what can you do if you feel ugly, ageing, have two missing teeth on your front bottom row, live in a?

Question

dilapidated flat. battle long term mental health problems,, like borderline personality disorder. also have very low self esteem, and are very clingy and possessive. im 29~ how am i supposed to find a nice girl to love. somebody nice, when im in the thick of dealing with these draining problems? i think it will never happen. ive never had friends or a girlfriend..now ive been diagnosed with bpd, i await treatment and therapy. but i live a very lonely, solitary, isolated life...i also have racing thoughts that make me feel disorganised and muddled. also when i go out i suffer from dissacotiation... anyone got any views about this question? much appreciated

im on social welfare and only have my mum for company, my dad doesnt really understand me

i live in my own flat i dont live with my mum..i phone her 5 /6 times a day for reassurance and pour all these problems on her

Answer 1

accept jesus.

Answer 2

If you have been diagnosed and are awaiting treatment and therapy, you are already on the right path to coming out of your situation. That means you acknowledged there is a problem and are trying to fix it. Those things you describe will probably take a year or so to get under control, but you should improve significantly. Just give it a little time and know that you have a light at the end of the tunnel now. Teeth can be fixed and try to get fit, your looks will improve as you take better care of your body. You have a chronoligical age and a biological age (how you look and feel), two different things and the latter is a lot more under your control than what you think. Also remember that feeling ugly might just be your depressed mind distorting reality for you.

Answer 3

You absolutely must think positive. I battle with things in my life too, but always find something in the situation to smile about. If I didn't do that, I'd have to go on meds. I try not to take anything too seriously or personally. Maybe you have a great personality, maybe you are a great person period. Looks can be changed, situations can be changed. As for love, stop looking for it. When it's the right time, it'll find you. Try to do something that makes you happy, once a day, once a week, hell once an hour if that's what it takes. Have a coke and a smile, things will get better if you just think positive. :) Smile all the time, it makes people wonder what you are up to.

Answer 4

Focus on something positive about yourself....having low self esteem is not attractive. And people notice it immediately. You don't sound like you get out much. Get your butt off of the couch and walk to the library and get a good book to MOTIVATE you. On your walk there make a point to say goodmorning to people you pass along the way-don't mumble it. Say it and mean it! Smile, you'll be surprised at how many smiles you get in return. While you have been living a very lonely, solitary isolated life~you can turn that around but it is not going to happen locked up in your flat. Force yourself out of the flat every day, walk to the coffee house and have coffee and a bagel, go to the library and read the newspaper-interact with people (be sure to whisper while at the library). Who cares that you are missing two teeth, theres people out there without ANY, so you got it all over them! You can find someone. Treat people with kindness, sincerity and to have a friend you must be one. If you have been all crappy with your neighbors, make amends....offer to take the neigbors trash out if you see her struggling. Come out of that shell you are harboring and LIVE YOUR LIFE. Chin up and SMILE....Good luck to You! I'm rooting for your happiness!

Answer 5

First of all, get out, go for a long walk, relax and clear your head. realise that its you making things worse than they actually are. The world is not such a frightening place once you get to do things and meet people.
Get a job, any job, meet people, say hello and smile and start thinking about other things than your own problems, be positive that things will get better - and they will. When the negative waves come think about how you've got over them in the past, think of the times you've overcome them and how in the past the obstacles were'nt really as big as you thought they would be.
GO for it!!

Answer 6

A woman is not the answer to your problems , u have to learn to love yourself before u even have a chance of having a long term fulfilling relationship...
U are looking at your problems as a whole unit , break them down and tackle each of them one by one, that way its not all so overwhelming ... Start with the simplest/smallest of your problems conquer that , congratulate yourself and then move onto to the next one ... Don't set your self time limits , just take each day as it comes...Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Fix what you think is wrong. Go to a dentist, fix your teeth. Look in the mirror and see what can be done for your looks. There is alot of quck fixes or tricks to help you there. Go to counseling and maybe there will be answers there. You're living, breathing person that has worth in one form or another. If you're not happy with yourself, how can you make somebody else happy? It's time to do your own homework.

Answer 8

Our perceptions as human beings are so different, where as a simple task can be easy for one person, it is so much more difficult for others. Many of the coping skills we posses are actually programed into our systems from birth, in the womb! check out this link:
http://www.beyondtheordinary.net/brucelipton.shtml#AUDTAB there are some radio programs by Dr. Bruce Lipton. Try to listen to them and see if you can use what he says to help yourself. I was, and did have allot of your issues, but now that I know how to manage myself, it has become easier.

I wish you the very best, and I send you positive energy!

Answer 9

so you have your own flat,you have your parents,try and be thankful for what you have,some people have less,some people have more.it does sound hard what you have though.think of your mum,give her a break!
oh and you have a computer.
hope the treatment helps,seems everything is about waiting but things can always change.
excercise really can change your life,my health has improved since i started going out in the fresh air.

Answer 10

If you are allowed a pet in your flat , get one, any one.
Looking after an animal lifts your spirits and teaches you the value of caring (for yourself too).
Remember : Confidence is built from very small bricks

Answer 11

buddy, ever heard of self fulfilling prophecies? Lower your sights if you want a girlfriend - start with friend, get interested in others then you wont be so self absorbed, as to lonliness, if you cant join clubs / gym etc you can always amuse yourself like I do being an internet nerd.