i have been married 12yr, the girl at work gets fired and after the fact she and i get involved romanticly, shes in a bad relation and lets say my other half is not exactly my best friend any more, we're living in an empty shell, i have 3 kids so its harder to break away than u think, the stress is killing me
2007-02-27 03:38:41 · 32 answers · asked by Commander 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY'S DOGGING YOU AND I FEEL BAD FOR YOU, I REALLY DO. I'VE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION MANY A TIME.
I THINK IN THIS SITUATION YOU NEED TO TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FROM YOUR LIFE. DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE KNOWING THAT NOTHING CHANGES AND EVENTUALLY ONCE THE KIDS ARE GONE YOU WILL DIVORCE. OR DO YOU WANT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU CHOSE ANOTHER WOMAN OVER YOUR FAMILY? BECAUSE THAT'S HOW PEOPLE WILL SEE IT.
ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THAT DECISION BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.
IF YOU ARE HAPPY SEEING THIS OTHER WOMAN, KEEP SEEING HER AND STAY MARRIED AND JUST SEE HOW THINGS GO FOR AWHILE. WHO SAYS YOU HAVE TO GET DIVORCED RIGHT AWAY?
2007-02-27 04:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of All, you should NOT be cheating on your wife!! Second maybe the reason your wife is not your best friend anymore is because you are sharing your life with another now, when it should be your wife you are sharing yourself with. I am sure you have a good Wife at home and Mother to your 3 children. If you can not be Faithfull to her and your children, then you need to get the H*** out. Maybe the reason your Mistress is in such a bad relationship is because she cheats on her significant other with Married men!!! Do your wife and kids a favor and move on. I am sure there is a good man out there some where, who can be a good husband to her and Father to your Kids!!
2007-02-27 03:57:23 · answer #2 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think it's hard now, wait till you're with this woman from the office without half your income, your house and only seeing your kids occasionally.
Let's face it....you two have enough chemistry to fill up a few hours of the day (and a lot of that is because there is the excitement value) but you don't have what it takes to have a real relationship (look at what a great job you're both doing in your respective relationships....).
Drop the mistress, and start imagining your wife in her role. Treat your wife with the excitement, tenderness and thoughtfulness that you shower on this other, less deserving creature.
I would be surprised if you wrote me back in 6 months saying that your wife wasn't responsive.
2007-02-27 03:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
why not stop one relationship before starting another? not to mention the fact your married and she is in a relationship also.regardless of your happiness you owe your wife the truth and respect. she cant be happy either. you have 3 kids with this women. i'm not saying you need to stay with someone just because your married. but you do owe that person the mother of your children the truth, preferably before the affair! the stress maybe killing you because you know your wrong. break down the entire situation- your married, she's in a relationship! your both cheating. if you choose the mistress would you be able to trust her? she cheated with you. could she trust you? you were married! in my oppion any women who goes for a married man in any situation has very little self respect that's why she's in a bad relationship now . no self worth. your just as bad! the person i feel sorry for are the wife and kids. crap or get off the pot!
2007-02-27 04:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I advise you to totally forget about the mistress, don't even call her, nor talk to her, just get her out of ur head. Just remove her from ur mind. it may be hard now, but as long as you keep going at it, it will become harder and harder to make that decision, it might even be too late.
U have a family a wife and kids. This is not about u anymore. Try to remember the things u liked in ur wife before u married her, rekindle ur relationship.
If you continue fooling around you will loose SOOOOO much.
everything may seem ok now with ur mistress, the romantic relationship and all,
but what if u end up later on in the future & say the same things ur saying on ur wfe on ur mistress.
She may not be as (beautiful, funny, ...) whatever ur seeing her in the future. by then ur wife will not look at you.
think about ur kids, man.
ur playing with fire if you continue.
2007-02-27 04:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by invalidalpha 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Both you & your mistress need to make some decisions. Is your fling just sexual? Do you actually love this girl & does she love you? You have kids, but don't stay living w/your wife & still seeing the other girl. Maybe your wife isn't your best friend anymore because youre stepping out on her, consider that. Make a decision quickly. Both of you. How does the other guy feel about you seeing his lady?
2007-02-27 03:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by fdrsnail 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not right to call your kids and wife an "empty shell".
They deserve better.
If your so easily excited and get yourself involved with other women while your married, then your the one who brought the empty shell to the marriage in the first place.
You should be ashamed of yourself, instead of wanting others to point you to a damned mistress!
Divorce the wife, so your no longer making your whole family live in shame of your decete
2007-02-27 03:44:18 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry your stressed but I guess that's why marriage is meant to involve just the two people as oppose to a extra few 'just in case'. Grow up, talk to your wife and then maybe you could try to sort things out....for your wife and kids sake if not for your own.
2007-02-27 03:45:19 · answer #8 · answered by aza 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK what is easier.....having your wife find out about your affair...getting the kids, house, child support, possibly alimony....suing your GF for alienation of affection...there goes her money, and chances she will get full custody of the children. Or just saving your self and your GF a great deal of money....stop the affair....see how things get between you and your wife...they may get better without the GF.....if not then without your GF involved in you life....you can make a decision on whether or not to separate and then divorce.....You have to know this....either way.....this will affect your children either way....because if your wife finds out about your affair.....all hell is going to hit the fan whether the kids are around or not....they are going to know.....and you will be trash in their eyes....and all they will know is that you hurt THEIR mom......So if you really love those kids....you will not have this affair and risk those kids seeing their mom hurt in that way....that is one sure fine way to forever lose your kids, and you will have no one to blame but yourself.
2007-02-27 03:48:19 · answer #9 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why Why Why are you screwing around? There is NO excuse for this! If you and your wife are having problems then you should have gotton out BEFORE you strarted screwing around. I don't feel sorry for you. You put yourself in this stupid situation. If you realy stopped to think about it, your relationship wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for the other women so quit using that for an excuse. The only thing you can do here is quit screwing around, hope your wife doesn't find out, put your wee wee back in your pants and be a respectable acting man. For God's sake you are a father. It is not about YOU anymore!
2007-02-27 03:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by Jewells 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋