Does this lifestyle sound healthy?

Question

This might be the most dullest question you've ever answered but please advise if you can. I recently moved with my husband to N. Carolina (from California) though originially I'm from Europe.
I don't work, I study (sometimes, in between yahoo Q&A). My husband has a good job and we've a nice house, two dogs. As I've just moved I hardly know anyone but am getting back into my voilin and playing again.
Don't really have to work I guess, but that's not the point. I get bored and want to have a purpose each morning other than feeding the dogs. My husband's very attractive, any woman would think he's a cutie. But all he ever does is computer work, after work, on weekends while I watch tv downstairs. Our sex life is non-existent. I watch some "movies" (shall we say) and enjoy it on my own. I know he wants more and he probably thinks its me but I want him to be more sexy. Even the dogs sleep in between us!
Would you enjoy living my life? Advice greatly appreciated.

Rarely have sex. It seems more of a chore than a hobby. I do love him though. No question. Not working may sound fun,but it has its downsides too.

Answer 1

You are married and you are having problems...Please don't have a baby, that won't help.

What you need to do is get you husband to turn off his computer and have a discussion, about the things that are bothering you, and ask him, what bothers him.

Don't try to ease into this, bring everything out, no yelling, or arguing, just state opinions on your feelings, state what you would like changed, state how this might be possible.

Listen to his statements of his feelings of his life as well. Don't let this become an argument with "Fault" put on the other person.
It is supposed to be an exchange of feelings and ideas.

Good luck

Answer 2

First do some voluntary work with your church or hospital. This will give you a purpose for getting up, and help you feel needed. Second keep the dogs out of the bedroom. You need to open up to him about your sex life, together. Why not go into his computer room and see what he does. Walk in with a very skimpy out fit or nothing at all own. If he can still not want you then their is something wrong with him.

Answer 3

You don't have to work to do something, you could always volunteer, it can be very fulfilling and rewarding for the emptiness you may feel by just being home. Getting a part time job gets you out there to talk with others and feel like you are a part of something.
As far as the sex problems, I am sorry. There may be more than just wanting him to be sexy for her. Perhaps you feel resentment towards him for some reason, like because he is working so much? It doesn't take much to equate our feelings with pushing him away for sex. If we feel bitterness in anyway, we will not want to be romantic. It sounds like you need to open up the communication with him, or seek counseling to get things out in the open?
Much luck to you....

Answer 4

Why not do something nice and special for when he comes home from work one night since you have time to do it. Make a nice candlelight dinner and have a romantic evening with no tv and no computer....try music instead. He will be surprised and I think you'll be surprised at how good it makes you both feel. It sounds like you just need to work on being closer to each other.Make the first move.

Answer 5

As far as your lifestyle, be glad you don't have to work. I hate it. If you need a purpose, maybe you could talk about starting a family? Or at the most get a part-time job, not a full-time.

You need to expand some on your sex life- do you NEVER have sex? Do you approach him? If you do, does he turn you down?

EDIT: If he's working all the time, maybe he's stressed out. I get that way sometimes. Try talking to him and if that doesnt work go to counseling.

Answer 6

You seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Maybe you should have an affair with a young and discreet stud.