I see you and my stomach tingles
I try my hardest to not look
But I can't help it
My thoughts are of you
and what could happen
When I dream youre there
Then the hope the someday
My dreams will come true
When I'm awake I know they wont
I know I'm making myslef miserable
But love or like
I can't choose
2007-02-27 09:46:09 · 9 answers · asked by miseryxlane 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Its not SUPPOSED to rhyme
2007-02-27 09:46:39 · update #1
I think that this poem is great. It has great intelectuality and integrety. And if this poem is based on your real life i think that u should go for it =P . Just a thought for u. But anyways u did a really good job on it
2007-02-27 09:50:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's incredible. You defenitely have a talent here, I can almost feel what you're feeling. It doesn't have to rhyme, it sounds great anyway. Sounds like your confused about someone and maybe their reactions towards you? Excellent. Very good. Write more sometime, I'd love to read them =)
2007-02-27 18:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by eye_liner.whoree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is what really happends. I like it. How old are you? You must have had some experiance with a person to write this poem.
2007-02-27 17:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by islandgrl2011 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm....It doesn't ryhme! Just Kidding. It's not bad. I like it. Kinda somber. Sounds like a love that can't be. Keep writing.
The Syko Ward
2007-02-27 17:51:25 · answer #4 · answered by The Syko Ward 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
overall i think its great, it really conveys the wonderful feeling of love. i know you said that it wasnt supposed to rhyme, but i think a little touch of rhyme would set it right off.
2007-02-27 17:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ithink it is fantastic.if plajery wasnt a crime i would take it as me oen[just kidding].ithink u should change the first part though,about the stomach.it might just be me,i just threw up,but it should be,''i see you and my stomach flys away with your eyes.''or something like that.
2007-02-27 17:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by freakytoad53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice
it show's so much feelig
then hit's back to reality
it felt like something dropped
2007-02-27 18:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by Inahzi13 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it... i can relate in the real life. :(
2007-02-27 17:51:08 · answer #8 · answered by nat b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice poem. ;)
2007-02-27 17:49:31 · answer #9 · answered by Zen禅Maiden :ジェダイ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋