My husband says he is not happy with our sex life?

Question

He recently told me that he is not happy with our sex life. He wants to do things that I find degrading. I guess my question is, would you do things for your spouse that you don't want to just to keep them happy? Sorry if this is too much info, but he wants me to swallow and do facials.

Answer 1

its always advisable to spice things up to keep the spark going, but at the same time both should respect each others wishes. If your are not comfortable with doing something then he should respect your decision and not make it an issue. One way to avoid the situation is to agree to try it once and tell him if you don't like it you will not do it again.

Like I said try things once with the option of not doing it again if you either of you don't want too.

Your husband is watching too much porn, tell him there is a difference between a wife and a porn star, she get paid for it. Good luck

Answer 2

First off, you shouldn't do anything that you feel is degrading. However, I would like to throw out there that those activities are not, in and of themselves, necessarily degrading. It's all about attitude. If he's saying his happiness with your sex life is dependent on whether or not you're into swallowing and facials - well, is it possible that it's the attitude he displays that makes certain things feel degrading to you? Experimentation and trying new things with your spouse is supposed to be fun, not something you're pressured into with the caveat of "otherwise sex with you isn't good enough."

Answer 3

I don't swallow. Out of the question. Made me throw up once! LOL! Facials? Umm, I don't sit on, if that's what you mean, it's not comfy and I don't like that either. But I do do other things that I know he likes that make me uncomfortable. I guess because we have a good marriage and I don't want to mess it up. I have a definite line that I won't cross, as a lady, but other than that I have a glass of wine, relax, and try new stuff.

Answer 4

Well, I think he is bored with your sex life and wants to try something new. I say if she is in great shape, swallowing is not a bad thing. semen actually tastes sweeter if the man is healthy and works out. facials is a turn on for him perhapes...Yes semen can really smell strongly and some people don't like the smell. But maybe you should give him a chance. How about let him come in your mouth and then u can spit it out..it's just a fantasy. Why not try that? Making love is all about pleasing each other...it's just fun. I am sure he would do something fun for you too.

If he is forcing you to do it then he is selfish and not respecting what you want. But if he just mentioned it and would like for you to do it ...u should think about other alternatives ..there's plenty...

Answer 5

I find those things degrading too. At least swallowing. I don't know what the other is (Thankfully). I told my husband about it, and he is fine.

Sex in a marriage is supposed to be loving and enjoyable for both partners. If you don't like what he wants, he shouldn't make you do it. and vise versa. Make your feelings known, and he should relent. If he doesn't... well.... You're going to have to make a decision.

I wouldn't do it for my husband. If he can't respect my limits and enjoy what I am willing to give, then he has no business being my husband because he really doesn't have my best interests at heart.

Answer 6

One should never feel obliged to do things one finds distasteful. However, a wise woman keeps her man happy. Somewhere, between those two thoughts is where you must find a happy agreement.

Swallowing isn't so bad if he finishes when he is all the way back in the throat. You won't taste anything or very little. (if that is what the problem is) Facials...I don't do those either. They say they won't get it in your eye, but they always do. Stings like a bee.

Answer 7

Sex in a marriage (or any relationship) is a mutual thing. There's nothing wrong with trying new stuff, however, both parties need to be comfortable with it. If you don't feel comfortable, then you guys need to try and find something else to do to have fun with it. And I'm curious as to why you find those things degrading.

Answer 8

This is interesting, because so many people say that you need to talk about what you want to improve your sexual relationship. So he has done that. There are many of us who would be happy to have oral sex more often, even if it did not end the way you describe. Perhaps there is an ending that will be exotic and erotic that is acceptable to you. And you need to be asking for something you find similarly pleasurable so that you are not left ...hanging. Perhaps he should do you first. You might feel more adventurous.

I have to go now...this has made me aroused

Answer 9

Marriage is full of doing things that you don't want to do: going to parties you don't want to attend, skipping parties you do want to attend, living places you don't want to live, talking to people you wouldn't normally talk to. But as with all these, there needs to be give and take on both sides. If you're 100% fulfilled sexually, then I would say, yeah, give in a little bit, talk about what's okay and what isn't and make life a little better. But if (as I imagine is the case) there are things you would like but aren't the way you wish they were, then I'd say you're even. Sometimes this can be an excelent opertunity to negotiate. If he wants his, you want that. If he wants that, you want this. If he's willing to do his part, you'll do your part.

Answer 10

Oh my, call out the feminist mob on this one. Lady, I guess I can understand why you would not want to do these things. I mean, we all have things that we find nasty. But then again, he is your husband and really isnt asking anything strange or nasty of his wife.

Look, I bet that you love him to go down on you, right? If he thougt it nasty, would you have a problem with it after a while? Would you be understanding or patient or so forth, as you wish him to be?

One of the things that so many seem to forget is that we are to work to please our mates, in and out of the bedroom. One thing that I would remind you of is this. The next time he doesnt wish to do what you want, ask, like, think he should do, etc, instead of being mad, you should consider that you have things he feels the same about but you say no.

It has always struck me as funny, how when a woman doesnt wish to do something, the man should understand and so forth. But it just never seems to work in reverse well.