I am recently divorced and just started dating again. This is not the first woman I have dated since the divorce but I met a woman at church and we have been out 3 times now and talk everyother day or so either by email, phone, or text message. This weekend I text'd her that I think about her a lot and she wrote back that she thinks about me "a lot" too and enjoys my company "a lot". I am finding myself liking this woman a little too much almost to the point were I don't trust my own instincts. I feel we have hit it off so well that I am scared to mess it up because of any of my baggage, insecurities, or trust issues that I am bringing along from the divorce. My question is, is it unhealthy or not normal to like a woman so much and think about her all the time after only really knowing her a month or so?!? Thanks!!
2007-02-27 03:23:35 · 7 answers · asked by fedup 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, in some ways it is unhealthy. When we find ourselves falling in love to fast it can only lead to something that will not last, not to say there are the few that it has. But after a divorce we want someone again to love and with rebound love it usually never works. Try cutting down the time you two talk and see if that works, or talk about your feelings honestly with her to get her reaction, plus your worried about your baggage have you gave any thought about how much she may be carrying? Give it time, if it is meant to be then you will be together, but if we hurry a relationship most of the time it is because we are scared.
2007-02-27 03:30:36 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not totally unhealthy but a little fast since you are just recently divorced and are on the rebound. Slow things way down and just do light and friendly dates for now, Work on your life and past and seek counseling and help for it before commiting to anyone again. Usually relationships from rebounds do not usually last or work out. Make sure this is the right woman for you and your life as well and do not rush into anything too fast is all i am saying. If she is in fact the right one for you to love and be with she will still be there for you even a year or so down the road. You are right about not wanting to bring the baggage of the past into your new relationship.
2007-02-27 11:53:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't mistrust your instincts so much. I divorced my first wife after 14 1/2 years of hell and two acts of her infidelity. I met my second wife and after spending just three weeks constantly with her, I knew she was the one I was meant to be with(she admitted she felt the same way). We were married four months later and I had almost 16 years of the happiest life I could ever hope to have until losing her to cancer. I have never regretted trusting my heart to take her as my wife. I believe in what has been said time and again, that we all have one person out there that is our perfect soul mate. If you truly believe in your hearts that you have that kind of love and commitment for each other, don't take the chance of losing what may be the only opportunity in your life to find the happiness that I did.
2007-02-27 11:43:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're moving in too fast, and you're going to miss potential red flags (character issues) if you don't slow things down a bit.
This is your happiness you are treating like a crap shoot.
Slow things down. There's nothing to be insecure about if you proceed with reasonable caution and are prepared to cut her loose if she's a flake.
2007-02-27 11:29:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's only natural....you're lonely, hurt, and want to be loved. She is obviously very attracted to you as well. It can be a good thing, but only if you take it slow and easy. It can be unhealthy, if you rush in too fast. Get to know her better....see her when she's "up", and "down".....just keep your heart in tow. Have fun, but don't gett TOO serious, too soon.Good Luck!!
2007-02-27 11:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal in a way...................but one should try and pace themselves. Maybe your just seeing alot you were missing in your marriage?
I know for a fact my bf is still in love with his ex gf and he just got a divorce from his ex wife. I've planted myself here, knowing these things, and I'm supposeably the one ruining the relationship, beccause I know he's still in love with the last one.
GO FOR IT! IF she's thinking of you and you her, BE HAPPY! We only live once. Just don't rush off to the alter just yet.
2007-02-27 11:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's called infatuation.
Here's a thought... whenever you have questions about this relationship pretend that it is your son asking you for advice. And if you are honest about your answers then follow you own good advice.
2007-02-27 11:30:22 · answer #7 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋