My friend is 22, she is the mother of a 1-year-old son, and her husband immediately began dating other women just days after the decision to divorce was made. She is filled with anger, confusion, and sadness, and I wish I had the words to help her through this.
2007-02-27 08:17:36 · 13 answers · asked by EnglishRose21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be there for her.
When she needs someone to call 3:00 in the morning, sit up and answer the phone and just listen to her rant!
That's the best thing you can possibly do right now. Maybe offer to babysit if she wants to go to the mall by herself for some "Me time" or something. Or, go with her. Have fun. Try to take her mind off of the divorce situation!
Really, being there and being encouraging is best possible thing you can do for her right now. She's going through a really stressful time!
But you are a good friend for even trying to find ways to cheer her up. Hope this helped and wish ya the best. Wish I had a friend like you! ♥
2007-02-27 08:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you say doesn't matter as much as you being there and supporting her. As someone who went through it, I found the most helpful people to be those who didn't let me wallow or sit around and b*tch. Of course a girls night with a bottle of wine and some "let's dish about all the secrets we promised we'd keep" can be fun, don't do too much. Make sure it's really over or this stuff can come back to haunt you! Get her out and doing things that you enjoy together (shopping, ice skating, anything). Staying in, cooking together and watching a movie (be careful of the choice) is a great bonding experience. Since she has a young one (mine was 14 months) doing something that can involve the baby (indoor play areas are all the rage now) if always appreciated!
All that matters is that you are there for her. Oh! And a sitter just so she can go grocery shopping with out it being an ordeal is HUGE when you are on your own. GIve her a hug for all of us who have been there and let her know that it is corny but life will get better.
2007-02-27 08:26:48 · answer #2 · answered by tracy042972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was probably seeing these others way before the decision for the divorce was decided upon. yes she will be angry, these are all normal emotions when we are hurt. just be there for her, let her talk. get some books at the library on this, as sometimes when we are going through this kind of grief we just have no idea. it will take some time, she needs to see this man for who he is, not who she thought he was. anger is good, confusion and sadness is normal. there may be a self help group in your city, where others go for help when these bad things happen and that would really help her. get her some books dealing with this at your local library. go to Dr. Phil on the net also. she needs to realize that he was probably already cheating on her way before they spit up, so he already had someone to go to. she needs to know this isn't her fault, she just picked the wrong man to marry. good luck
2007-02-27 08:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really are no magic words or cure all for what she is going through. Just be a supportive and listening ear and best friend you can be to her through this time. She will probably also need counseling and help to get past the pain of all of this as well. I wish you the best in being theref or her and i hope things start to get better for her soon.
2007-02-27 08:24:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are her friend, you know her well enough to choose what will help the most. Is she religious? Pray with her. Is she overwhelmed with caring for the baby? Offer to babysit for a day. Does she want to rant and complain about her rotten husband? Listen and agree. Does she want company in silence? Sit quietly with her. Is the baby the joy of her life? Dote on him with her, bring him presents, take the two of them to the playground or the zoo. You will do the right thing.
2007-02-27 08:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you can do for her is listen, listen, listen. No need to offer solutions or tell her what to do becuz she'll eventually realize the answers must come from her.
She will go thru phases. If she needs to talk sh*t about her ex....let her speak whatever is on her mind. Try to stay neutral. Offer your shoulder, hugs, kleenex boxes, and the best listening skills you have. Perhaps after awhile, line up a sitter for her baby and the two of you go out.
2007-02-27 08:29:44 · answer #6 · answered by Janet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If divorce = anger, confusion, & sadness, then she shouldn't be getting divorced. Tell her divorcing her son's father would be cruel, and she should stay married. Tell her to improve her marriage by improving herself, to decrease fights by stopping fighting, to create love by demonstrating love to her husband. Because she is not following what she promised to do (remain together until death), of course she is unhappy.
2007-02-27 08:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is a little off the wall here, throw her a little divorce party. I know it's a tough time for her, but maybe this would get a laugh or two.
2007-02-27 08:27:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her what you told us and let her know that you can offer a shoulder to cry on when she needs and that you are there as a sounding board if she needs to get stuff off her chest.
2007-02-27 08:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there as a friend and help her thought this very rough time, in any way you can.
2007-02-27 08:26:37 · answer #10 · answered by opyankees_06 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋