how can I persuade my 13 yr old daughter to have an abortion?

Answer 1

Oh God. How to persuade her to murder your Grandchild. Hmmm. I'm going to have to get back to you on that one. All I can say is please DON'T.

Answer 2

The issue here is how did a 13 year old get to this impasse?

Instead of happily preparing to enjoy her high school years, she is preparing to be a mom or be a mom of a former child.

People have made some good and interesting points.
But no one has asked why do you want her to have an abortion? Social standing? Finances? For appearances sake? Why?

People have been pretty harsh in the pro-choice/abortion arena. None of that is an issue when it's your child your family. Are you prepared to live with your child's feelings about you if you force her hand? Have you considered your options in helping her keep her baby? have you discussed anything with her? Or are you making the decision without considering her wishes?

What you are doing is trying to close the barn door after the horse has run away. Too late. The time to act was before she became pregnant. Since the time for constructive, preventive informative talks have passed, you have to be sure that what you decide doesn't cost you your relationship with your child.

I would proceed with caution on this one.

Unless the time to do things your way will pass soon, you and your child should talk, a lot. You have to been calm, empathic, sympathetic, and prepared to listen with your heart and ears. The best thing to do would be to reach a decison together, but I wouldn't force her.

However, everyone has to do things the way they see best, and be prepared to accept the consequences. This includes your daughter.

I hope you think having a baby in the house will be a blessing, not a burden. I hope you will be there for your child, to support her and encourage her to explore her options thouroughly, and then make a decison, whether she agrees with your decision or you agree with hers. She needs you.

I'm for the baby. Abortions tend to come with unexpected health problems afterwards. Not all the time, but often enough. A pregnancy in one so young has risks, but a skilled, competent, caring doctor will be a big help. If he is patient and willing to talk, she can have many of her questions answered.

I'm sorry this happened in your lives. But what's done is done.
Hopefully you two will come to terms in a few weeks, whatever the decision.

God bless you.
Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I had an abortion when I was 13. I knew everything (or so I thought) but when I found out i was pregnant i was petrified. Your daughter doesn't need you to 'make' her have an abortion she needs you to hug her. You need to have a talk with her and maybe even have a look round at some nurseries the baby could go to while your daughter finishes her education (if she is thinking about keeping the baby)
She needs love and support
She needs her mom to do what she wants really. I told my mom I would run away if she told my dad i was pregnant, and i completely meant it. Til this day she has never told my dad.
I'm sorry this is happening to you because no matter what some people may say this is going to change your life as well. However the main concern is your daughter right now. Support her and agree to be happy with whatever decision she makes.
All i will say is tho, if she doesn't want to keep the baby then....
(1) The less people who know the better (inc her friends)
(2) Book an abortion asap. If you leave it too late she may have to 'give birth'

Sorry about that last one but its true and you really don't want her to go thru that. Trust me.
Good luck and remember things wil get better. x x x

Answer 4

no matter how much persuading you do if your daughters mind is set on keeping her baby then she will, all you can do is sit her down and talk to her (which am sure you already have) let her know that this isnt going to be a walk in the park and is a life long responsibility. I was 17 when I first fell pregnant and all though I was 4 years older then what your daughter is now I still to this day feel I was too young (I am now 24 with 2 children and I love them both with my whole heart) but if I had known what I know now things would be so much different, the main thing affecting me was that I lost my friends through it - they were doing what I should have been doing while I was at home being mum.

maybe if you know a young person who has had a baby that can talk to her - but please let her make her own mind up and not have an abortion because you think it is best - because if she does it could mess her up for the rest of her life

Answer 5

Mmm, persuade is used very loosely here, The only thing that you as parent can do is support your child, and let her know all her choices with her pregnancy for her to make her decision , I know 13 is really really young and she will need lots of help, I don't know where you live but most places have good health visitors and family support if you shout loud enough to get it. If you push for an abortion against her wishes you are heading for problems, take a look at some statistics in regards to Young girls and abortions, most of them get pregnant again within 18 mths, shocking I know but its a fact!. I don't envy you your position, very tough, but it happens all the time and it has happened to your family, cant change it. I always think its a baby a new life. you will all love it when it gets here. If your daughter does make the decision to not have it , there is counseling out there make sure she gets it, but she might have a long wait. I wish you both luck. And when its all over take her to family planning, also make sure the father takes responsibility , they walk away to lightly from these situations with girls this age.

Answer 6

Of course it makes sense that you want to persuade her to have an abortion, and I know I would have the same question.

First, I do agree with a previous answer that you should take the girl to the doctor and ascertain whether that doctor says she can even bring a pregnancy to term or not. If the doctor says she can't, explain to the girl that the surgery is for her health and in her best interests. Feel free to provide her with the safety statistics between abortions and deliveries; at her age, they're very weighted toward abortion being safer.

If the doctor says it's medically acceptable risk, then bring your daughter to see as many deliveries as possible as quickly together as possible. Bring her to daycares, pediatrics wards, anywhere where parenting isn't a Hallmark commercial or a family cellphone plan ad. Explain to her that if she has this baby, the baby's father's family will have actual say in her life. She will lose everything about being a child that she really should have to make her into a well-rounded adult because every waking moment will be about that infant.

I also advise against adoption. This will certainly horrify other people, but many of the people I know who were adopted were horribly abused or they were severely traumatized by that aspect of their lives. Furthermore, your daughter will almost certainly balk at the last minute.

I am fully aware that this must be a horrendous choice for you. Please accept my best wishes as you get through it.

Answer 7

simple answer: YOU CAN'T.
No matter whether it's the 'right' or 'wrong' thing to do in this situation it is ultimately her decision. If you push her into it she may resent you for the rest of her life. An abortion is a huge, traumatic, extremely distressing experience for anyone to go through (granted, so is a baby!), you cannot force that on someone; irrespective of their age/situation. It's not ideal that a 13 year old girl is pregnant; and I admit that if I had a 13 year old who got pregnant I wouldn't be too pleased, but I would support her whatever her decision was...and it would be HER decision. The best thing you can do for her now is to talk her through her options (like you would to an adult - don't patronise) and tell her that you are there for her...NO MATTER WHAT HER DECISION.

Answer 8

Right i am writing as a girl who was forced to have an abortion. Okay no she may be 13 right but she is carrying a life an it will be born beautiful and will be of you flesh. An abortion will scar her emtionally for life. Ill explain why not matter what the age she knows this life inside her is there that attached is strong the hormones are pumping around her body this is a child with a child you daughter is you baby and now they are both yours to care for. You may thing you are proceting you daughter from alot of social problems or you yourself are ashamed but this is your childs body. This may cause her future health prolems not to mention your relationship and the trust. This will be hard but i have a baby at 17 my 2nd pregnancy and your daughter will one day have another child and the pain and hurt she feel when the due date comes round, 1st 2nd and 18th birthday dont believe that is wont haunt her it does for me and always will. When this baby is born you will have nothing but love for that child beleive me do the right thing stand by your daughter and dont persuade her into anything

Answer 9

I think there are some situations in which abortion is okay - for example, if the pregnancy would be dangerous for the mother or child, if the mother was sick, if the child was conceived through rape or abuse... those are the circumstances in which abortion is morally acceptable. Otherwise, you are killing your own grandchild.

I'm a teen mom-to-be myself. I know that there can be some truly amazing teen mothers out there. However, thirteen is pretty young. At that age, I think adoption would be the best solution.

As much as you might want to pressure her into having an abortion or even an adoption, if she is not comfortable with the decision, it will haunt her for the rest of her life! The best thing you can do is to let her do some thinking by herself and then have her make a decision. As her parent, you should truly stand behind her, no matter what she does. In time, you will come to love and support your new grandchild.

If it helps you, look at one of the first questions I asked (click on my profile) about whether I should give my twins up for adoption or keep them. It may help you reach a decision.

I wish you, your daughter, and your unborn grandchild the best of luck.

Answer 10

I don't think you can or should. Would you kill your child?? That's horrible. There are other options such as adoption, but I was also a very very young mother and here I am 26 and still alive with now 3 healthy and beautiful children. (And I am married and very happy by the way!) I can't imagine what it would have been like if my mother had tried to persuade me to abort...which she would have never done by the way. Your daughter made a poor choice, but along with those choices come responsibilities. So you want to encourage her to take the easy way out and never be accountable for her actions?! Ouch!

Answer 11

first of all ignore all the anti abortion lines from people its so sad that wee girls are bringing up baby's when they are baby's themselves i personally don't agree on abortion to a certain extent but at 13 she will not ruin her own life but most likely her child's at the end of the day how can a 13 year old provide for a child by the time she wants to start going to clubs and pubs she will have a child in school you have to sit her down and make sure she knows that this is it this is where her life is put on hold for quite some time no going out with friends whenever she wants etc but if she is determined to go threw with it just be a mum and be there for her she is going to need you more than ever i was pregnant at 17 i kept my baby as it was the right thing for me to do at the time and i have no regrets but my personal situation is very different i hope things whatever happens goes well