Did you ever, even for one moment, regret having your kids or regret having them at the age that you did?

Question

If so, how did you cope with it?

Answer 1

YES!!! I had my daughter at 20. I didn't go to school, I had no career, I was tied down to the house because my (ex)husband was traveling all the time, I put off everything that was important to me until she was grown. Now she's 28 and I'm 48 and starting a career at this age is not easy. I love her to pieces, my granddaughter too, but if I could do it over again, I'd do it differently.

Answer 2

I wish I would have been older, I was 20 when I had my first and 23 when I had my 2nd. I was immature and made many mistakes. I tried to fix them when I realized the mistakes I had made. Children do not come with directions and parenting isn't easy and children need much attention and love, guidance, care more than many people are capable of giving. I do not regret having my children , but if I had it to do all over again, we all would have had a different life. Get help from anger management classes if that's the problem. Try to remember everyone needs help and that does not make anyone any less of a person. When things are stressful try not to take it out on them, go for a walk and never stop trying. Remember when you were young and how you were and what you did. If your parents abused you then you likely to abuse stop it in it's tracks. Remember one day you will have to give your child wings to go out on their own. I know from experience you can't guide them after their gone, and zooming in the wrong way they have to learn on their own. I love my kids, but you would think different if you ask my daughter right now because I'm on her about depending on herself and not thinking anyone owes her anything,

Answer 3

I have never regretted having kids. Although I always say being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done, it is also the most rewardinging.

I do, however, have mixed feelings about waiting until I was 31 to have our first and 35 to have our second. We were obviously better prepared emotionally and economically by waiting. But I sometimes wish that I were in better physical condition twenty years later--better able to keep up with them and participate in sports, etc., with them. I cope with my shortcomings by emphasizing my strengths. Because of my age (and I'm not that old--early 50's), I am taking them to concerts, movies, etc., I would not have been able to afford or might not have appreciated at a younger age.

Answer 4

I've never regretted having my children, but I certainly missed a lot of the freedoms you take for granted when you don't have them. My son & daughter-in-law had their first child at a very young age and they certainly have had to cope with a lot and have certainly realized that "the partying days are over".

How do you cope with it? I would say you have to allow yourself a break ever so often to be alone or to hang out with friends or something to get you out for awhile. By all means, don't blame the children as they are just here because you created them. And realize that they won't be young forever....this too shall pass.

Answer 5

this is a really hard question for me to answer because I feel so bad saying it don't get me wrong I love my daughter and wouldn't change that for the world.. but I got prgnant when I was 16 and there are alot of things I missed out on. I am now 22 and she is 4 and I feel like I matured way beyond my years while all my peers are out having the time of their lives going to parties and bars and being immature I am a hradworking mother with a fiance (her father) and we have been together for 7 yrs. and part of me wants to know what it is like to date other people and live a little go out and be irresponsible for once, and I am only 22 do I really want to be with this guy the rest of my life I feel I'm obligated to because of my daughter, i feel no other guy could klove her like her own father and we know so much about each other I don't want to start all over with someone else. it is a very complicated situation but there is one thing I am certain about I love my daughter and she is the best thing in my life and I don't want to say I would change anything because my past makes me who I am today but if I had a choice in the matter and was able to still have my daughter I wouldn't have become a mother at such a young age.

Answer 6

I wish I was older when I had the first and I wish I was younger when I had the 2nd baby. The first not really about age but about the father and the very bad genes that were passed on. So that's where the regret lies. If I was older, I would have chosen a different father for my first born. The second, she really loves me and wishes I was closer in age so I can be with her longer. She is only 6 and she really thinks/worries about it. I really want to be alive for her children. I am 41.

Answer 7

not at all. I wish sometimes that he had a different dad, but I never regret having my son or having him at barely 20 years old. I wish I already had more kids. He will be about 10 before he has any siblings, but this time I'm making sure to have the right guy to father the kiddos!!

Answer 8

No. I don't regret it. Sometimes I regret things that I didn't get to do. I'm 19. I got pregnant last year. Complete accident. I was on birth control and used a condom (that broke). I have two two month old boys. They are the light of my life. My beautiful boys are my life.

I do regret the things I didn't get to do. I didn't get to finish my degree. I didn't get to ____..... However, I wouldn't change what I did for a moment.

Answer 9

Actually no, I don't have regrets about my kids, I don't try to live in the "What if's" of life...the only thing I regret is losing my virginity at a young age and one failed marriage (my regret is marrying that bastard to begin with)

Answer 10

Yes,

I was married to a selfish ***** that first left me with the kids and then came back and took them when she needed her respectability back. Now they are grown to be selfish sluts just like mom f'n over a lot poor guys along the way.

How did I cope with it. I paid her a monthly reward.

Now I have two more with a new family, love them to death.

Your problem is you watch to much TV. Life is not about you, life is about families. Families require work. That is a good and honorable thing. Why do you think of regressing to acting like a selfish child -- because if you were not thinking of acting like a selfish child you would not be regretting the kids.