Ex husbands new wife drama?

Question

Here is the situation:
My ex husband and I have been divorced since my little girl was 3 months old. His new wife is threatened by me. They were together before we ever met, broke up, and the moment that we divorced she showed up on his door step and got pregnant twice. They are not married.
Usually my ex and I are ripping each others heads off, but we are trying to be civil for the sake of our little girl. He told me today that his wife (Nicole) is giving him a hard time with us communicating. For example, he kept a dress that I needed for her pictures this weekend and I called everyday to remind him to bring it to me, and he wouldn't even answer his phone because it causes problems with her.
I also have to make sure he pays his child care on his weeks so I call him to remind him so there is no missed pays. I would love if I never had to talk with him again, but she just can't handle it and is a jealous idiot! What am I supposed to do? She is stuck with me for 15 years!

Answer 1

It sounds as though you are trying to cause problems. Have one conversation with him, "Please make sure that you pay the child support at the appropriate time and I won't call you for it"
Calling everyday for a dress sounds over the top.
If he misses child support payments then take him to court, I'm sure it isn't far from his mind if he's late or it's coming up. It's probably not the highlight of his week/month.

Answer 2

Well I would have a problem with you too if you were calling all the time about stupid sh** like you wrote about. You should not have to remind him to pay child support. If you have a child support order then the courts can make sure he pays his child support. You also should not have to constantly call him about a dress. If the dress was so important to you then you should not have let it go to their house. Just stop calling him all the time over stuff that does not really matter. Sounds like you do like to talk to him all the time. It is important to talk to him about issues with your daughter (eg. behavior,) but not to remind him about things. That is probably why you two are no longer married. He got tired of having two mothers.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like your creating some of this yourself. Why send the dress you wanted for the next weekend? Its not your job to remind of of his child suppose pymts the mans a grown up for GODs sake. If you have to remind him of his child why sent a dress youre need a week later? Stop calling and reminding him of his child support pymts, if he misses one then call him. Dont send clothes that you will need or want soon if they cant seem to return them with her. Shes not struck with you for the next 15 years she doesnt have to deal with you at all. Your calling them everyday over a dress your the problem. His wife probably doesnt want you calling their home everyday and if i were him I wouldnt answer the phone either. Shes not being jealous your a pain in the ***!

Answer 4

my ex- husband has remarried just a little over a year ago we have 4 sons 3 of whom are adults and 1 that is a teen we also have 2 grandchildren and his new wife is threatened by me as well i think its just the fact that they are the 2nd wife my ex-husband is still a part of our family we have become better friends then we ever were during our 12 years together but i have been living with my female partner for 3 years and was in another long term relationship prior to now so this woman should have no worries but still she does i try to help her feel better we have had long talks about how happy i am now and how happy he is now but its not enough and it never will be i have decided to just let it be her problem my ex and i still talk and see each other concerning our sons and she just needs time to come to terms within herself that her life with my ex is not threatened by me and never will be

Answer 5

She is feeling insecure. That is what jealousy is. She got him away from you, and probably in the back of her mind, she is concerned he could dump her for someone else-maybe even you-he could go back to you, is what she may be thinking. Please try not to call their house too often. Only when absolutely needed. Do you really "need" to call and remind your ex of his child suport payments? It sounds like possibly the three of you should meet somewhere for coffee, or lunch. (each pay their own way). Talk things over. Including her in the package may help her not feel jealous. It is a wise thing to be civil with each other for the sake of the little one. I wish you the best. Take care.

Answer 6

Sounds like your husband (or ex) is a bit of a drama queen. He likes the idea of the two of you being at odds with him cozy (and seemingly innocent) in the middle.

Stop calling his phone, call their home, and respectfully ask for whatever you need to. Or use their family email.

My ex and I, although we are on good terms, respect that we have new people in our lives, and out of resepct for them we don't call each other constantly. We've learned to deal with our joint children via email and Yahoo IM.....

When you get her on the phone, ask her to remind him....joke that you know he's going to forget. When you're calling "him" only, you're excluding her. It a perverse way, you're married (or in bed) with the two of them.....so don't exclude her from communication. Besides, she's the step mother and when it comes to schedules, she could prove useful.

Any positive steps you can make with the new wife wiill only benefit your children in the future.

Also, just in case it needs to be pointed out, you said...."the moment we divorced she showed up on his door step and got pregnant twice.....". It doesn't ACTUALLY happen like that, but ok. Careful how you word things, because remember, you have children to think about, and you don't want to end up looking bad in the end.

Answer 7

First off whether you like it or not or if she likes it on not your kids are related and you will always have to do with eachother. If you really can't get along with her then forget it. You need to keep up good communication with the father of your child for her best interest. Everything else is cake. You do what's right for your child and what ever problems she gives him are his problems to deal with. Be a good mom keep helping your ex to be a good dad (cuz reality all moms give dad a little help). That's what your daughter will remember forever, that mom & dad got along, and will make her a better person

Answer 8

you are no longer his wife and reminders should be weekly if you feel the need to. How would you like it if you was starting something with a dude and his ex kept calling. Honestly you are making yourself and him look bad. One you look compulsive and possibly jealous while you are making him look unresponsible. I say lower the calls to him and I am sure it changes and walk tall b/c you are no longer with a guy you have to do the whole mommy treatment with. good luck to you.

Answer 9

You can circumvent the whole situation by getting the court to appoint a mediator. This person will do all the communicating for you, make sure that his financial and visitation obligations are met, and that his spouse keep out of your hair. Don't aggravate yourself to the bone over this! We men can be real ******* at times.

Answer 10

Do you really have to remind him all the time??? Tell wife #2 that you really don't want to call and talk to him all the time, and would SHE make sure the dress is there, or the money is paid, or whatever it is, so you don't have to call? She might be responsible enough to make sure the money is paid on time so she won't have to have her hubby talking to you all the time. Then make sure you don't keep calling.