I know i made it sound like im some dumb person who likes to get abused and that i dont care about my son.....that is more then not true.I have 2 kids one of which aint his...shes 8 yrs old.I love my kids more then anything or anyone in this world.All i was trying to say is i did help him change for a long time.He was alcohol free and we were perfect.Well a year later he got to hanging around the same crowd and started all over again.I know its mainly the people he hangs around with and i know he can change....ive witnessed it.HE WOULD NEVER HURT OUR SON!!!I guess its just cause i was always taught that people can change..if they except god in thier lives.The real question is IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO CHANGE?I do love him that much that i would wait and stick by him but if its not worth wasting anymore years i just want to move on.
2007-02-27 08:39:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You hung around long enough to watch him change...he messed it up by changing back!
Don't risk your and your children's happiness by trying to change him again, 'cause, guess what: you know eventually he'll fall off again...tell him you love him, but you are not hanging aruond - he needs to leave, tell him to change without you having to go all through it, but alone, then come back!
2007-02-27 08:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by avechm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are not retarded or dump at all. You jsut have a very big and loving heart that is very forgiving to the point that it is not good for you. The best thing you can do for you and your child right now is to get out and away from the abusive situation. Yes people like this can change BUT it is very rare and usually does not happen. If he is serious he will go to counseling for his anger and abusive problem and he will want to get help for himself and not just to try and win you back. I suggest you stay away from him until he can prove to you that he truley has changed and does not have an anger problem anymore. This will take many years for him to do so. I feel you really should move on though and file for at least a legal seperation. Maybe then if he finds another woman someday he will truley change and not treat them the way that he has treated you. I wish you the best. Hugs to you today. You are right in one thing though the only way that most people truley change is if they let God do the changing in their hearts and lives.
2007-02-27 08:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is that you infatuated with this guy. I'm sorry people will not change if they do not want to regardless if they accept God in their lives or not. Sadly the church is sometimes full of them.
Unless he is willing to change and leave the crowd he hangs around with. He will not change and you will be stuck in a relationship where you are putting 100% and not getting anything in return.
Good luck
2007-02-27 09:22:22 · answer #3 · answered by hayde_kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible for him to change, but HE must want it more than anything.You can not change him and you are not responsible to change him.
If he's an alcoholic/addict it will always be an issue.He may get sober for a time and go back - most do. He may never intend to hurt anyone but his alcoholism will change who he is and his behavior will be unpredictable.
Kids don't need drunks as a role model or around as a parent.They can't understand the behavior and it is insane to subject them to it.
Even sober he may have huge issues to deal with,
If you need free support go to an Alanon meeting.
2007-02-27 08:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can change..but only if they really want to. If he went back to hanging with the same old crowd it doesn't sound like he really wants to. Change is not overnight or instantaneous. It takes a long time and lots of effort. He has to want it more than anything or it won't work. Good luck.
2007-02-27 08:45:52 · answer #5 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I also believe it is possible for a person to change. And while your man did change for awhile, he wasn't strong enough to stick to it. You need to talk to him and make him understand that this is it. One chance. He needs to quit drinking and stop hanging around those people because he can't say no. If he refuses, you need to walk. If not for your children than for yourself. If he's relapsed than don't waste any more time on him.
2007-02-27 08:59:29 · answer #6 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely there are females who act like that and girls who dont and because I dont act like that im in basic terms going to wager that theyre extremely excited and dont question me why they get that excite, you reported you lady buddy does it top? Ask her. additionally youre no longer generalizing you're certainly pressing each and every (key be conscious) women persons into that categorie as your question wasnt "why perform a little women persons.." or "in many circumstances why do women persons.." which may well be leaving you area to generalize. I wouldnt call you a sexist pig because of fact thats no longer what it extremely is, this heavily in basic terms sounds like an entire blown out hate in direction of women persons, I propose if its no longer then in line with danger you jusy want a distinctive lady buddy or something dude i dont comprehend.
2016-11-26 19:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not dumb. He did change for the worst. Places change ppeople don't so It's your call no one should be abused if physical Dial 911 an he will be in jail.BE safe
2007-02-27 08:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you can never change a man, or anyone for that matter. They have to want to change. You can only help yourself by leaving.
2007-02-27 08:42:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, Tiffany, you're not dumb or anything else. But, he's not going to change.
2007-02-27 08:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋