2007-02-27 07:09:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i used to have the same dilemna. i finally found a way to say things that won't really offend people. i start my conversation with, i'm sorry but this is the way i see things.... and start from there.
2007-02-27 09:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Lola 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you can't. Look at it this way, who do you care most about, people or yourself???
Once that question is answered, you can decide whether to be diplomatic and a mental case or to be honest and have a few less friends. I tried the diplomacy route first. It was a dismal failure, the friends gained were more dangerous than enemies. Now I am honest with myself and let the chips fall where they may. BTW, sometimes pissing someone off can be fun. It is almost always enlightening.
2007-02-27 18:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Benjamin Franklin and Stephen Covey said it well:
By adding the very vital but simple phrases "I think" or "I feel" or "It seems to me" before whatever you say, you make it clear that YOU are not an arrogant know-it-all, but simply expressing your opinion (which may be wrong). So many people are keen to express their thoughts as if they were absolute, undeniable facts. Not to mention, many of us are keen to point fingers and blame. For example:
"You always...!"
"Why can't you...?"
Whereas, if we want to be heard, and not counterattacked, a simpler way of expressing the same would be;
"I think you often..."
"I'd like it if you could..."
That was Mr. Franklin. What Mr. Covey said was "Be sure to understand before you make yourself understood." So many of us walk into conversations with agendas. "I gotta make these people believe..." "I gotta get everyone to agree..." "How can I make everybody see...?" Drop it. Nobody wants to hear it. Instead, think "How can I figure out what they believe/think/feel?" Ask them open ended questions and keep asking until you have all the details. And then clarify by paraphrasing. Example:
"So you don't like it when I don't call you if I'm gonna be late?"
"No, i don't. I hate it, it's not fair!"
*grimacing and swallowing the urge to defend oneself* "Can you tell me why?"
"Because if I make dinner and then you don't come home then I have to throw it away! It's a waste and we can't afford to throw away money like that."
"I see. Are there any other reasons?"
"Yes. I want to know where you are and who you're with. I don't know what you're doing."
"I see." *using a bit of intuition here* "So you're worried about me?"
"Yeah, I guess..."
"So let me see if I understand... you want to know if I'm going to be late because you work hard making dinner for me and you're worried about me?"
"Yeah... I guess so..."
Voila! Problem solved. "Aww, that's sweet. I understand now. Let me tell you why I don't call." And after that, explaining yourself becomes MUCH easier.
Sounds cheesy, I know, but I've had this type of conversation plenty of times with all kinds of people, and it seldom fails.
2007-02-27 15:26:11 · answer #3 · answered by JudasHero 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't necessarily but you know what, that's ok. Everyone is so afraid of offending someone else that people aren't saying what's on their mind enough. Its the PC thing coming into play but rage against it and keep on telling like you see it.
2007-02-27 15:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really can't anymore. Years ago, if something needed to be said that might seem offensive, we just used to explain that we meant no offense but... and tell the person. They would usually be gratious enough to say "no offense taken".
These days it seems that people just wait for something to take offense about. If people want to be offended they will be.
2007-02-27 15:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jacob W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell it as if your friend told to someone else the point will be said and you haven't said it to them straight.
When speaking your mind everyone needs to be careful not to hurt someone. So when you are asking this quetion you seem like a caring person. GOOD!
2007-02-27 15:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by Xtrax 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get you own blog, podcast, radio show or talk show ; they say what is on their mind and if they offend anyone they could care less!
2007-02-27 15:23:14 · answer #7 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say it.....who cares if you offend someone. Peoples opinions don't mean anything to me so they can say what they want.
2007-02-27 15:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
shut up and people wont care cause you wont say anything stupid
2007-02-27 15:17:03 · answer #9 · answered by HO HO HO, Merry Christmas 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋