I don't understand this at all.....?

Question

You have women coming on here asking if they can eat certain foods and the pregnancy police come out telling them...no deli meat, no soft cheeses, for gods sake not a drop of caffeine, etc...and then you have people turning around saying a little alcohol isn't bad while your pregnant. Or how about those who freak when a pregnant woman takes medications while shes pregnant, meds prescribed by a medical doctor with a *gasp* medical degree, sure they are not superhuman but most of them know a little more than the average person about what is and is not safe!

Since no one knows exactly how much alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome how can anyone condone any amount at all, but go off on a woman who wants nothing but a subway cold cut sub with some sort of soft cheese on the side and a diet coke? This has not happened to me, but I see it so often on this site and it really makes no sense to me at all, can someone explain?

i don;t answer a question I see as stupid...and this question is not about any certain question, its about the nazis who answer them telling you not to eat anything for fear of harming your baby, but a little alcohol is just fine.....

Answer 1

I agree with you, but the problem is the way these women use this forum.

People should not be on this site asking questions that are answered in the plain text of "What to expect" or by doing a simple internet search. This area should be about personal experiences and sharing, not disbursing information text book style.

Hey, no offense to anyone here, but if I wanted to know how much tuna I could eat, or whether a half glass of merlot would harm my baby, I wouldn't trust anyone in cyberspace, I'd look it up in a book, medical website or ask my doctor.

However, if I wanted to know how people dealt with breastfeeding problems or how recovery from a c section was, this is my forum.

On another note, I think there should be a separate section for moron teenage girls and boys who can't keep their pants on and either are or think they might be pregnant, because those questions are getting OLD.

Answer 2

Partly I think it comes from the different ages of people who use this site. For those women who gave birth before the 90s, they weren't told not to drink alcohol, and so they did drink a bit while pregnant (and thankfully, many of them avoided FAS).

Even for things like caffeine the information changes regularly and rapidly, when I had my son 3 1/2 years ago I was told to have NO caffeine, but for my daughter who was born 3 months ago my doc said up to a couple cups of coffee per day was fine.

Personally, I try to list sources when it comes to harmful/not harmful questions about things during pregnancy (even if the source was what I was told by my doc rather than something out there on a website). But I know I seem to be in the minority, because most people just spout off. I certainly hope that the person asking the question has enough sense to take everything with a grain of salt.

Answer 3

Most of the time, you don't have the exact same people answering all the questions. I was a freak about alcohol. I didn't drink a drop after I found out, and i was a bit worried because i had been drinking the week prior to finding out. As far as food, I pretty much ate the same things and that included deli meat. I was never warned not to eat it. The only thing I was told to be easy with was fish because of mercury. It seems every day they come out with more and more things you can't do during pregnancy. If I was pregnant today, i would probably try to follow most of the guidelines, but it gets to the point of "What can I have?" Some OB's will tell you a little wine is OK. Mine did. I still didn't drink. A lot of it is what they are told by their doctors, thier mothers, and thier friends with kids.

Answer 4

"The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists recently conducted a large study including 400,000 American women, all of whom had consumed alcohol during pregnancy. Not a single case of fetal alcohol syndrome occurred and no adverse effects on children were found when consumption was under 8.5 drinks per week. 3

A recent review of research studies found that fetal alcohol syndrome only occurs among alcoholics. The evidence is clear that there is no apparent risk to a child when the pregnant woman consumes no more than one drink per day."

http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/FetalAlcoholSyndrome.html

I don't say anything that bad about cold cuts, either.

I do see your point, though. There seems to be a lot of "I'm doing this, and firmly believe it makes me a good person. And there's no excuse for you to not suffer along with me!!"

And many of the web sites -- and even books -- on pregnancy are either written by idiots, or for idiots. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" is very dumbed-down and full of fear-mongering don't-do-this with very little to back it up. My midwife admitted to dreading women who'd read it uncritically, noting that they came in with these massive lists of questions about what they could and couldn't eat. The web sites -- and not just the amateur ones -- are riddled with bad 'information.'

People come on here periodically and say "I'm vegetarian; anything I need to know about being pregnant and not eating meat?" Invariably, some helpful wag tells them "ur babby needs meet to survive!!" Amazing how the Hindu population reproduces nonetheless. Anyway, babycenter.com is happy to tell you that vegetarianism is fine, while giving some of the stupidest nutritional advice I've ever seen. (A recommendation for nearly 1,600 calories per day of nothing but tasteless protein, for one.)

It's easier, I guess, for the lazier sort of obstetrician to hand out a Xerox of do-this don't-do-this saying NO SOFT CHEESES than it is to take the time to explain that, say, soft mould-ripened unpasteurized cheeses carry a minute risk of listeria; listeria is extremely dangerous during pregnancy; still, the risk is small, no pregnancy is risk-free, and it's ultimately your choice how much risk you want to accept, etc, etc.

Many of these women view doctors as a bit god-like; if a _doctor_ says X is good or bad, it is automatically wonderful or unthinkable. So if Mrs A gets the above-mentioned Xerox, she thinks she's being reasonable to look at Mrs B as ill-informed and selfish for eating any sort of soft cheese.

Answer 5

I believe the problem is that everyone wants to be an authority on just about everything, from nutrition, to medication to pregnancy. Unfortunately, most of us are simply not authorities on these subjects. We know what we either read or hear about from media/friends/books.

While I do agree that a woman should be careful with regards to her alcohol consumption during pregnancy....lets give pregnant women a break! If they crave a cold cut sandwich...let them have it....they deserve it.

One could argue that these meats are not healthy, polluted...whatnot. However, our environment is polluted as well and we are not asking pregnant women to place themselves in a bubble to avoid this exposure.

we have become society where we fear all, and feel that almost everything is bad for us. However we fail to see that it is not our consumption of these foods that harms us...however the amounts we actually consume.

Answer 6

I think its because people have nothing better to do than tell other people how they should be living. Everyone seems to be an expert on everything these days. I know for me, I quit smoking six times and I had six miscarraiges, my doctor told me to smoke but to greatly cut it back. Than I had horrible heart burn and he gave me a prescription to get rid of it. I went to a wedding and had a sip of champagne. I didnt walk around with a glass of milk in each hand. My pre natal vitamins made me sick. I craved medium rare burgers and shame on me but yes I ate them!!!! I think the point is no one knows. I do not do drugs, I am not an alcoholic, but I did what my body was used to doing before I got pregnant. I have heart that crap about cold cuts but it didnt stop me. How bad can it really be? They are going to start selling meat that is made from cloned animals, and they are not labeling the meat so no one will know. I would rather risk it with a bologna sandwich than eat a cow that was a science project! By the way, she is now a 13 year old beautiful girl, so I didnt do anything that bad. I think we just stress over the fact that is something is wrong, we will automatically blame our selves.

Answer 7

There always seems to be a new study or testing that shows that a pregnant can't eat or be around something else. There is such a broad age group answering questions on here, that advice and opinions vary greatly. Many moons ago women weren't told that you can't smoke or drink or that cold cuts are back for you. My mom smoked with me and wasn't exactly the picture of healthy eating, I turned out just fine.

Answer 8

My husband works with developmentally disabled people. Many of them are disabled from fetal alcohol syndrome. It takes a LOT of alcohol to cause FAS. Every one of their moms were alcholics who consumed large ammounts of alcohol EVERY DAY. Its not smart to RISK it, and drink alcohol while pregnant. But i had a few drinks before I even knew i was pregnant. I got really scared, but my doctor said not to worry. I would take a lot more alcohol than that to hurt my baby, over an extended period of time. No, i dont think its ok to have a drink while pregnant, buuuut, if you have a few before you know you are prego, its not going to be a tragedy. Yeah, people need to chill out about some stuff. I ate taco bell my entire pregnancy, and our daughter is totally healthy. people in 3rd world countries have hardly anything to eat, yet they still manage to have tons of babies. we should do our best for our children, but quit stressing so much. the stress is just as bad.

Answer 9

I totally agree with you. I have had four pregnancies and with each pregnancy I was responsible enough to know what I should or should not take.... if in doubt, I would not take it. I had a cold during my last pregnancy and my OBGYN prescribed medication for me (I think it was Afrin..not sure though) and my neighbor, who was pregnant as well came over to ask me what I was taking for my cold because she was sick as well. I told her what my doc gave me and she went to the store to get some for herself. Well, at her next doctor's visit her doctor got indignant with her because she took some OTC nose drops, telling her that she could damage her fetus because no one can possibly know the effect the medication can have on the baby, etc. She ran to my house to tell me to stop taking my meds that MY doctor prescribed for me and telling me what HER doctor said, etc. WEll, I continued taking my medication and my baby was born just fine. She would not even dye her hair during the pregnancy. I did.
During my first pregnancy 19 years ago my OBGYN told me to drink 6 oz of beer everyday for the minerals and vitamins. I did and my baby was born very healthy. I was advised by my doctor during my 3rd pregnancy to drink a glass of pilsner beer to help induce labor (didn't work though..... LOL!!!)
Everyone is going to give their opinion and thinks it is the right thing to do because it worked for them or they read somewhere that eating cheese will make your baby have 3 feet or drinking coffee will turn your baby into a huge coffee bean, etc. Utter nonsense!!!
Use your common sense!!! Drinking a 6 pack of beer a day probably isn't the best thing to do during pregnancy (DUH), but having an occasional beer or a glass of wine is not going to harm a baby. What about all the women who drink a case of soda per day when they are pregnant? Or live off of Mc Donalds for 9 months? Be responsible!

Answer 10

Sure, I'll explain it. It's actually very simple. Someone has a question, they want opinions, from people who have experience. I would hope that noone takes this information only and goes by it only. I think its for temporary relief to a question that is bothering someone. Why do so many people ask why people are asking questions? If you don't like it, don't answer it.