I have this friend who is v nice to me. If I force her for something like hanging out somewhere if she dsnt wanna come she tries to say No but if i force her she agrees to me. She shares everything with me, the only problem is she dsnt hv much time for me as she is busy all the time with some thing. she talks to me when she wants to and says bye to me when she have some work. this hurts me but its my mistake i always showed her that this dsnt effects me bt it actualy does. I mean I talk to her according to her convienence. Is she using me?? I really dnt know what to do. I make her feel she is imporatnt to me bt I dnt know what value or how how much importance she gives me. please tell me how can I figure out what is my value in her life? what she thinks abt me? I am 2yrs older to her,and we both give lots of respect to eachother, does she think that I am v old to her? she has friends of her age I am d only 1 who is older in her group of friends! help
2007-02-27 01:12:05 · 6 answers · asked by Help me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
my guess is no, she's not using you and she does value you. your worried about her doing her work rather than talking to you? i say let it go, maybe her parents are a bit strict or she thinks that she has to get something done or else she wont do it later. also about the whole "forcing her to do stuff". your not forcing her, your convincing her. if she didnt want to do something with you then she wouldent. your two years older than her and you want to have a relationship? well that depends on how old she is. lets talk ages here. if she's 15 er up then she'd probally be fine with having you as a bf because thats when most teens start to have relationships but if she's 14 er younger, she might not know whats she's doing and might not be ready to take any huge jumps. she thinks of you as a friend (maybe more) because she talks to and hangs out with you. if she didnt like you, then she would be completly ignoring you. hope this helped
2007-02-27 09:47:44 · answer #1 · answered by koolpants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force someone into spending time with you, if they don't want to.
Saying that I've been in the same situation with a female friend and this isn't necessarily because of romantic reasons.
I thought my friend was one of the best, I new that she was never very good at making advanced plans or returning/answering calls (unless it was her boyfriend, then she ran to the phone literally) but I forgave this because if I really needed her she dropped everything.
Knowing she was very often busy, I tried making plans with her well in advance but she wouldn't commit this in my opinion was because she wanted to wait and see if anything better came up.
That was 3/4yrs ago she's since fazed out of our friendship and I don't think she considers me a friend anymore.
2007-02-27 04:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by truth_and_time_tells_all 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, this sounds dodgy.
I think you should let her go.
Continue to invite her out, but stop pushing, and let her know that some one has called you a freaking weirdo, to motivate her to make her own input into your relationship.
You asked is she using you? Well it sounds like you might be scaring her into spending time with you, she might be afraid to not spend time with you incase you do something to hurt her. I think if you really like her then you should want to get rid of that kind of possibility. Make sure she isn't afraid of you by easing out of her life, and let her reach out for you, and if she doesn't, then you don't have to be confused anymore, if she doesn't reach out for you, then she doesn't like you.
But if you were doing this to my younger sister, I'd find you and beat the crap out of you, well, probably give you a stern warning to back off, anyway, the point is, that what you've described is quite offensive behaviour.
2007-02-27 01:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by dd_lee123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space and see if she calls you. Only she can let you know how much you mean to her. Maybe you are too forceful to her at times and you are pushing her away. Every person needs space in there life.
2007-02-27 01:24:52 · answer #4 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not "using" you.
But trust me: she does not "like" you the way you like her.
It is very clear from what you wrote that you are romantically inclined toward her, she is NOT toward you, and you are the only one who doesn't understand that.
Don't mean to be unkind....but if a stranger can see this, and you can't, I just felt that some frank talk might be in order.
2007-02-27 01:30:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u seem to be a very possesive guy. your friend has every right to talk to u when it is convinient for her. and so do you. y should she ignore her work because of u?
learn to give her some space yaar. also no one else but she only can tell how important u are for her. so go and ask her.
2007-02-27 01:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by urfriendfrlife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋