why do people think its tacky to throw thier own baby shower?

Question

my mother is helping me
but she had me do my niece and nephews
birthday party, planning and such
because she is just not a good party planner
she is helping on the cost, and things but i am not
going to be the one cooking and stuff.
im just helping with the cost, who to invite, when,and decorating, because im good at it.
I dont expect anyone to throw me a shower
just because its traditional doesnt mean
that it has to be done, i dont thnk its tacky at all
just because someone else isnt throwing
it for me, means i shouldnt have one?!

So my question is
who thinks its wrong or right
or whatever

Answer 1

Who should throw a baby shower?
Anyone except the expectant couple — though Miss Manners might disagree. Formal etiquette says that someone who's not a relative must throw the shower to avoid having it look as though the family is asking for presents. Our advice? Ignore traditional rules. Any relative, close friend, or close co-worker should feel perfectly okay about planning a baby shower.

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/babyshowers/1642.html#0

Answer 2

Why does one feel that they are owed a baby shower? Deciding to have a baby doesn't mean friends and family are now responsible for clothing and diapering the new bundle for you. Traditionally friends and family give gifts. If close friends offer to entertain your friends at a shower, that is fine. Throwing a shower for yourself or having your mother or sister do this is beyond tacky. I don't see anything wrong with Mom or Sis offering to make something to serve the guests to help the hostess, but it should be the friend(s') idea to host this for the mom-to-be. If no one offers to give you a shower, you will survive. You didn't get pregnant so you could have a shower, did you?

Answer 3

Baby showers are not really 'parties' thrown for the entertainment and enjoyment of the guests; they're just opportunities to get presents.

I -- apparently in the minority on Yahoo! Answers -- am ill at ease with the entire concept. I don't personally know any adults who would enjoy feeling like they had to attend a non- or barely-alcoholic pseudo-party where a gift was a REQUIREMENT.

If you want presents, and have no shame in asking for them, register somewhere and broadcast the existence of the registry to everybody you can think of. There's no way to keep up the farce that it's an enjoyable social event rather than gift-grubbing if you have any hand in throwing it.

If you actually do want an enjoyable social event, have a late-afternoon 'tea' with good food and drink some months after the baby's arrived so you can introduce him or her to people. And don't register anywhere.

Answer 4

Some people frown on throwing yourself a shower (bridal or baby) because it looks like you are demanding gifts. I've even heard that your mother shouldn't throw you a shower for the same reason. I can see why people would look down on someone throwing their own shower, but my mom and mother-in-law have both thrown me bridal and baby showers, and no one has said anything.

It sounds like you and your mom are planning it together, because she isn't good at planning parties. That's fine, I would just let it be known that she is "hostessing" the event. That way you can avoid offending people.

Answer 5

well i dont really have an oppinion about this, i feel whatever works for the person. i think some people might find it tacky esp older relatives/people because it may make you seem eager to get gifts vs when someone throws one for you it seems like they want to help you out, just a thought. But whatever you are comfortabe with is all that matters.

Answer 6

Yeah, I kinda think its tacky as well... Maybe wait until after the baby is born, and have a party to celebrate the arrival. Then it wont seem so much like you are asking for gifts, but more like you are introducing the baby to your friends and family. People will probably bring gifts then.

Answer 7

i think its fine if someone want to throw themselves a baby shower......some people don't have time to plan a shower for other people and i think its great you get to help.....i think some people feel a baby shower should be a surprise but if you dont like surprises then its a good thing to plan your own party plus you know what will be served for food who's coming and what games will be played so there will be nothing you dont like there....so i thinks its fine if that's what the person wants.

Answer 8

Maybe some people feel that the person is "begging" for gifts? (this is not how I feel BTW) I think that many people today just look at the gift aspect of the shower, rather than just celebrating the new baby. You could always put "no gift necessary" on the invite.

Answer 9

I would never have a baby shower for myself. My step mom is having one for me on April 1st. the down fall is that it is going to be at my home because My mom wont come if it is at my dad and step moms house. I think having one for yourself looks like you are asking for gifts. Just put on the invatations when it says "given by" put your moms name and her number for rsvp. This is my 3rd baby, My mom had a shower for me with my first and I did not have one with my 2nd. I felt wierd when my step mom offered a shower for me this time but I haven't had a baby in 7 years so hopefully people wont think it is tacky that I'm having another one.

Answer 10

Well sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do...

But throwing it yourself...looks like a blatant attempt to fish for gifts.

That's like throwing your own surprise birthday party...

At least you're "Co Hosting"...that doesn't seem AS tacky...lol

But frankly...babies are expensive...Screw it...throw yourself a shower and get those presents...we need all the help we can get...lol

NOT ONLY THAT...but babies are a blessing...what better reason to throw a party??