is my rap good?its about war in iraq!?

Question

man jumped inside tha tanks cockpit dodgen bullets each long as a chopstick,got his m16 out hopin he aint drop it,lemme tell u this,war is rough but deres no way we can stop it.......his son in his room opinen his locket pictures of dad before goin to iraq,son puy it in his pocket,now im one of tha lucy ones not a sad son dad aint gone to tha army me an him have fun,but if yo dad did i feel bad fo u hope him or yo mom come through.....now back to tha war bullets all in da air,man got lucky bullet only hit a trickle of his hair,so man got a granade put it in his hands chucked it and watched it explode in sand,but what man saw really broke his heart might be an enemy but hes seein people be torn apart!but before man could think he heard a dozen bullets,each strong enough to make a buzzcut from a mullet...so he ran in a house for shelter met his crewmen in there they needed another helper,but at that second bullets came spewin through the wall,man got under the table aint no time to stand

tall...but before his very eyes he saw his crewman fall crew man tryed to be a hero and all bad call....so man got mad shot his m16 bullets riqucheting hearing a ping-tong-ting,man didnt know how many men that he killed and then he jus realised and had a little chill see man didnt think of what he has done man jus killed someone.

if u say it stinks id like 2 see u do betta!

dang it almost everyone hates wat am i gonns do now?

if u had to guess how old do u think i am after wrighting dis rap?

Answer 1

Try typing it correctly. No one's gonna read this jumbled mess of incoherence.

Answer 2

I managed to read it all
but didnt make it half way through
before I was disappointed at what I saw
and had to click the button to reply to you

your rhymes were typical, almost predictable
and your spelling just makes rap stereotypical

one thing you should try
is to straighten things up a bit
another thing would be not to rely
on misspelled words for the rhyme to fit

everyone is sick of hearing about these wars
try rapping about helping old women across the street
leave the sappy stuff up to the country stars
rapping about good grades, now thats an amazing feat

last but not least, call it a poem instead of rap
that way people arent inclined to think "oh great"

Answer 3

i think you should try using microsoft to help you with your spelling..... no one is actually going to read that pile of misspellings it is too difficult to figure out what you are trying to say. rap needs music and a mouth to say it so try posting yourself rapping it away on youtube and see the reactions. it will be more accurate than anyone trying to read it

Answer 4

john r are you fighting over there? i liked it i have several family members who were sent to iraq my father in law spent seven momths in basara right where they were bombing thankfully they all came home safely. keep it up who cares about the spelling and words bet john j wouldnt give eminem ****

Answer 5

It's not about being good or bad.
It's more about being honest. And it's not the sort od topic you do to be popular. Though, as an ex soldier, I liked it.

Answer 6

No offence to rap as music but your music delivery isn't lethal.

Answer 7

Go back to sleep

Answer 8

Really enjoyed it...thanks!

It's rap...it doesn't matter about sentences!

Answer 9

Wamzy, there is a facility to check your spelling, why don't you try it?

Answer 10

yes