I am an educated woman and know all of the benefits of breastfeading, but why do I need to hang my head in shame because I gave my son formula after trying to nurse for only 2 weeks? I did talk to the LaLeche people, I did research, I did go to classes, and the bottom line is it wasn't for me or my baby. He is right on target, not overweight, and has had no allergies or ear infections. He even was on Soy based formula and switched to Whole Cows milk cold-turkey with no problem at one years old. So...why do I have to feel like I have a stamp on my head that reads "Beware! Bottle Mom!"??
2007-02-27 08:14:29 · 19 answers · asked by Mama Ro 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
dont listen to those things, just do what you feel needs to be done, he seems to be making good progress, as long as he's being taken care of by a loving family and getting the proper things done, your doing your job...he's getting fed right?
2007-02-27 08:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by Alanna Y 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I breastfed all 3 of my kids but I never looked down on a bottle feeding mom other then the ones that you see walking thru walmart with the baby in a carseat with a blanket holding the bottle up and formula running all down the babies face! Then I have a problem don't be lazy hold your baby and feed him or her! Other then that screw what anyone else says about you not breastfeeding it's not for everyone. I nursed my son until he was 2 years old you have some that nurse and even they think that is crazy it's a lose lose battle hun and don't let anyone make you feel like less of a mother b/c of a personal choice!
2007-02-27 08:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by SexyMamaTo3 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has different opinions. Do what you feel is right. If you child is fine then that's all that matters. Don't beat yourself up over it. This is just the first in a long list of things you will choose for your child that will make you feel like you've got a stamp on your forehead. Sounds like you did the research and made a choice that was right for you and your baby. IT'S OK to do something for your child that someone else may not agree with. It only becomes another persons problem if your child is being abused.
2007-02-27 08:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by Honestly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well breastfeeding is the best thing.....but there is no shame in bottle feeding. Maybe next time you should give it a little more time, 2 weeks is pretty soon to give up on it........I found breastfeeding very difficult in the beginning, but once my baby and I both got the hang of it it became the best thing EVER. Simple, fast, easy.........but the truth is its just not for everyone so dont feel bad.......maybe if you have another baby you can try again
2007-02-27 08:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mandy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the others, if you made an informed decision and you're happy with it, great!
I don't think its good to hold guilt about past choices and to let that effect you when giving advice to other moms. Tell them breastfeeding was hard for you, and tell them to be prepared for it to be hard, but don't discourage the better choice because of your own personal guilt.
The bottom line is that breastmilk is better than formula. Period. Its not just anti-bodies. There are, litterally, over 100 reasons breastfeeding is supperior. Every mom should be aware of this stuff going in and encouraged to seek out help.
I have friends who formula feed and I don't think any less of them for it. They gave it a try and werent informed enough or didn't have enough support at the time. Some had to go back to work, and i can totally see the need there.
For me, I can't understand a mom who just plain out choses to use formula because she doesn't want her boobs to sag, or because she wants to go out a get sloshed all the time. That is just plain selfish to me.
There is alot of misinformation about breastfeeding in our society and it effects alot of moms and babies. My personal goal is to get as much correct information out as possible.
Oh, and i was formula fed, and yes i'm fine.
The more I know about digestion and nutrition though, the more problems i see that are probably related to my not being breastfed (allergies, digestion issues... etc... )
2007-02-27 08:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy to David 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You know whats funny? You feel that way and breastfeeding moms feel the same. Even though it is encouraged for women to exclusively breastfeed their babies, try doing it in public. No one thinks twice to insult a woman giving a baby a bottle on a park bench or in a crowded mall/restaurant. A breastfeeding mom will get at least one rude glance, two disgusted looks and one comment (either direct or overheard) about that needing to be done in private. So whenever you are feeling like people are looking down at you, remember that we (breastfeeding moms) get it too and just feel proud that you are providing for your child.
2007-02-27 08:44:30 · answer #6 · answered by Mom23 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
you know what who cares, I nursed my first baby till she was 6 months and my second one I could only nurse for a month. I still feel a little guilty, but I was not producing enought milk and it did not matter what I did. Formula now a days is almost as good as breastmilk. Besides when I was a baby hardly anyone was breast fed and we are all fine. Just continue to be a great Mom and don't worry about what other people think.
2007-02-27 08:20:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think moms, especially first time moms are too concerned with this sort of thing. In 10 yrs who is going to care if your kids was breast or bottle fed? My first child refused to nurse, my 2 boys nursed right away. All 3 are healthy and happy. Don't worry about it, you did what every good mom does and that is figuring out what is best for your child.
2007-02-27 08:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't hang your head in shame, I don't think anyone wants you to do that. In fact from what I can see (and personally experience), the mainstream still thinks bottle feeding is the norm and breastfeeding is something flaky hippies do.
But don't expect us in the know to pretend that you have made the best decision for your baby.
The big question here is why wasn't it for you or your baby? Are you saying he didn't like it?!
You need to understand that now, after a few generations of people being given messed up info by messed up doctors and after years of breastfeeding Mothers hanging their heads in shame (which they still do, by the way, because of people's hang ups) women are finally taking control of their bodies and their babies and giving them the food that was made for them through the breast which is made for feeding our babies.
We want to make the best decisions for our babies, and that is breastfeeding. I think you want us to validate your decision, to say, it's okay that you chose formula over breastmilk, formula's just as good. But unless there is some medical reason why you can't (eg. baby has cleft palate, or you have no milk), then how can we not feel a little bit uncomfortable when we know a woman has chosen to give her baby artificial milk and deny her baby what nature creates for him? Not to mention the bonding, psychological benefits and so on. To many of us, it signals that a woman is giving into social pressures that say bottle feeding it what you do, breastfeeding is weird.
Some women who can't breastfeed would LOVE to be able to breastfeed, and they understand the benefits so much that they go through all kinds of stress to try to make it work, even using a supplemental nursing system (where the baby is at the breast but milk--formula or milk bank milk--comes through a tiny tube). It is hard to understand why someone who has breastmilk would choose not to give it to her baby. Sorry.
We want the best for ALL babies! I am sure your baby is happy and healthy. And it's not fair for people to judge, since we don't know the reason why a Mother is giving her baby a bottle. But if we do know you chose to do this, we might be confused and wonder why.
To me, it's the same as when someone chooses to circumsize their baby boy. We know now this is an unecessary and cruel procedure, so sometimes it's hard for us (empowered with this knowledge and no longer duped by stupid "science") to hold our tongues when we hear that parents choose to put their tiny baby through that.
As long as you can live with it, then that's the main thing. People have their issues with all kinds of things. You are going to have to face that some people are such advocates for the well-being of babies that they find it hard to understand why people don't give their babies the best if they can, which is breastmilk.
2007-02-27 08:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by kammie42001 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Congratulations on a healthy baby.
Breastfeeding is the biological norm and is always right for babies. Formula feeding can fill in when breastmilk is not available, but it's not simply an alternative. Many ppl do well after having been formula fed, but no one can point to a healthy person and say, "See, breastfeeding doesn't matter." The statistics speak for themselves.
As a parent, you have to decide what is best. Then you have to make peace w/ your decisions. Only you can beat yourself up for a decision.
2007-02-27 08:25:33 · answer #10 · answered by Kari 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Everyone is different! Breastfeeding doesn't work for all women so it's not a bad thing! A lot of moms bottlefeed... and hey, at least you tried to breastfeed first!
All that matters is that your baby is happy and healthy and it works for both of you. Who cares what other people think? People can be so judgemental.
It's wonderful that you tried to breastfeed first, but you found out it wasn't for you... now you bottlefeed your baby and that doesn't make you a bad person. Your baby is still getting the nutrition that it needs! There are a lot of advantages to breastfeeding, but if it didn't work, don't stress it. Your baby will grow just the same :)
2007-02-27 08:20:14 · answer #11 · answered by Danielle M 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋