Where did the myth start that sexual compatability and love go together hand-in-glove, so to speak?
2007-02-27 06:53:11 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I absolutely have been deeply, truly in love, and it is extraordinarily arrogant and ignorant of you to say otherwise.
2007-02-27 06:58:52 · update #1
Who said I am bragging????
2007-02-27 06:59:53 · update #2
I get a chuckle out of all these pompous jerks. It always seems that the ones with the least experience act like they know the most. You are absolutely right - one has nothing to do with the other. It's a home-run when the person you love also happens to rock your world in bed, but its just a coincidence when it happens.
2007-02-27 07:31:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
.
There is more to love than feeling all warm and guishy inside. Love and monogamy are very beautiful things. Sex, when you truly love someone (and not just caught up in a romance of the moment) is amazing sex. It goes much deeper than "good" sex or "bad" sex. It's a connection of heart, mind and soul before the bodies ever connect.
"Sexual compatability" as you call it happens not when Johnny come lately rings your bell for you but, when you learn to take great care with the intimacy and pleasuring of your partner.
Sex and dating are not about love. When you spend your life with someone; go through financial hardships, raise children, life threatening illnesses, celebrate milestones, hold each other during a crisis, serve them even when you're so angry you really think you should quit but, you don't then you will know what love is. Then you will be in a position to judge true sexual compatability.
EDIT: I'm not trying to be arrogant. And I'm not judging anyone for having multiple partners. But, you can't tell me that you've been deeply in love with more than one person. Because when the day comes that you stop worrying about wine, roses and orgasms to give your heart to one man, then you'll know what it means to be deeply in love. What you're doing is not love. And some of us here know because of our past experiences. I have thought I was head over heals in love when I was younger. But, now after 11 years, 3 children, several celebrations and a few crisises I know what love is. And those other girls, I honestly can't remeber half their names.
EDIT: Wow, Valerie. That was a bit harsh. I'm trying to communicate there is a difference between real love and feeling warm and fuzzy for a while. I am not trying to hammer or judge anyone.
EDIT: John H, you don't know me or what type of experience I have. Don't assume because I'm saying this now it's what I've always lived by. I can say what I say because I've lived and experienced. When you get older and have had some life experience you'll understand that people don't always give advice to hear their own voice. Sometimes we give advice so that you don't have to suffer the same that we have.
2007-02-27 15:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by penhead72 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think it has to do with the fact that if it's just sex, both people can really let go, be themselves, and enjoy each other because nobody gives a damn how the other will judge you in the morning.
When you truly love a person, you are likely to feel at least a bit insecure about that fragile feeling so you may be afraid of scaring them off, having them form a low opinion of you, etc and so you tone down your passion.
Even if you can overcome that sort of 'shyness' with your lover (and you really should), sometimes people just aren't particularly compatible sexually. Everyone has different tastes and preferences.
2007-02-27 15:06:23 · answer #3 · answered by sueflower 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think, love includes some degree of sexual compatibility. It doesn't have to be the "best" sex you've ever had all the time - but I can hardly imagine loving someone if I am repulsed by them sexually. Love can't flourish without a certain level of sexual compatibility and attraction - however, love doesn't have the power to infuse someone with mad sex skillz where there are none.
And, it goes without saying that you don't have to be deeply in love with someone to have great sex. There's a lot to be said for the no-strings-attached, no-holds-barred lovemaking.
2007-02-27 15:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is not so surprising. It is easy for a woman to be a total s l u t with a man she has no future. You don't care what he thinks of you. You are afraid to be your sexually free self with a man you love because you fear rejection from his judgment of your past..
This is a common women thing. It is also why the husband is the last to know a woman's true sexual history. This also could imply you carry some shame over your sexual past. Well you shouldn't feel remorse. If a man say he loves you but can't handle the truth about your past it was not meant to be.
2007-02-27 15:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by T-Rex 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I believe the myth evolved from idealism -- in an ideal world, many believe, the more you love someone the better the sex would be and vice versa. People sometimes want so badly to believe that something is true that they then start stating it as though it is true, and it eventually becomes somewhat accepted generally as true. Congratulations to you for challenging this overgeneralization; I hope you challenge other beliefs people state as facts as well.
I have a little trouble with your phrasing, though: "bad" sex??? In my experience, sex is like pizza: when it's good, it's really good, and when it's bad it's still pretty good!
2007-02-27 15:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, I don't understand how you can have bad sex with someone you deeply love unless they don't love you back. I believe if 2 people truly love each other it shows in the love-making. However, you can have great sex without love. I do not believe this is a contradiction just two different things.
2007-02-27 15:00:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jodi 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are the type of person who likes excitement, the thrill of new things and not redundancy. Sex is tiresome with the same person when you hit a certain amount of times especially when your not spontaneous. Your adventurous side needs this and you really enjoy looking forward to a new guy. Let me tell you, when two people are sexually attracted to each other at that moment it is freak-en great, but when you get to know that person and time goes on it starts to get old and that wild sexual animal instinct just fades away.
Enjoy your self and just be careful and safe (protection).
2007-02-27 15:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by SuperDave 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
they do go hand in hand. You can have great sex with someone you are not in love, one night stands whatever, but you can have both great sex and love with one person. You just haven't found that. It works both ways.
2007-02-27 19:03:10 · answer #9 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love makes sex better, so if you had two sex partners that were identical love-makers, but you loved one and not the other, than sex with the one you loved would be better. But it's not a cure-all. Being in love doesn't automatically make someone a great lover.
2007-02-27 15:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Sean J 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋