thirteen years because of some mean things that her husband said to me and that she did not argue him on. He said that I was a lousy mother, friend, and student and not worth their time. She did not defend me at all. It hurt my feelings very deeply. About two weeks ago, she wrote me to wish me a happy birthday and said she was sorry that things happened the way that they did. I was shocked to say the least. We both admitted that we missed out old friendship. Her latest email stated that she wanted to be friends again, but that I would need to tell her that I respect her marriage and her husband. That is what I am having a problem with. I can not honestly say that this man is worthy of it. He is a loser, a drug addict with a felony background. Yet, I miss the friendship with my old friend. What should I say? What should I do? Please....any advice would be helpful.
2007-02-27 03:12:14 · 5 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You need to tell her that you really care for her and that you want to be her friend and that you will even try hard to keep your comments to her about her husband nice or not at all but you won't say that your going to say you respect her husband and relationship with him. Doesn't mean you can't be respectful when around
2007-02-27 03:20:16 · answer #1 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should try the friendship again. Don't think much of her husband but the least you can do it put up with him. If you guys miss your friendship the become friends again. Maybe things will work out better this time. Try to have fun instead of arguing over the stupidest things. So if you want to be freinds again go for it. Nothing is stoping you. Hoped I helped
2007-02-27 03:22:37 · answer #2 · answered by FHS SENIOR '08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, girl. I've been there and back. I have a friend of 25+ years who hooked up with a similar guy and I tried my best to tell her he was bad news. Well, of course, she didn't listen and is still with the dude. So....I had to decide: is my life more blessed with her in it, or do I even have the right to judge her for who she's in love with and let that interfer with our friendship? In the longrun, I could see I wasn't doing anything but hurting her, so I thought my life was better with her in it. I still don't like the guy, but I tolerate him for her sake. She knows how I feel and I don't say anything negative about him to her anylonger. Occasionally he's included in our social circle, but not very often. I have another dear friend who's husband simply HATES me...I have no idea why!...but we are still friends. She knows how he feels and how I feel, but we don't let that stop us from being friends. We know the boundaries and we stay close friends in spite of his feelings. No since in trying to defend the friendship. I'd say that you should tell your friend you value her friendship and don't want to be without it. Tell her you still feel the same about her husband, but that in the future you will keep your feelings to yourself and respect her private life. And I think you should. Godloveya.
2007-02-27 03:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her husband is a control freak. How can you respect him if he's a jerk? It's her decision to stay married to him, but it's YOUR decision whether you have to put up with him. Tell her that you too would like to maintain the friendship, but that you cannot respect her husband because her husband does not respect you, her, nor the relationship you both have.
2007-02-27 03:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by jimmyjohn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all u have to forgive and forget, and if u are really her friend then u should respect all the things she has interest in. u don't have to talk to her husband but atleast accept who he is. u don't know the things they are going through in their own home, maybe he's trying 2 change.
2007-02-27 03:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by ATLZtaz300 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋