I think my baby's sleep problems are due to the`fact that she cant comfort herself back to sleep......so i did what others told me to do and i let her cry it out.........the crying never stopped it just excalated as if someone was hurting her and the next day she had lost her voice........i felt soooooooo bad .....is there any other `way to teach her ?
2007-02-27 04:57:41 · 8 answers · asked by Mandy 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
"Self-soothing" is, IMO, a harmful myth. When babies are left to cry with no comfort, they don't learn to comfort themselves, they learn to give up hope that their caregivers can be trusted to meet their needs. They feel abandoned, and hopeless in their efforts to communicate the only way they know how-- crying.
I taught my babies to "comfort themselves" by comforting them myself when they needed it. Most people think babies should be independent by that magical First Birthday, but my experience has taught me that they naturally become more independent ON THEIR OWN, with little "training" required, between the age of 2-3 years. They were pretty needy for those first two years of life, granted, and with my first two children I got a lot of flack for it from family, friends w/ babies, etc. But in the end, after spending all of that time and energy to teach my babies that I was there for them when they needed me (or even just seemed to *want* me) , they grew into extremely independent, confident, and *empathetic* little people. All on their own.
Your mileage may vary, but I suggest teaching her by example.
2007-02-27 05:11:49 · answer #1 · answered by LaundryGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other than just sitting in the room with her, but not picking her up might help. How long did she cry? Did you try going in every few minutes or did you just let her go? There are so many variations to crying it out. When I first tried it, my son cried for over 3 hours. I finally gave in and then started going in every 5 minutes or so. If you still want to go the cry it out route, try going in every once in a while. Above all, do what is right for you and your daughter. I think that the best way to avoid long term sleep problems is to address them immediately. Otherwise, the older they get the harder it is. Good luck.
2007-02-27 05:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by chelebeee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your baby first cries, go in the room, make sure the babies okay (doesn't need feeding or a clean diaper). Pat your baby's back and leave the room. Wait 5 minutes, go back in the baby's room, do not pick the baby up, but comfort (rubbing back, singing), leave the room, Wait 10 minutes and repeat, then wait 15 minutes & repeat (you get the idea).
Everyone I know who's done this has had GREAT success
2007-02-27 05:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by njyecats 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That tough. I don't believe in crying it out at all. I don't necessarily believe that babies should be able to self-soothe either since I know adults that can't. This site has some great tips: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp
2007-02-27 05:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by April 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I felt so bad...is there any way to teach
YOU need the teaching. Actually, your baby IS teaching you - to come when she cries. Thank you, Dr. Pavlov.
Let her cry it out. Unless she is in discomfort from gas or a dirty diaper, let her go.
2007-02-27 05:06:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You MUST LET HER CRY IT OUT no matter how long it takes. ANY other response from you is simply reinforcing the behavior you are trying to stop.
2007-02-27 05:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by toomanycommercials 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try playing some soft lullabies in her room, or nature sounds like waterfalls or rain, or the ocean. alot of the ocean sounds, are typical of what they heard in the womb, and it easies them so they go back to sleep.
2007-02-27 05:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by dynamite136 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Ferver method. It's all about teaching them to self sooth.
2007-02-27 05:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋