we have been going thru a few unsetteled issues....I was always the one crying my heart out for 7 yrs, i've never seen him cry over me...until all this week and last...I've told him in the past the when I'm done crying, I'm done...so now I have the I don't care attitude and now he can't stands it and thinks I don't love him....what can I do to assusre him that I still do, but will not go crazy anymore over unresolved issues he and I have..
2007-02-27 01:49:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, well, well. Doesn't he know that what is good for the goose is good for the gander? Now that you have his attention...
When the subject comes up or there is a right moment to bring it up again (not when you're arguing) I would tell him that the reason you're done crying. Whether its because you don't want to hurt anymore, or you're frustrated because you don't know how to get your relationship back to where it once was, whichever. Make sure you have suggestions; counsoling, weekend away, anything that will help you two really be able to hash it all out. Let him know that you don't want to bring any of the issues into your future and want to get everything out so that you can move forward, because you do love him. When you do talk things out, keep calm, hear him out and let him finish his sentance before commenting. His opinion may be wrong to you but it's what he is feeling and nobodys feelings are any less valuable than anyone elses. Getting each others views will help the two of you understand how each other thinks and will help you the next time something happens. You'll be able to take into consideration each other's thought processes.
In the meantime, one of the most important things I have learned to randomly tell a man is that you appreciate him. Tell him that he is everything that you ever hoped to find and more and that you are so grateful that he is in your life. And hugs.... even if he isn't affectionate, hugs or touching his leg or back as he walks by, goes miles.
Good luck.
2007-02-27 02:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by jlonva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Appears as if you have grown to be resentful of the hurts that have made you cry in the past. Being that you went from one extreme from being highly emotional to a do not care attitude is giving him the impression of your resentment and is making him feel the distant between you and him. While it is good that you are done crying, I feel you are done for all the wrong reasons, and that is for resentment. We don't have to cry to show we love someone, but when you come off as too non-emotional then I can understand how your husband can think you do not care. Know one thing, we all need to feel loved and needed, and if you carry on with your no care attitude your husband may find solace in someone else's arms. Be careful not to so resentful of having cried in the past to lead you to be unloving today.
2007-02-27 10:10:05 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a healthy relationship, neither of you should be crying all the time. As for the I don't care attitude, it just doesn't work in relationships. If he is important to you, then set the example and be caring even if he wasn't for you. Don't be a doormat, but by showing love and kindness, he will reciprocate it to you just because you did it for him. Be patient it won't happen overnight but definitely tell him you love him, and that you didn't like the way he treated you when you felt the way he does, and that your not stooping to his level, and if he's smart he'll remember it next time your hurtin'. Good luck to you!
2007-02-27 10:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by Green eyed girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love him? I've been where you are, and when I stopped crying, I left. I'm not suggesting that, but I do hope you know your feelings and aren't just accepting what you think you have to.
That ugliness aside, it sounds like this has gone on for so long, and you're both so deep into the issues that you are lost in them. I would strongly suggest counseling. Otherwise, you're just sweeping the problems under the rug.
Best wishes.
2007-02-27 09:56:40 · answer #4 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every morning we should wake up and be the best spouse we can be. Try to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones! Hug and kiss and tell him how great of a husband he is. Do and say more positive things! Then...go for counselling.
2007-02-27 09:55:32 · answer #5 · answered by altes_jan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're the one who trained him that you're an emotinally unstable person (I mean, who cries for 7 years?!) and now you've gone to the polar opposite of showing no emotion.....
if you really care about him, work to resolve the issues in an adult way.....you're either crying or not showing any emotion....isn't there a happy medium?
2007-02-27 10:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him everyday. The little things say a lot.
2007-02-27 09:55:37 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speak with him from all your heart and be sure that the words come from the heart always go to the heart
2007-02-27 10:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by lopo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up your mind: you love him OR you don't care.
You two sound like a mess to me.
2007-02-27 10:04:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him and show him i mean show him, when my wife shows me she loves me i can tell and im the happiest person on the face of the earth
2007-02-27 09:54:51 · answer #10 · answered by COLTS WILL WIN SUPERBOWL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋