would you date him hoping to become attracted to him or what would you do?
I met this guy and he's a christian like myself...we both are serious about our christianity..he really likes me and thinks I'm his future wife...I think he's a great guy, has excellent values and he cares a lot about where his spiritual life is heading...overall a great guy...except that physically I don't find him attractive... I feel bad about this. I don't want to seem superficial but shouldn't there be physical attraction in a relationship too?? Doesn't that matter? what would you do?
2007-02-27 03:18:15 · 21 answers · asked by Mary S 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
My husband is not the kind of guy in the looks department I ever thought I would be with....but his heart is what I fell in love with...and that makes him beautiful to me...
I would love him of he had one eye, no nose, no hair, one leg, anything...I love "him"...not what he looks like...
2007-02-27 03:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by Toots 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Physical attraction does matter a great deal, but a person's physical attractiveness can change. I see a lot of fat young mothers at Wal-mart, and I'll bet you they didn't look like that when they got married.
More importantly, love can grow as you know someone better and he treats you with kindness and respect, and those things you find unattractive now might later become his most endearing qualities.
However, if love doesn't blossom into full bloom, the relationship is probably not going to work, and later on you will both feel cheated. So make sure he's the man of your life before you say "I do".
Don't ever settle just to get married. Continue in your own growth. Become educated and independent. That will put you in a position to wait for the man of your dreams.
2007-02-27 03:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been dating this guy?
I've always found that once I liked a guy (whether I found him attractive before or not), I found him attractive.
You are not superficial--you are being honest. If you were superficial, you wouldn't even consider him in the first place. Physical attraction does matter--but not as much as qualities.
So, I would say--date him for a while.. If after a while, you still cannot find him attractive, there has to be a reason.
2007-02-27 03:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's attraction that gets people together, but the person's unique qualities which keep you together. Which means that both are necessary for any normal, healthy relationship. That said, do you thing 80yr old couples who are madly in love find each other physically attractive?
The answer is yes they do. The more time you spend with someone, loving that person for all of their good points, the more beautiful they become.
That said, don't go rushing in for the wrong reasons. Not finding someone physically attractive can be a subconscious response to a niggling reservation about that person.
Good luck
2007-02-27 03:28:19 · answer #4 · answered by Tony W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that I'm not especially physically attracted to and yet I sometimes find him irresistable- the things he says, his intelligence, his kindness, the way he looks at me sometimes. Yes physical attraction is important, however this seems like you dont feel the same way about him physical or otherwise and thats OK! You can care about someone, you can like someone, hell you can even love someone and not be IN love with them. If you really feel a connection with this guy then find the attraction in his actions, his beliefs, but dont- please dont- be with him just because you think he has everything you want. Then again, it could just be a matter of how he dresses or that there is something that is holding you back emotionally. Think about what you want. Its OK if you dont want him.
2007-02-27 04:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by orange blossom honey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is physically repellent to you, then I'd say that it was simply not a possibility, but if it is merely a question of not being immediately attracted physically to him, then my advice would be to date him, making it clear to him that you are not ready yet to make a firm commitment, but that you would like the opportunity to know him better. Love is something which can occur gradually and what you have in common is far more important than a superficial physical attraction with no real basis to it.
2007-02-27 03:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by Doethineb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on the type of person you are! what's more important to you values or physical attractions? On one had some may say if the values are what your looking for then you seem to know you've found what you want. On the other hand you two are not married if you feel you can do better then you should. it's not right to let him think and feel things about you ( being honest and open with you) and on the inside your not being honest with yourself or him...like i said in the beginning it depends on the type of person you are....hey what would jesus do?! good luck
2007-02-27 05:19:07 · answer #7 · answered by da_fuzizi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand, the idea of attraction is all about you, not about him. We are attracted to people and situations for the sole pupose of learning life's lessons. Only wise people become involved in relationships or situations which they know will result in growth, however difficult the process. The rest of us respond to attraction. Anyone having experienced this dynamic can tell you that what appears so appealling will have its inevitable lessons. That does not mean you should avoid or become involved. The choice is still yours. It does help however, to be aware of these dynamics.
2007-02-27 05:37:33 · answer #8 · answered by stedyedy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this question depends on you as an individual. To me lust is usually associated with the physical and love with the individual (the soul). Usually people will not even consider someone who they are not attracted to because of they're ego. If you are interested in just meaningless sex than obviously he is not for you. How ever if you long for a meaningful relationship you might want to give him a shot. Because if it is a relationship you deisre, his body is not what you will fall in love with.
2007-02-27 04:27:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
as you age you well not find this important .you both well end up looking old and raged .if your lucky to live that long .i believe you can find happiness in a relationship without the pretty factor but as a woman i wonder if you well ever feel true love for this man .you have not found your mate girl keep looking .with out the ya baby weather because of the fantastic why he makes you fell or his looks something needs to be there .you respect this man but i don't here any love for the man ..
2007-02-27 03:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i always have to be physically attracted to my partner in some way. it doesn't matter as much as everything else, but i still have to be attracted to them in some way.
i think we are all like that, no matter what people say. i think if everything is perfect except physical attraction you should at least try it out for a few more months and see if it really is going to work. if not, just find someone new :)
2007-02-27 03:25:57 · answer #11 · answered by asphyxia derailed 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋