Serious: What age is too old to need a sitter?

Question

She'll be twelve in a couple of weeks. She's a really good kid and very sensible.

At what age is it OK to let them stay alone and for how long?

I didn't want to teach her that being alone is a horrible and fearful thing, so I started letting her stay alone for like 15 minutes, like for a bread and milk run, when she was eight. (I could see the house from where I was.)

Currently, I let her stay home up to an hour. I've let her stay alone for up to two hours, and the neighbor was notified that she was alone, so she still had supervision at a distance.

And I do keep my cell with me.
I work weekends, and she wants to try staying alone. It's for like seven daytime hours, about 15 minutes away.
We live in the country in a very safe neighborhood.

The rules are don't answer the phone or the door. Any calls for her will be on her cell, and if it's not ID'd in "contacts" then she shouldn't answer that either.
The only people who are allowed to come in have a key (My neighbor friend and my brother.) so there's no need to answer the door.
She does cook a little-simple stuff-and there is a fire extinguisher available. Should anything she can't handle come up, or even if she's just lonely, she is to go to the neighbor, who is aware of this plan and has agreed to it. This lady's number is in my daughter's cell.

Answer 1

I would allow her to stay alone. As long as she's responsible and all. Make rules and stick to them. Such as...don't let friends in the house until I get home, etc. Also, if she's going to be cooking, give her some tips and pointers on cooking. But, just set ground rules for your daughter and make sure she's following them. If your really concerned put a numbers list on the refridgerator so that way she'll have easy access to them. Also, inform your neighobors that yes she is infact going to be there alone just so they can help keep a watchful eye. But I started staying alone when I was 11...and I'm still here. :)

Answer 2

I believe twelve is old enough to be left alone. She should have a list of phone numbers by the phone of neighbors, relatives, your cell, and an extra number at which you can be reached. You should tell her what to do if anyone ever tried to break into the house and tell her where to run to if she needs help. By the fuse box you should also give her instructions of what to do if the power goes out. If an emergency arrives make sure to have a friend who will let her stay the night.

Answer 3

Growing up with a brother 2 years youmger than me, my mom let us stay home alone when i was about 10 or 11, as long as we didnt answer the phone, door or go outside. but by the time i was 12, it was just a matter of common sense. She'll be just fine, esepecially if the neighbors are trustworthy and helpful as yours sound. If she can call, and the negihbors are looking out for her, and she's cool with it, and its during the day, that sounds like it's fine, what does she do while your at work if she's not at home?

Answer 4

12

Answer 5

It sounds like she is responsible enough - but my concern would be for how long will she remain a "good girl"? Trust me, that much time alone can lead to trouble. Kids (even teenagers) stay out of trouble when there is at least some adult supervision around. Even if you leave her alone for a few extra hours, or even one day out of the time you are gone would give her more freedom and responsibility, but you don't want a 12 year old having too much freedom. Even good kids make a mistake, and it only takes once for it to impact her life forever. I'm not saying that you shouldn't leave her alone AT ALL - I would just rethink leaving her alone most of the weekend while you are at work.

Answer 6

I don't know.
But, you ask a very good question.
I'll definitely check back to see what everyone says.

We've got a five-year-old boy.
He is wonderful, but nowhere near able to stay home by himself.
I know that someday, we'll be able to leave him home alone...but I don't have a clue as to what age.

I suspect the answer may be more in terms of maturity than actual age.
A lot of kids are just kids...at any age.

But there are some kids that show that they can and are responsible and are capable in difficult situations - like, what to do in case of a fire, a burglary, etc...

Far be it for me to instill fear into you, but your last line (about "safe neighborhood") really doesn't sit well with me.
In today's twisted world, there is no place that is safe from sickos, criminals or even accidents.

Answer 7

I think that it depends on the child. I babysat children from the time I was 9-10 (with my mom or aunt around) and alone from the time I was 11-17. Girls are usually mature by the time they are 12 and can be left alone for short periods of time. I've found that boys are quite a bit less mature and need supervision sometimes until they are 16 (yes really !)

You might want to start leaving her alone for very short periods of time and increasing it accordingly depending upon how she behaves.

Answer 8

For your piece of mind try baby steps. Leave her alone for a couple of hours. See how that works out. I would fear that after 7 hours at work you may be pulling your hair out with worry. Although it sure sounds like she will do fine at home on her own! Just make sure you leave her plenty of emergency numbers and stress locking doors! Perhaps you could actually have the neighbor drop by a few times!
Take Care!

Answer 9

In most states 12 is considered old enough to be home alone by the police. But it sounds like you have handled her training perfectly, she should be very sane and safe home alone for a couple hours in the afternoon. With neighbors informed.

If there are no other children with her, She should be more than safe. I was watching my brothers home alone by 12, but that was 16 years ago.

Answer 10

I think 12 is a good age to leave your kids home alone. She seems like she could handle being home alone, and it sounds like you did a good job of breaking her into being alone. Just make sure she has all emergency info posted by the phone, and keep calling in to check on her.