I was with a guy for 2.5yrs. Things have been off and on the entire time. It has always seemed like me chasing him. We split up a few months ago and I have been seeing someone I have been friends with for a couple years. I am so lost at this point b/c....My ex of over two yrs has asked me to go talk to a counselor with him and work out our communication issues. He says hes ready to committ to me and marry me. Hes 31 yrs old...im 24. The other guy is great...we communicate well, hes extremely attractive, has a good job and is fully ready to committ to me. All I have to do is say go. But for some reason no matter how bad things got with my ex I still love him whole heartedly. Like family. I am torn. I could pick the seemingly perfect guy that I know I could have. Or I could stick with my ex and work out our issues. For some reason after this long we still have trouble letting eacother go. We really do love eachother very deeply. But he hurt me very bad multiple times. EEEK! So lost.
2007-02-27 03:09:26 · 12 answers · asked by one 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should not make a decision yet. But before you do think thing through.. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who has hurt you not once but multiple times? What make you think he won't do it again? If communication was an issue then I would say stay away from him. Without communication and trust you have NOTHING! Seems that for his age he really needs to grow up and if 2.5 years wasn't enough time to do so.. then just rethink what you want!
On the other hand NO ONE can tell you who to fall in love with. You choose your path and with who you want to walk it With. Good luck!!!
2007-02-27 03:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by *jA* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is totally up to you but if it were me i would try to work things out with my first guy and see if things improve at all or get better. If after help and counseling things only get worse or no better at all then go for the other guy. I feel the first one deserves a chance though before you completely give up on him. The other guy might not be so perfect either. He just may seem that way right now and you may not have seen him on a bad day yet.
2007-02-27 11:46:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should let them both go.
The new guy has a RIGHT to be with someone that can commit to them wholly and you obviously cannot, as you have not yet let go to the old guy.
There is a reason that it didn't work out with the old guy and you are choosing to overlook that reason.
It appears that you are not yet ready to take on the responsibility that comes with that kind of commitment. This is not meant to be an insult.... you just haven't gotten there yet. Take a look and won't find this kind of problem with women who have matured.
Do yourself and whoever your future mate may be, and take some time to grow up a bit. This is your life were talking about, do it right.
2007-02-27 11:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a no-brainer for me, but then I'm not emotionally involved either. You should go with guy number 2. He has everything you're looking for, he's ready, and best of all, NO baggage from years gone by. Don't waste another year or two trying to revive a "dead" relationship with your ex, only to find out the same problems you had before, keep re-appearing. Move on!! Guy number two is MY choice for you.
2007-02-27 11:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay with the one you are with is my opinion. If you burned yourself on a hot stove would you purposely go back and touch that stove? He's probably just trying to see if you are really over him or not. Don't play mind games with him and miss out on someone great. For some reason females will stay in pain for fear of moving on. Don't hold on to what could be...when you have a great guy in your life now.
2007-02-27 14:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by DaddysGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love how he picked NOW to Suddenly (!) come back.
Do you notice how he's chasing you now that someone else has "caught" you? Suddenly he's hiring a professional and investing in the relationship?
I was taught that men are on their best behavior BEFORE the wedding! WHat's going to happen if you do marry him? Jump into Year 3? Right?
I would pick #2, although it's not fair to lead him along if you're not in love with him.
2007-02-27 12:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but exes are exes for a reason. You have a good thing going, don't give it up for something that might not work-again. Either way, you choose-pick what really feels right in your heart.
2007-02-27 11:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by pixie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a FOOL if you go back to your ex. Why would you want to "work" things out with someone who has mistreated you? Move on with or without this new guy. Bottom line is get rid permantly of this looser ex!
2007-02-27 11:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by Jewells 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget your EX, and stay with the new. You've spent enough time trying to work things out, and it's obvious, that he was your first serious relationship. It's always hard to let go of that first one, but you need to recognize when it's time to let go; it is time!
2007-02-27 11:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by grandm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't let the old boyfriend go you have no right marrying the new guy. To test yourself, never talk to the ex again.
2007-02-27 11:16:21 · answer #10 · answered by lily 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋