one of my really close friends who i have known since i was born just died ... like a week ago
i dont know what to do with myself , i keep like i dunno going crazy for a while like if someone is not answering their phone i think that maybe they died... or i think that when i do something its the last time i will ever do it... even if its something like washing my hands
i dont know how to deal with it
nothing will ever be the same ..... he was only 16!!! he was to young ... i cant deal with death! especially when it is someone my age and my friend!!!!!!! help?!?!?!
im starting to go back to normal stuff but i will not go sleding(thats how he died) or say my friends name (they have the same name) cause whenever i am about to say it i think about how i will never see him again
2007-02-27 07:33:43 · 12 answers · asked by shortie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
hey-Im really sorry to hear that you lost your friend.It is definately not something that anyone can be prepared for even ithey actually were! i recently lost my mother and then one month later i lost my father to suicide. Only one year before this I lost my very best friend in a motorcyle accident.MY parents both died only 8mos ago and i was 8 mos pregnant with my very first child so they will never get to meet him.i am only 21 and never expected to have somthing so tragic happen to me.So i know exactly what it must be like for you.The honest to gosh truth is that the pain never goes away. you will always miss your friend and think about how it used to be when he was around but he is not hurting or in pain he is always going to be around you and you just need to remember all the good stuff that you guys used to do together and think of what he would be wanting you to feel or be like.SEE i never thought there would be another day when i could think of my parents/friend without just getting so upset that i found it easier to just block out the mere thought of them.BUt you can't bring them back and you can't live the rest of your life in misery.You have to make the choice to not get over it(because you never will and you can't deal with it cus you can't in the way you really want which is to just see them again to hear them and hold them)you have to choose to let something like this make you stronger and hold your head up high sweety because you have many yaers to live and your friend would want you to be putting your best foot forward and expressing who you really are and what your friend meant to you.LIfe is definately not fare but you can etheir embrase the time you did get with your friend or you can just block it out and be miserable.
2007-02-27 07:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by sweetsmiles69@jennieask-me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is awful when someone your age and someone you have known all your life dies like that. It takes a lot of time. Have you spoken to your family about going to a counselor? My best friend died a few years ago and at the time I didn't think I could fit into a world that she wasn't in anymore. I freaked out. I couldn't believe she was gone and never returning. I had a real melt down, I had to go to counseling and it took a long time to get over the initial shock. It has been four years now and I still feel very sad and lost withouth her, but I am able to move on. It takes time and some guidance. Ask for help even at school there are counselors to help. I am very sorry you lost someone like that. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but all I can say is that I have been there where you are and I really know you will get through it. cry if you have to and don't feel bad about it. Take all the time you need to grieve.
2007-02-27 07:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by katie d 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss!
Your reaction is not just normal, but appropriate. It would be horrible if his death went unmourned! Shock and feelings of loss are what we feel, especially for one who dies young and suddenly.
Life never will be the same! But some of what you take away from this tragedy will be good. It does give us an appreciation for each day, knowing it could be our last. Not likely, of course, but it gives us a reason to stop and think about how we should be acting.
All of this will become more bearable in time, the pain dulls, but never completely goes. But you can look forward to a time when thinking about him brings a fond smile to your lips again.
Just one thing. DON'T do that to your friend with the same name!!! It is TOO self-indulgent, you must talk yourself out of that one right now.
I wish you the best.
2007-02-27 07:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me just say how sorry I am to hear about this. I lost my mother-in-law last year and it can really be a real eye opener to how short life can be. You friend was only 16 and that's way too young. Unfortunately, it happens all too often.
I wish there was a magically formula to help you get past this, but there's not. I'm 28 years old and her death was completely overwhelming for me. In fact, I just spent days crying and being angry. But you know what? That's normal and it's ok. If you want to cry, it's ok to cry. If you want to get angry, it's ok to get angry. But whatever you do, you need to get past this point in your life you're at. You can't go through your life living in fear that each day may be your (or someone you love) last. While it's true, no one's guaranteed tomorrow, you just have to do your best not to think about it. Just make sure these people know how much you love them and live your life to the fullest. One thing that helped me was a wonderful church family. I had lots of people praying for me (and my family). Don't underestimate how wonderful this can be.
At the very least, see if there's a bereavement group you can join. There'll be others like you there and you'll learn not only how to cope with death, but it'll help to talk about it and listen to others and how they're coping with it.
Good luck - the pain won't last forever. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but I promise - you will start to feel better. Just remember that you're friend wouldn't want you to live your life this way.
2007-02-27 07:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you lost your friend, especially at such a young age. I think all of the things you are feeling are perfectly normal. You are right, things will never be the same - but hopefully this unfortunate event brought you and the rest of your friends close together. Life is short - things like this are sometimes the defining factors in your life.
I think you should keep his memory alive by celebrating the person he was, and what he meant to you. The hurt will lessen over time, keep your friends and family close - they will be the best help to you now.
2007-02-27 07:39:54 · answer #5 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I was 12, my friend who was 13 at the time died. Everyday I cried for hours. Just try to think of the good times you had with that person. Eventually you will stop being sad. She had a lot of brothers and sisters, so I just hang out with them and feel better.
2007-02-27 08:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you seem young, I would talk to your parents and friends. Perhaps a guidance counselor at school. I would suggest maybe seeing a therapist or a social worker that knows how to deal with grief.
Other than that, maybe keep a journal, write, blog. There are online communities, I am sure for people who are going through similiar losses.
2007-02-27 07:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh honey ... im so sorry that your friend has passed away. you have to deal with the hurt and pain. its going to be hard to get over the whole ordeal but you can really only take it one day at a time. have you spoken to your parents or maybe a school official? i think that would be your best option for help honey ... i hope you can talk to someone at home about this ... and don't worry - the pain will fade - but your friend - will remain in your heart always:)
2007-02-27 07:41:27 · answer #8 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must understand that death is a part of life. Death also doesn't have an age. It was just their time to go. You must be strong! If your friend was here they wouldn't want you to be sad. One day you will see them again in heaven. I will be praying for you!
2007-02-27 07:42:32 · answer #9 · answered by Tricee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry about your friend. It know it is very hard now, but time heals the pain but will leave you wonderful memories of him, and the special times you spent together. You need to talk about him to other mutual friends. This will help you to cope with the loss. Blessings.
2007-02-27 07:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋