I was with my babys father for 7 yrs.For the past few months hes been doing really stupid stuff.This last thing did it for me though.He busted all my house windows cuz i was leaving him.I went through 7 yrs of abuse.I know hes a good man cuz ive seen his good side plenty of times.He just has an alcohol issue.I still love him but i need to show him im not his bi**h.So im putting him in jail.Hes ganna do a while maybe years....so if i send him to jail and then see if it changes him,and take him back when he gets out....is that just retarded of me to think?e knows hes goin to jail cuz of me and he doesnt hold it against me cuz he knows hes a fu** up......i dont know, i love him but im so confused.
2007-02-27 08:11:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Love has a way of blinding us. I am not one to judge especially someone i don't know. However, an abusive alcoholic isn't My idea of a good man. You are no punching bag and at some point you have to stand up for yourself. Remember that a person will get the treatment they allow and you have enabled him for 7 years. Take back your power! It's his turn to be the B****!
2007-02-27 08:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Undisputed Diva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's going to settle down in jail, then come home and thank you for sending him there. You obviously don't care about yourself and think you still love him, but what about your child? You really want your baby growing up with an alcoholic who smashes up the home? You have two real choices. 1) Leave him permanently and move away with your child, or 2) Stay with him and let your child be adopted by people who will make responsible parents and put the child first
2007-02-27 16:23:35 · answer #2 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, women that are in or have been in abusive relationships are in serious need of counseling. For whatever reason you chose to stay in that relationship, your out, so stay out. Get yourself into some counseling, so you can find out who you are, why you stayed in that relationship for so long, and to re-build your self-esteem (of which you have none). If he is a alcoholic it wouldn't hurt for you to join Alanon either. Stay away from him.
I don't know what kind of advise your looking for because by the sound of your question you are planning on going back to him after he serves his jail time. If you can't think of yourself and what this relationship will do to you, then think about your child. Because if you think for one minute a volital relationship will not effect your child you are sadly mistaken. If you can't save yourself then save your child. Read the paper and watch the news, women and children die everyday from relationships like you are describing.
2007-02-27 16:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy_cruzir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm you think jail will make him better? hahahaha fat chance sweet heart, you need to right him off completely until he can PROVE to you that he is changed and that won't happen until a year or so after he gets out. By being in jail he will kind of loose his grip on reality, it will take him a while to get that back, if at all to being a productive member of society, you have better things to do then wait around for someone to grow up, sweetie just loose him all together!
2007-02-27 16:18:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its certainly optimistic of you, but I wouldn't consider it "retarded" because that would imply that you're mentally incapable. You're not that, you're just in need of emotional support.
The sad truth of it is, an abuser is going to remain an abuser unless he gets a LOT of therapy...and sometimes that doesn't even help. Chances are he will never change. And he as to WANT to change....which doesn't sound like he's going to. Furthermore, he's probably going to blame you for ruining his life, when in reality its him that's done the deed.
Just remember that there are better situations out there and you do NOT have to tolerate this sort of trouble. And think about your child. If he hits you, he's going to probably end up hitting that kid someday. Do you want that? And even if he doesn't hit YOU, he's still abusive, and your baby does not need to see that. Kids learn by what they see. Is this what you want your kid to learn? I doubt it.
Move on.
2007-02-27 16:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u watch prison break? this guy named t-bag was in love with this lady who had kids... and she saw him on the americas most wanted and called the police. after he was arrested he swore he was going to come back and kill the family... after he escaped he kidnapped the family but left them alone because he loved her and ran off. he was very crazy tho... being in an abusive relationship is never a good thing, especailly if he has temper management issues. maybe you should talk to him about going to an AA meeting. do you really want your baby to be raised in an eviornment like that? a dad who went to jail and is abusive towards his babys mom...
2007-02-27 16:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by japzkyootipie 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What fun. Yes, I am sure it is just a merry go round retard thing.
2007-02-27 16:15:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. you're confused. He's a loser, and you need to get some self esteem and be done with him.
2007-02-27 16:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by Christopher A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drop him. Do it for your baby
2007-02-27 16:17:48 · answer #9 · answered by Marcy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well one comment think about this you put up with it you deserve it call it like i see it
2007-02-27 16:14:55 · answer #10 · answered by poohbear27 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋