Family matters-hubby's job, need advice?

Question

I want to know what do you do or any advice...
We have been married for 7 years, for the last 4 years I have been talking to him about getting another job. Some thing with some benifets or a ladder to climb.
The negitive side about this job is that he is topped out in pay at 13 dollars and hour, there is no moving up in this job and there is no benifets ins, retirement nothing.

The plus to this job it that he is comfortable there, he likes to build things and he gets to do that there.
I asked him why he doesn't look for anything and he says that this job keeps us afloat and anything else would be less I agree, I just don't understand... The people that he works with are...different than people that we would hang out with..to say the least.
We have 4 kids 2 and two that we had..this is just stressful,
After all this time things are getting hard to bear, I have been very careful in my words to tell him how I feel ithout nagging or being pushy! Help!

I got a call about two hours after I posted this, his boss asking if he was home I said no he should be at work!! He said that he got mad about "OTHER THINGS" and fired him.I can't even tell you how strange this is! Hubby came in saying that he had went over to two other companies looking for work, with no luck. These people treated him like crap and they are vulgar that was the different being limited on letters I couldn't explain that, but he liked the work. Thanks for the advice, there is some good stuff here. I am glad there were honesty there. I can't even tell you hpw strange this is!!!! His boss called wants him back, he didn't talk to him, hubby said final straw with putting up w/ bosses anger issues. We have enough to get by on for a few months. any advice would still be welcome a little different now! I know that this was meant to happen for something better to come along, he is to skilled to just hold on to this, forced change can be good! I didn't have to say a word! Thanks

Answer 1

He is happy there...and that is important.

Answer 2

Whenever a man chooses to marry and take on the responsibility of children, he should then decide to get a job that will benefit the family. Having a job that does not offer benefits such as Health insurance or a Retirement plan does not sound like a good plan. Your husband seems to just accept to drift by as long as he likes what he is doing. A real man does what is best for his family. This is why girls need to really look at the type of guy they marry and have children with or they find themselves in the very same situation you are in now. If you cannot get him motivated to work on a better financial future then I don't know what to tell you. Hope you will be able to get him to seek career counselling. Best of luck to you both!

Answer 3

Oh yes there it is again that term. "COMFORTABLE" we all know comfortable doesn't pay the bills. But making a few sacrifices for a better future for all may. Is staying afloat his goal in life?
I hear this from every one I don't want to leave because I am comfortable. But the bottom line is you can be comfortable anywhere. You just have to find the right job for you. Benefits these days are hard to come by so if your husband could get a job with benefits this would be the motivation for anyone to get comfortable. He's got a family to think about. Comfort is out the door right now. Instead of nagging him. Maybe you should find out what his goals are for his families future. That wouldn't be nagging.

Answer 4

You need the security of health insurance and a retirement plan. Try talking to him, and start saving 10% of his paycheck for emergencies. Then when you have $1000-2000, you can take a paycut in a new job. But until he moves job, you will be living on the edge with your health and the future. Hope your children don't break a bone or anything. How long can you live like this? Don't nag, just tell him, you and his family need something better. It is not okay just to float through life, you must act. Can you get a job in the evenings to help out?

Answer 5

My husband went from a well paid job to becoming an apprentice electrician for which he gets paid less than half his old salary. It was well worth it.
For years we thought we couldn't afford to do it so put it off. If he had of done it when we considered the possibility he would be fully qualified now and on a lot more money now.
At his old job he was really unhappy and now he loves going to work it makes family life so much better. I believe in quality not quantity. We've taken a slump financially but you always make do, the more money you have the more you waste! So I say take the plunge and do something you want.

Answer 6

Some men are leaders, and some are followers.
My husband has run every company he has ever worked for. He is 35 with 16 years of upper management experience. Never went to college. Makes a great income.
This is not the case for you. Why don't you go to school and get your R.N. it takes 2 1/2 years for the associates of nursing and prerequisites. You will start from $30-$35 per hour and be able to provide for your family.
Good luck.

Answer 7

Just ask him where he plans on being once he reaches retirement age. I mean financially. Is he going to be able to survive on social security alone? What happens if he gets hurt and loses his job? I hope you have health insurance for your children's sake. He really needs to think of their future also. I just think he needs to be approached directly and bluntly. Feelings be damned. Your future is at stake here. $13.00 and hour is really nothing now a days. He has a responsibility to provide for his family as well as you do. And if he is not living up to his full potential because he is comfortable in a dead end job, then he is a typical slacker. If it were my husband, I'd give him an ultimatum. Either look for a different job, or me and the kids are leaving. I can be poor on my own.

Answer 8

Your husband is comfortable with routine, however, routine isn't getting his family comfortable. You should start by sitting down and making a list with your husband of things that you or your family would like. Do you need new appliances? Would you like a family vacation, do you want a bigger nest egg. Ask your husband if his job will provide for those things. There are many jobs where he can "build things", he's being lazy and selfish and needs to take into account the things that his family depends upon him for. If he won't change jobs, then you should and show him how it's done.

Answer 9

I can't imagine how you make ends meet on $13.00 an hour with 4 kids, no benefits and no retirement fund. That must be somewhat scary-- you know that one medical problem or one accident can wipe you out!

It sounds like he fully understands how you feel and has made his decision about his job and isn't interested in changing right now. He's very comfortable and complacent, and not the "go-getter" type. If he ever expresses an interest in expanding his options, you can look into career/job counseling
http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/counseling/index.php
"the concept of transferable skills: essentially, that you are defined not by your job title, but by the skills that you possess, which are transferable from, and to, any occupation you may happen to be involved in at the moment."

It could be that the isn't aware of other jobs he can do with his skills and experience-- he might be stuck in a rut and not seeing his true value.

Answer 10

If you are so worried about the money why don't you go out and get a better paying job. Women now have this option you know?

Women want the equality but not the responsibility. The day I started having female bosses that got payed more than me I began seeing this differently.

Answer 11

He seems perfectly content, but it's obvious you're sure not. Some guys go after the money and some guys are content just eeking by. Guess you'd like a nice new car, nicer house in an upscale neighborhood and new clothes? Great insurance and money for dining out at restaurants on the weekends and gettaway vacations? Oops, you married the wrong guy.