Please help!!?

Question

I worry alot and now i am worried about being a lesibien. I'm afraid though that i will convince myself that i am and i may not be. Is it something that you can do or is it that you are born either gay or straight?

Answer 1

You are born that way. You can choose to experiment and see what you like. Whatever you discover is the way you are. You don't just become gay you have to be that way already and just discover it.

Answer 2

I am a 52 year old bi-sexual woman who is married to a man I am monogomous with.
Are you attracted to boys at all? Are you more attracted to girls? There is no "test" for being a lesbian. People, alot of the time are attracted to both sexes but settle on one ore the other. I don't think that you need to "come out" right now as a Lesbian. You just need to enjoy your life and calm down about this. It is also true that many people experiment, probably more than you had imagined. Some people try same sex relationships and it works for them, others try it and it doesn't so they go for heterosexual ones. Another factor, is that I have known people that fall in love with someone of the same sex and have a great gay relationship when they never thought they were gay at all. Mostly, you need to relax and stop thinking that you have to have a label like "gay" or "straight". If you want to email me, please do. I'm happy to answer any more questions.
[e-mail]

Answer 3

That's the question of the ages, isn't it? My advice is this: relax. In fact, it might even be a good idea to take a vow of celibacy for a while. Let nature take its course. Just quit fretting over it for a while, and enjoy the other aspects of life. Not everything revolves around sex. Get to know other aspects of yourself. Find out what kind of books really excite you, go to museums, make new friends, male and female, without thinking about developing relationships (you know what i mean). Life will happen around you . You are making yourself crazy, and for no reason. If you are gay or straight, sooner or later, you will know for sure. Then just go with the flow. But don't do something just because you think it is trendy or cool. You have a lot of living to do. Don't frustrate yourself over it so much now. Good luck!!

Answer 4

You just need to relax. For many people, sexuality is a very fluid thing. Perhaps you find specific guys attractive or specific girls attractive. You don't really need to label yourself as gay or straight and be stuck with it.

If you want to experiment with a lesbian relationship, then go ahead. If you don't want to, than don't try it. Remember that being gay is not something to be ashamed of and in fact it is quite liberating for women who actually are a lesbian. I think that to some degree being gay is a choice but for some people it is a very cut and dry decision.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

Answer 5

Some people say that you're born gay.

I really don't think so.

Im a 26 year old, have a son and live with my boyfriend.

My 1st lesbian experience was when I was like 12.

Ever since, Ive kissed many girls especially when drunk.... out of one drunken night my coworker and I started messing around... even when we were not drunk we would do stuff... the last few times Ive been with women Ive been sober and I love it!

Ive thought about being a lesbian but I love men... perhaps you're just BI... try being in a relationship with a girl and if it doesnt work out you can always stick to being BI... worked for me!

Good luck and take your time!

Answer 6

If you're very young (read: early teenager), it's normal to be somewhat confused about your sexuality in general. Things tend to just sort themselves out in time. And despite what the religious right may say, it's not like you get recruited into homosexuality. You won't "become" a lesbian merely by being worried about it - you are a lesbian (or bisexual) if you're finding women more sexually attractive than guys.

And keep in mind, it's not that you're "turning into" something, you're just discovering something about yourself that was already there. There's really no need to be ashamed about perfectly normal feelings.

Answer 7

Your born gay or straight. The other part of the equation is bisexual. If you are attracted to both sexes, you'd be bisexual. It's completely normal to think about the same sex/fantasize about the same sex...and that doesn't make you gay. It's not something you can talk yourself into. If you get involved with another female and it feels right, it's right. And vice versa.

Answer 8

it really only depends on you...its not a birth thing, its the fact that you grow up having feelings for the same sex. It's not a big deal, you should not be afraid about how you feel for someone (whether it be a guy or girl), who knows you might actually be half and half (BI) which is common, and i am not sure of your age, but it seems like you havn't had enough experience yet to determine if you are a complete lesbian or not

Answer 9

What will be will be. You get yourself worked up and you'll never be happy with anyone (male or female).

Relax into who you are. If you are a lesbian then just go with it. If you're straight then go with that. If you find you like both then so be it. Any one can choose to lay with anyone else, however who they truly feel for decides what we are (it is the attraction not the action that defines us).

Answer 10

You're born how you are.... Stop worrying, relax. Don't focus on things too hard. Try different things, see what you like and go with it. Don't listen to the idiots who will want to live your life for you.