I have been divorced for a year & 1/2 & still have alot of hate for him. I loved this man very much but I can't seem to get over the things he did to me & the kids. In a matter of 3 months I found out that my mom had lung cancer, the next month my 5 year old nephew died, 2 weeks later my husband of 17 years wanted a divorce & just live together. He said my health was costing him 2 much. I refused & he said that he was going 2 get a divorce anyway. On July 5th he moved out. 1 week later he filed 4 divorce. I begged him to see a marriage councelor & he said no. 2 make a long story short 2 days after the divorce the kids & I cought him in bed with a woman old enough to be his mother. I will never forget the hurt on the kids faces that night . My daughter hates him & wants 2 go 2 court & tell the judge she wants nothing to do with him, but my son wants me 2 be his friend. How? My son is in a mental hospital all this was 2 much 4 him 2 handle, so how do I forgive all this?
2007-02-27 03:37:58 · 11 answers · asked by Shery W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Allow yourself to be human! You have experienced more hurt in a short period of time, than most people do in a lifetime.I hate to say this, but I despise the guy too, for what he did to you and the kids.....and I don't even know him. You can't think you're going to get over this any time soon....but with time, you will hurt less, and be able to forgive and move on. Good Luck!!
2007-02-27 03:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I had such deep-seeded hatered and resentment for my ex that I thought I'd never get over it. I found the book "The proper care and feeding of husbands" and read it with the intent of being a better wife to my new husband.
Surprise, surprise what I found in the book was inner peace from the hostile feelings I had for my ex.
I highly recommend this book to any woman who's been through a divorce. Learning one or two things you could've done differently alleviates the amount of blame you place on him, and therefore your anger disapates.
I wish you the best of luck in your healing process.
2007-02-27 03:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You "forgive" him by moving on with your life and knowing something good and better for you is up the road. It's going to be challenging, but now is the time to be good to yourself. Stop and smell the roses. There's NO ONE to tell you what to do and not do. Go get healthy, get in shape, live life the way you have always wanted to. Enjoy a good book. Get a mocha in a coffee shop. Help your kids get thru this by being a great fun happy mom. Go on weekends trips with them. Be there for them, listen to them. The best "revenge" right now is to be happy, contented, and successful in all that you do. Forgive him? Forget him! Don't spend another second thinking of someone so worthless.
2007-02-27 03:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of that husband should not be acquaintances with ex's in any respect. they dont could be acquaintances with their ex in basic terms because of babies they might in basic terms be civil. i made it very straightforward and sparkling to my husband that he won't be chatting along with his ex till it extremely is approximately their 15 12 months previous daughter and if i catch in it is going to be hardship for him. his ex ought to certainly no longer get alongside anyhow much less have a great communication approximately their daughter. she is alway turner that woman against her father. human beings shouuld no longer pass on in the event that they're nevertheless having relatives with their ex. it is not truthful to the third occasion and the third occasion is often the harmless ones till the are a mistress and broke up someones marriage or dating. individually i cant stand ex's that may not bypass away. I even have been an ex that does no longer bypass away 4 years in the past till now meet my husband and that i got here upon it to do no solid if that man or woman doesnt desire you anymore.
2016-11-26 02:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your choice. Sometimes you just need to let go of things. I know easy said than done. But I've learned from this. I have had a lot happen in my life. I have never forgiven the people that have done me wrong especially my father. Believe me what he did was terrible and he spent 7 years in jail. I have never spoken to him since but, don't hate him. I had to just let it go it was doing nothing for me. But holding on to the hatred in NOT good for you and your children. Get intensive counseling for yourself. You have to be there for your children. Do NOT discuss their dad with your children this could only end up blowing up in your face in the future. Remember this is their father and in the future they will forgive them and it could be you they end up disliking. Only discuss with your friends and counselor what is eating you up inside about your ex. You've had a lot put on your plate. Look into talking to your doctor about anti-depressants. If you don't want to do that start looking into doing things for yourself. I think it's time you had some "me" time. Also by holding onto this hatred your showing this person that you've allowed them to get the best of you. Move on and give yourself some happiness.
2007-02-27 03:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter the hate you feel for your ex -- your children should NOT see/hear/feel that hate you feel for their father. You need to step up and realize that your hate for your ex is hurting your family. Yes, that all sounds very painful, and I'm sorry you had to go through such a horrible chain of events. BUT you need to see that wallowing in self-pity is not setting a good example for your children. I'm not saying you need to forgive and forget, but you have children that need to be raised in the presence (if they so choose) of both their parents. In order to do this, you as a parent need to communicate with him as a parent. As long as he is not a threat to their health -- especially if your son wants to still be in his life -- you need to swallow your pride and show your son that you can be a strong woman who can see past her own feelings to better the lives of her children.
2007-02-27 03:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by stargazergirl1 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Stay your distance from him, forgive him, say your prayers to God and let Him know that His blessings would be appreciated in giving you and your kids peace of mind from all that's happened in the recent time. He will do this if you're sincere. Don't let your EX continue to take your life, he won't miss a beat in his happiness, just cost you yours. Wish you luck!
2007-02-27 04:12:01 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u do not necessarily have to forgive but to simply move on...do not dwell on the past....look forward and toward the future...this man was not worth your time or effort...and u are better off without him....and as for who he sleeps with...u are divorced and THIS IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS....
Move on...for your childrens sake...move on...move forward...and forget about him
2007-02-27 03:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that he is a human with pig-like qualities. He deserved to be hated.
You don't have to like him. There is no such rule.
Get as happy as you can with other people and other parts of your life.
2007-02-27 03:52:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well he caused your son to land in a mental hospital if i were you id never speak to your ex again
2007-03-02 13:19:22 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋