Where do I go from here ? My five year old daughter does not seem to be progressing in her schoolwork?

Question

After the teachers thinking it was dyspraxia she was referred to and ed. psych result came back as normal for her age , she was then referred back to an ed psych who gave the same results. She also saw a sppech therapist previous to this over a course of 6 weeks who said she did not need speech tharapy. Now the school has referred her to an ed. psychologist once again and we are waiting on the lon long waiting list once again. Please please please someone help point em in the right direction. I am at my whitts end. I am also doing extra work with her about 30mins every evening but it really feels like she is not retaining information told to her 5 mins previously . help help help help¬!!!!!!!!!!!

HI just to react to some of the answers , I'd like to reitereate that it is the teachers that have approached us, and not us them. We wasnt worried until they started talking about reffering her to a specialist. We havent pushed her we've just acted on the teachers observations and advice

Answer 1

My middle daughter struggled at school for the first four years. She was happy with her friends, behaved well in class but had not a clue about reading, writing or numbers. She needed speech therapy as she was very poor at some letter sounds. Her school was great with her, praised her every effort and achievement however small - and always found something for her to do. At about eight and a half she somehow clicked! She was desperate to read, write and get on with maths. She caught up very quickly.

Now at 19 she is at uni, has a boy friend and is very happy. give your little one time. Try not to make her feel bad about herself. Tell her she is clever when she does any thing well, dressing herself, tidying her room, eating all her diner anything! If she feels she is clever it will help her to want to learn. We told ours that everyone was clever in a different way and learnt in a different order. So she was clever at being a good friend, drawing and riding her bike with no little wheels! Other kids could not do that, but they could read and write, you need to be good at all of it - children just choose to learn in different orders. They will all get there in the end.

30 mins extra a day seems like a lot to me for a little one, maybe try reducing the time so it is not a chore.

Answer 2

I don't wish to sound mean here so please forgive me if it comes across as being so. I genuinely do not mean it that way. But what is it that you are expecting from her? Are you expecting too much too soon?

I take it that she has moved into year 1 at school, being 5. I do think that there is an awful lot of expectation put on children at a really young age. Young children tend to learn more quickly and retain information more if they learn through play and enjoyment rather than more formal 'work'. Putting pressure on her to improve all the time and setting her unrealistic goals and timeframes is counter-productive and will make her think, 'I'm never going to get there so why bother?'

Perhaps you should have her hearing and sight tested, if you haven't already, to see if they are causing a problem but if these are all OK, I think you perhaps need to let off a little bit and return to this in a few months' time when she is a little bit older and more settled into the proper school routine rather than Reception.

Sorry once again if I offended you. This wasn't my intention. Good luck.

Answer 3

I had a similar experience when my daughter was about the same age. Although she didn't have a problem with speech. She was not interested in any way shape or form with schoolwork, reading, writing or doing any sort of puzzles. I spoke to her teacher at the time and was told not to worry and not to force her. I took the teacher's advice, although me and my husband were worried, to say the least. This carried on for about a year. She suddenly decided that she wanted to learn and she never looked back. I think parents and some teachers put a lot of emphasis on a child's learning capabilities, this makes the child feel inadequate, even at an early age and can do more harm than good. My advice would be to leave it for a few months and see what happens.

Answer 4

Please do not take offence at my suggestion as it obvious that you care and love your daughter very much. My suggestion is that you include in her diet (particularly green vegetables and omega 3 which helps with powers of concentration). The right diet is a very important factor in childs development and often a child can be defecient in certain building block amino acids.

I'm sure you will find a suitable dietary book online or at any good books shops such as waterstones or WH Smiths.

Mu Grandson went through a simiolar period when he was about 51/2 and just by adjusting his diet to include omega 3 and planty of fresh veg and fruit the change is so noticable.

Also my daughter discovered that my Grandson was bored at with the books he was being given at school and so she now spends a good couple of hours a week at the local libray letting her daughter choose the books she wants to look at or read.

He is only just seven but he now has the reading age and comprehension of a 9 year old. Sometimes children need something fire their imagination. One thing she also tried he is never allowed to watch TV until he has done his reading homework each night after his tea and then it is very regulated viewing.

Try not to worry too much as I'm sure your daughter will come along in leaps and bounds after all she is still only a wee one.

One thing of which I am sure you are aware of always keep in touch with the teachers on your daughters progress. I do not know how many children are in your daughters class but if there are more than twenty chances are your daughter is left to her own devises if her learning is not up to speed as the teachers are just too busy looking after high numbers of children in class rooms these days. And when this happens children will switch off if they are not getting the attention they need and then they end up with the attention span of a nat. So give them hassle never mind if they get upset it's your daughter education that is important afterall, not how they feel about you asking questions..

Answer 5

I'm going to go along with the Omega 3 lady - a friends boy couldn't speak (aged two and a few months) within a fortnight this was improving greatly.
The best one (highest EPA/DHA) that I have found is called Eskimo Kids (from health food shop) it is an oil and I mix the right amount into a set jelly every night at bathtime - what a treat!
I make the jelly using a favourite drink (oasis) and something called vegigel (tescos baking department) to avoid the geletine. But it would probably mix with yoghurt okay.
Lots of children will just swallow it anyway - it tastes like bubblegum.

Answer 6

She's only in Kindergarten, where they concentrate on social skills and get the student accustomed to the routine.

All children develop differently and at their own pace. Be careful not to pressure your daughter too much. This may not be something she's doing, it may be that it's just a bit soon for her.

There are some things you may wish to check for, but I don't want to freak you out, so remember, we are just checking.

After a vision and hearing check, you may want to have your daughter screened for ADD and Autism. Both disorders can present dramatic behaviors and/or only subtle ones.

ADD/ADHD can be treated with various medications. Some may be more effective than others on each individual child. It's a surprisingly common diagnosis these days.

My beautiful 8 year old daughter was diagnosed with Autism at 3. She displays a few symptoms like limited diet and minor speech difficulties. There are programs and techniques that you and her teachers can learn if needed. My daughter now gets great grades in a regular 2nd grade class, and enjoys helping her freinds with their math homework. She kicks mathmatical a**.

Just remember, kids want to do the best they can, so she's not doing this on purpose. Don't get frustrated with her.

Also, YOU are the expert on your kid. If you feel like something is going on, then something is probably going on. Don't give up looking for assistance just because you get one or two "she's just not applying herself" type answers.

And finally, talk to her. She may not know it yet, but she has all the answers you're looking for right behind those baby blues.

God Bless you both!

Answer 7

Your going down all the right channels and the extra work you are putting in is fantastic. Unfortunately diagnosing a pupil with any kind of SEN (special educational need) takes forever and is very frustrating for all parties concerned. For the time being all you can do is wait it out for the Ed. Psych to reach a suitable diagnosis.This website may help you to give your daughter extra help: http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/

Answer 8

Speak to your doctor about having her referred to a psychiatrist who can do a series of tests with her to help determine what is going on. She may have A.D.D. or, or any number of other disorders or learning disabilities. She may also simply be distracted because of some sort of emotional upheaval. You can also get a tutor for her. There are professional tutoring associations or you can check with your local university for students that earn extra money by tutoring children. Oftentimes children will accept information from an outsider that they won't accept from a parent. She may be feeling pressure from you when you help her with homework that she may not feel from someone else. Not to say that you are pressuring her, of course, just that children are very sensitive to how their parents view them, and she may be hyper-aware that she is letting you down in some way (at least in her mind) when you are trying to help her.
Try to make sure that you do other things with her that she is good at so that she doesn't become too focused on this one things that is a problem for her. Also point out when you notice her doing or saying something that is smart or observant or funny, etc. Not doing well in school is not an indication of intelligence or lack thereof. Intelligence is displayed in many different ways. Some people are very book-smart while others gain wisdom from life and are more street-smart. Some people are very intelligent when it comes to human relationships and society as a whole, while others are very adept at book learning but are fairly socially inept. Whatever is happening with your daughter she has strengths which can enable her to contribute much to the world.
And finally, she clearly has a parent who loves her and is willing to do whatever it takes to help her, so she will be ok. She's lucky to have you.
Take care.

Answer 9

I understand this must be very stressful on you as a parent, does she seem to be stressed about this as well? If not maybe you can let her continue in her class, then repeat next year. It's really very common at this age and seems to affect parents more traumatically than it does the child.

Or you may want to consider home-schooling or a private school. Home-school would allow you to notice and better utilize her learning styles, her teacher can't do that as well since there are others in class. Sports, playground, & church are among theways to keep her socializing normally if you choose to home-school. Private schools usually have smaller classes and may be a great help as well. If finances are a problem, there are private school scholarships...do a google search.


Best of luck
May God bless your efforts!

Answer 10

I would DEMAND that she be tested immediately for all learning disorders. Don't take no for an answer! She is probably already getting a negative feeling for school if she is having trouble. I would suggest contacting your school board and find out who you can get to do independent testing. Here in Florida, our school system has lists of teachers who are certified and qualified to do testing on children. You could also look in the yellow pages. There may be something there. Have you tried any of those tutoring centers? I don't usually recommend them, however, they my at least be able to assist you in finding out exactly why your daughter is having difficulties retaining info. If it were me, I would go with a private one on one tutor. That may be all she needs! She is only 5. Good luck!