what if when you were younger you were head over heels in love with someone and then ended up losing contact with them because they moved across the country....then years later you have a family and kids and then one day you end up finding this guy and start talking to them....they still live across the country but after a couple months you and he are back to the way things used to be...your feelings start developing again and you find yourself turning to him in an major time of need and he is there for you more then anyone else...during conversations he admits that he had the same feelings for you years ago and wishes hed have acted upon them...he is recently divorced and you are in a reaaaalllly rocky relationship...there seems like there is hope for him returning for at least a visit....shoud you tell him how you have been feeling or should you keep it to yourself to protect yourself from being hurt again?is it okay to trust another man when you have only gotten hurt by them?
2007-02-27 08:30:29 · 19 answers · asked by satine30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Follow your heart. What is it saying to you? Only you can truly know the answer to that. What are your options and how will it affect your life and family. Search deep and do what is best for you first and remember to involve your kids. There are many relationships out there have gone through the same thing and the couples separated while still maintaining a father mother relationship with the kids. If you and your husband agree that you are better off separated then you agreed on something. If your relationship is affecting the kids then seriously discuss this with your husband and if you both don't want to work it out then the decision becomes less complicated.
Good Luck and your not alone, you share the same fate as thousands of other couples.
2007-02-27 08:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by SuperDave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely take some responsibility here for your own actions. You are in a relationship - you have a family and kids and I think it's really easy to let things get out of control here. But if you take this guy from the past out of the picture and use all of that energy to concentrate on whatever is wrong in your relationship you've already committed yourself to, you could probably find so much more pride in yourself for at least giving that your best shot. Lust can and has broken so many homes. So if you want to go backwards in your life, at least give the ones who've loved you so much for so long a fighting chance before you throw it all away. You already know the answer to this question deep down inside. And I think a lot of people have been caught up in situations like this before, including myself. Life is all about choices and you have to realize that the choices you make affect more than just yourself - so balance the outcome of your decisions with how it will ultimately play out with everyone involved. Good luck!!!
2007-02-27 16:45:30 · answer #2 · answered by Shirley T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship gets rocky when there is a third person in the picture. If you are looking to dump the guy you are with then do it for the right reason. This other guy is across the country, of course he is wonderful you think of the good times he says wonderful things to you and the guy you are with is in a pair of sweat pants scratching himself on the couch. I would take it for what it is and say nothing, right now he is a fantasy and if he was so great he would not be divorced because no woman divorces a wonderful good man.
2007-02-27 16:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to trust someone who had hurt you in the past - as long as you are ready to be hurt again. There was a reason why your relationship with this guy didn't work out; what makes you think it's going to be different this time? You know what they say about stepping on the same rake twice... Figure it out.
2007-02-27 16:37:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is like a chance. Just be careful not to look for things to not trust. Things might just work out, just be positive and don't concentrate on what hurt you before because this guy has been honest with you so far and things could be great.
2007-02-27 16:40:02 · answer #5 · answered by Kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids change everything. They depend on you for everything, they need trust and comfort and safety. You should stand tall and protect them and make sure they are cared for. A woman who would throw the safety and security of their kids away so she can track down an old flame is someone the old flame won't respect much when it comes to commitment time anyway.
2007-02-27 16:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by Paul 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look at it this way, what;s the point for telling him how u feel if he lives across the country, what's going to happene, absolutely nothing, he would go back where he lives and you will go back to your life however it might be harder for you two to talk the same way as you do now and i am pretty sure u don't wan tto loose a friend.
2007-02-27 16:36:50 · answer #7 · answered by Loco 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you're looking for but strongly advise you to not go there. If nothing else, think of the lousy situation you will put your kids through. What if this were your husbands love ... would you want him to tell the woman how he feels?
2007-02-27 16:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to your family to try to make your marriage work before concerning yourself with feelings for another man. If you earnestly try to make your marriage a success and it does not work out, then after you seperate/divorce, think about this guy. Until then stay away from him.
2007-02-27 16:36:12 · answer #9 · answered by swanser 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You don't share your biz about your marriage with anyone but your husband, and a counsellor, should you see one. You need to stop being in contact with this "old" friend -it's really dangerous to you and your family.
You owe it to your husband and family to WORK really hard at putting your heart and soul into your marriage and home. Smarten up...
2007-02-27 16:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋