My boyfriend of a few years (we live as husband and wife) has changed his affection and attitude toward me since I've gained some weight (about 20 pounds). I'm not happy with it either and am trying to get it off, it's just not that easy once you hit 40. I truly feel as though he's not attracted to me anymore. The passion is not there like it used to be and he's not as affectionate as he used to be. We just got in a fight and he left because I wanted to go out and he didn't. Petty to me, nothing to argue over, but he blew up and left. That was 2 days ago and I haven't heard from him since. I think it was more than the fact that he didn't want to go out, I didn't raise my voice or anything. We used to have a perfect relationship for the most part and always did things together but recently he doesn't want to go with me anywhere. I love him dearly but if my weight is what has changed us, I can eliminate that problem & and get rid of him altogether if he's that shallow!!
2007-02-27 03:01:11 · 7 answers · asked by georgiarose_01 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Society in general has put way too much emphasis on weight and the image of thin is beautiful! It is all too common to look at magazine racks and see all these glamour magazines flooded with skinny models and especially with the Sports Illustraded Swimsuit issue flooding the market everywhere. It's a shame that men needs to revert to this format of beauty. My wife has gained some weight and I see more beauty in her from her acceptance of her weight. If he cannot go out in public and accept you for your own gain, then he has some serious issues. I follow my wife wherever she wishes to go and so should he. He should appreciate you for the person he married, just as I do of my own wife. We marry for the person whom we saw prior to marrying. That is more for the inner beauty than the physical beauty, right? Surely, he has not gotten shallow over the years, has he? You need to figure if there is more than just outer beauty problems or not. Some serious communication needs to be brought up or a counselor is needed to intervene before something drastic arises. I wish you both the best and that answers can be found.
2007-02-27 03:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by indyhype 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's not that shallow, maybe he is, but first you need to examine yourself. I find that a majority of weight issues in relationships is often the person that is gaining it. Hear me out. My wife has put on some pounds in the past few months, but it hasn't really bothered me, except for the fact she is always making comments about it. If you don't like the way you look or feel, do something to change it. One thing that you mentioned makes me believe that it might be the same case with you. "it's just not that easy once you hit 40". Don't make excuses, just attempt to make a change if you're not happy. Don't bring it up, and see if he does. If he does, then that's his problem. If you're not taking care of yourself, that is also another issue. A question to consider: If I'm gaining weight, have I changed something about myself? If you haven't, then just be satisfied with yourself. If you've changed, picked up some bad habits, maybe you should take some time to evaluate some of them. Happiness begins with you, and then you can worry about others. I can give you all the platitudes you want to hear, but it really comes down to how you feel about yourself, or you're not going to be happy, no matter which guy you have hanging on your arm. However, if something that minor causes a huge blowup, then there are bigger issues at work than you just putting on a few pounds.
2007-02-27 12:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by Roger 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Weight by itself shouldn't affect a relationship. My wife has also gained a few pounds but I still love her dearly. He may be having some mid-life crisis issues. I'm 42 and the last couple of years have pretty tough on me. I'm unemployed and the job market and economy around here are terrible. Having my wife supporting me isn't what I want, but we are coping. You need to get him to talk to you, and tell you what's bothering him. If he won't, there's little hope.
2007-02-27 13:02:49 · answer #3 · answered by bugs280 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well hes a disgrace if he has gone because of your weight if he loves you he should still love you even if you have gain a little weight i have a friend who has gained some weight and she also thinks her man doesn't find her attractive anymore but what the hell we are what we are and like you said yourself weight can come off with exercise and if he cant accept this well you need a more understanding man in your life
2007-02-27 11:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by rubberduckiesareus2000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy, but honestly I think he's using your weight gain as an excuse for something else.
Did he *say* it's your weight? Did he imply it? Or is it the only thing you can think of?
If he did imply it or say it, keep in mind that in our society, when people are mad at a woman, they'll say, "Oh, she's fat". Or "that fat (whatever)". One of my guy friends was mad at me, and he implied I was fat, and I'm NOT!!! He's 280, btw. Hello, I'm half his size! Dig deeper, there's other stuff below the surface!
2007-02-27 12:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he is acting that way over that he was liked you for the wrong reasons also if you have been in a relationship that long it wasn't all about looks either you sound like a nice lady I hope the best for you and you shouldn't have to put up with that junk
2007-02-27 11:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
theres got to be something more. than that. i cant see the wieght being an issue. it never bothered me much as a guy. so i dont know what to say there. maybe theres something else u dont know about.
2007-02-27 11:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋