younger. If he has money she will stay around til funds run short. But now since he has what he thinks he wants he will treat you like dirt but wait and see who he comes running to once his fairy teale romance falls apart. Men are notorious for this type of action under these circumstances, and are eeasily read because these guys always do the same thing once the younger girl leaves him and they always cant understand why the wife usually never takes them back. Men think they never do anything wrong and always act like little boys once discovered. They dont care who they hurt or how much pain they cause to get what they want, which includes wives and children. Wait til he finds out he cany carry on a grown up intelligent conversation with her or she takes him to a party and one of your kids happens to be there. Men are also shameless and seem to feel no guilt til it falls apart and then tons of lies and false excuses never end. What you do when he does return, and he will, its up to you what you want to do with him, but majority sue them for divorce and everything they are legally entitled and move on. Good luck
2007-02-27 18:44:34 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee sounds just like my ex
sorry to say there is no one answer
all you can do is pick yourself up and go it day by day
i was left with six kids not that he really help when he was around
went back to school-got a good job-bought a house-kids have families of their own now and doing great
its a long hard road and you will have many ups and downs but you can get through it
don't let him get to you even though it hurts it gets better as time goes on
bee good to yourself the problem is in him
NOT YOU
best of luck
2007-02-27 18:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by zachsgrammy1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds liek a real prize.
Be glad he's gone.
Move on with your life... be happy with yourself. He really didnt know what he had... he probably wont realize it till its WAY too late.
Here are some links on co-parenting... since yall are seperating, you may find them helpful.
I am also includign some local resource links... maybe you can get involved with a local support group.
When I was going through my divorce, my support group was the thing that helped me the most.
Good luck.
It sounds liek yuo are a better person than he... you dont deserve to hurt.
2007-02-27 18:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer Anne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to make sence of the situation. The thing is, it's over and it's time to move on. Don't talk to him and don't see him till court. Cut him off completely as possible. He might be trying to justify what he did by blaming you. Don't be bothered by his own guilt complex. Just stay away from him and let him be misserable on his own.
2007-02-27 20:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask how he can do it? It is easy for him, it is the young .....pu..y. Makes men do stupid things. It doesn't make it right or good. He is a piece of sh.. and he knows it. Have his children tell him what they think of him. That is way more torture than you. He probably resents you for all the years of marriage. He has remorse and let his kids sink that in to him.
2007-02-27 18:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by Patrick G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry of the pain you are going through. I know what that is like. You can't blame your husband. He is not the enemy. Satan is...he is determined to destroy families and marriages. My recommendation is to turn your life over to God and start standing for your marriage. He is the God of the impossible and the God of the restoration. There are websites that support standers if you are interested in joining. Email me for more info, if you are interested.
2007-02-27 18:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's is something that I will never understand if I live to be a 1000.....it's like they flip a switch....how do they do that and sleep at nite....my thoughts and prayers are with you...try not to let it destroy you....you have probably half your life left to live....the children need their mother and your grandchildren will need you.......and one day, you will fall in love again....good luck
2007-02-27 18:30:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋