How do you leave someone your afraid of?

Question

I have been with my husband for 3 years now and I feel as if I'm in too big of a hole to dig myself out of. The walls are caving in on me and I'm just waiting for the day I have my last breathe. I don't want to see my children suffer,my son crying telling daddy to leave mommy alone. What would calling the police do,I'd be dead before they even made it. My family or a shelter? He would harrass my family and put more threats on them,I can't put them through that. He tells me to leave then grabs me by the hair when I try,told me that wherever I go he'll find me and kill me. I feel as if I have no where to run or anywhere to hide. I lost myself in this relationship. It started with a slap,to a kick then it went to stuffing shirts,blankets down my mouth so the neighbors in the next apartment wouldn't hear my screams as he beat me. So much abuse I've endured and stil I stay. No one sees the pain in my eyes underneath the fake smile. Can someone please help me,I need some good advice

He has evil inside of him and I am not saying this just to be mean. He's afraid to sleep in the dark, he sees black figures, hears people whispering in his ear. He this of Satan in his head often, he even whispers his name under his breathe for no reason. This is also why I am so afraid of him, I don't know what he is truely capable of.

Answer 1

When he has left for work you pack up the nessecity items (licenese, ss card, birth certs, credit cards, etc and some clothes and a few toys for the kids)
Then you go straight to a shelter! They will help you and the kids re-locate and give you counseling and such. Tell your family once your safe that your okay and you have to go away and get help as you left the jack*ss! At the shelter they will help you get a restraining order and any others that you may need.
Not only is he abusing you...but look what kind of impact it is having on your kids...Do you want your kids thinking that is is okay behavior?
Please please please get help!!!! YOU are sooo worth it and doing so you will open doors that you may never knew existed... YOU owe your abuser nothing.. RUN RUN RUN RUN get the help!!! What would happen to you if he did kill you... he would raise the kids in the same way by abusing them! PLEASE go get help! There is help out there
Look at Tara Grant... she has 2 children that have lost a mom and a dad...
Please go get help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Well, if you can easily do it, document your case against him ...
that is, if you have recordings of him beating you, or threatening
you, etc, then collect them all. Do not, however, put yourself
at significant risk to do so.

Then take yourself and your children to a shelter and forward
whatever evidence collected to the police.

As scared as you are of him, given your description of his
traits, you are safer getting away from him and risking that
he'll find you then staying around.

If you think that he'll break into the women's shelter, then
by-all-means, skip town. However, make sure you gave
your evidence to the police and establish a contact at
the police that you can call to find out what's going on.

If you do skip town and never contact the police again,
it will be his word against silence - keep yourself in the
loop.

Recognize that whether he is evil or sociopathic or
just plain sick - it doesn't matter. He is DANGEROUS.
And you will not be able to help him by being where
he can hurt you.

This may violate everything you feel, and certainly
everything he says, but it is true. His apologies,
though completely heartfelt are no indication
whatsoever that he won't do it again.

Many studies on battering have shown that one
a person starts battering, they won't stop until
there is an intervention - you cannot, should not
be that intervention.

There have been a lot of women (and yes, several men) who
have gone through this - you are not alone.

Answer 3

There are shelters for women like you. the next time you should be going to the grocery store or some such place, take the kids and go directly to the police station and ask to be taken to the shelter. Where the shelters are are not public knowledge. After safely in the shelter they will help you to start your life over. You can do it. You already know you are brave for having made it this far. Sometimes they even have contact with shelters in other states so you can start over without worrying about eventually "bumping" into him. Don't even contact your family initially, what they don't know could keep them out of it. The shelter can contact them and tell them you and the kids are safe. Join a church too. A good church family will be very supportive! Good luck to you and God be with you.

Answer 4

The only thing you can do is to pick up your things and get . And if you are worried about him coming after you and the kid ~kids ~ then get the cops to take him away and go to court . tell the judge what has been going on and you are in fear for your s and the kids life . let them see how things are .. no woman nor no man should be beaten on for any reason what so ever. you should have left him along time ago when it first started . people say and do things ~shakes my head~ and then when its done and over they think by loving up on you that everything is better and If any one thinks that then they are so sadly wrong . It will never be OK to ever hit the ones that you love . I don't care what they say , its only words , and words can go away but when it comes to hitting oh hell no . I am this way and will always be this way . don't let me see a man hit a woman , or a woman hitting a man that is never OK . A woman is to be looked on as a blessing to the man , as a man is to be looked at in the same way . but you have these ones out there that try to own their mates and beat them and no one needs to stay in that . best of luck to you and the kids .

Answer 5

A shelter should be your choice: but not a homeless shelter for the sake of having a roof over your head. You need help and support from an organization that serves women in your situation. Do not be afraid to go to them; they have heard variations of your story a thousand times.
They know that you will need protection. The police will also need to know of how you have been treated because they too have been educated through experience and litigation. They know how a guy can get mad and want to hurt you again.
But think of it this way: the support is out there (Help for Abused Women and Children is the name of the organization in my area but there are organizations like this everywhere and they have different names). So use that support. It will only make your life better to leave and you know it.
Think about what it would be like to feel safe. Your children would like to feel safe, too.
Good luck. God bless you!

Answer 6

I hope you have parents who love you. You need to have a plan and get out of that situation as fast as your legs can carry you. There are women shelters in your town where he will not find you. The longer you stay, the more you will find it harder to leave because you will believe you are worthless as he would have you believe. Your children ARE suffering. Do not allow this evil person to ruin you or your children's lives. You probably cannot see any light right now as in your mind you are wondering how you would be able to help yourself but there is nothing worse that where you are. Start planning this moment to get out of that house and don't look back. There are people who will help you. Do you parents know, your pastor or your best friend? You have the internet so start getting your resources in line and do this if not for you for your children. If I knew who you were and where you lived I would call someone for you. I have had a grown child married to an abuser and believe me they pick on those who cannot defend themselves. They are truly weak insecure men who harm a woman. Please find help immediately. Don't worry about a thing except getting out.

Answer 7

Well, my aunt left my uncle when he was at work and I am so glad that she left the alcoholic bully. She was able to live out the rest of her life in peace. She died about twenty years after she left.
You can do it too. No one deserves that crap. Best get out while you are still able to do so. Dead women cannot escape. This brutal monster could kill you. No one wants that for you.
If you're scared to leave, then think of the children and the hell they're going through. I'm sure you don't want this for yourself and you certainly don't want it for the children.
Perhaps, he grew up in hell, that doesn't mean that your children should.
Don't you miss your freedom? Friends? Hobbies? Peace of mind? LEAVE and return to sanity. There isn't enough money or house or guilt that would make me stay with this abusive nut job.
I think a bill should be introduced in the US Congress that if a woman is being abused, and that woman has options to get out, and she has minor children then she should be charged with child abuse if she stays in the relationship because those children are living in unnatural conditions where they are being emotionally abused if not both emotinally and physically abused.
Yes, it is that serious!

Answer 8

Take your kids and go to the nearest police. Ask them to help you locate the nearest safe house for battered women. Don't look back or reconsider. Do this as soon as you can.

Don't tell him you are going or give him any indication by packing large suitcases full of clothes and things - most safe houses have ways of getting you set up even if you only have the clothes on your back. if he senses that you are making a move, it could be dangerous for you or he might try to talk you out of it.

You will be safe at the shelter - the women there will take care of you and your kids and help you through everything you need to do to reclaim your life. Trust them, they have done this before. It will be a safe place for you and your kids. You can start getting your life back in order. And your kids will start to feel some stability in their lives.

This may be the hardest thing you will ever do and at times, you may wish you had stayed. But never waiver. you have to save yourself and your kids now - before it is too late. Men like this rarely change and if they do, it takes years of therapy.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Contact the battered women's shelter in your area. If you don't know where to find it, call the police or sheriff's dept. They have that information available for women in your situation. They will guide you and help you through this. These people see situations like this every day. They know all of the answers. If you are worried about finances, they can help you there also.

Get out immediately. Women and children are killed every day by men like yours. Sounds like he may be schizophrenic also, and that would make him even more dangerous. For your children's sake and your own GET OUT AS SOON AS HE LEAVES THE HOUSE. GO TO THE NEAREST POLICE STATION OR SHELTER. DO NOT LET HIM OR THE CHILDREN KNOW THAT YOU PLAN TO LEAVE. THE CHILDREN MAY INNOCENTLY TELL HIM.

I know this situation well. I lived it. I am happy now, but I needed help to get where I am today.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

Answer 10

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