basically, me ex is asking what's going on in my life and not in a bad way. We have come to terms with each other and still care a lot for the other. We have two kids together. My question is should I spill the beans about a new romantic interest? I want to tell him cause he's my friend and I'm excited but at what point is that too much information?
2007-02-27 00:56:38 · 22 answers · asked by noonesfool71 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We've been divorced for almost 8 months, officially, longer if you count the 5 month separation. We've been known each other since grade school. He's been a best or good friend more than half my life. It just feels a little weird discussing guys with him. We're just in different stages I guess. He actually is the one who initiated the separation and divorce.
2007-02-27 01:08:43 · update #1
I think it's wonderful that you two have come to terms with your separation, and that you can amicably work together to raise your children.
I also think that you should ask your ex what the range of you answer should be. He may feel that information on your new romance is just too much information.
2007-02-27 01:01:22 · answer #1 · answered by Ariamay 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That can be tricky. I married by best friend 32 years ago. We were great friends and still are but lousy married to each other. Two kids and we were divrced. She is still my best friend in the world and I am hers. She was remarried and widowed after 14 yrs and I remarried and have been for 25. We told each other when we met our partners and each was happy for the other. Neither of us spoke about intimate things or talked about the problems we had with our partners. We agreed on that before we met other people. I tell her just about everything else, though and vise-versa.
I would stick to telling him that you met someone and that you are happy. Leave it there and see his reaction. From a psychological point of view, make sure you don't want to tell him in any bragging way. Even though you are freinds, that still could be. I am not saying it is though. Just think about it. I would be low key, then if he asks more questions tell him what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't share too much beyond the facts unless he presses. It could be hurtful for him, even though that is not the intention.
I hope this helps you and that is a good question.
2007-02-27 09:11:02 · answer #2 · answered by rumbler_12 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only tell him what you feel comfortable telling him. Why tell him about your new love interest, does he really care and if he does why did he want a divorce. It is good that you can talk as friends but I would keep it on a need to know basis and let the rest go. You can be cordial with each other without telling your life story.
2007-02-27 09:17:42 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle W 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you absolutely should not, unless it has to do with your children.
You are just bragging, you are just newly in love and want to share it with the world, but please resist.
The only time I think it's appropriate to tell an ex about a "new" is if they *first* tell you about the new love in *their* life.
Then, you can both share your happiness at finding other people who are enriching your lives.
Otherwise, it is just an unnecessary cruelty.
Even if your kids tell him something about a new man you're dating, just brush it off as if it's a developing friendship. I don't care how "in love" you are. You say "he's my friend and I'm excited" but what sort of rationale is THAT?! That's what girlfriends are for.
Not only is it none of his business, but a truly kind person does not rub someone else's nose in what they don't have.
Be kind.
2007-02-27 09:05:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since you both have decided on a divorce and go separate ways I don't see the need to download your personal life to him. This may causes frictions and troubles. Allow your communications to only the basic pleasantries and nothing more.
2007-02-27 09:01:20 · answer #5 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him you're seeing someone. Don't go into detail. His reaction to that will tell you if he's a friend or still in love. He's bound to find out anyway. It's best that you tell him so he doesn't hear if from somone else.
2007-02-27 09:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by sct442 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe just casually slip it in the conversation while you are talking about other things, like the weather, work, the kids, etc. No reason to go into a lot of detail, just casually mention that you are seeing someone.
2007-02-27 09:00:10 · answer #7 · answered by Harry Taco 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In my opinion, it really, really depends on your relationship w/ your ex.
I think if you are getting along well; such as you both are "friends" then why not tell him.
That is what "friends" do.
On the flip side follow your gut, if you feel at peace telling them...then by all means...spill the beans. : )
Best wishes....
2007-02-27 09:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by Supa' 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you 2 are that comfortable togethere and it's established that you 2 are not going to reunite, it shouln't be a problem.
2007-02-27 09:01:20 · answer #9 · answered by pj 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would think that he would be priviledged to that information.You two have children together and it would be nice to give him peace of mind that the new man in your life is going to be good to the children involved.And if the two of you are friends, then it shouldn't be too difficult.
2007-02-27 09:00:19 · answer #10 · answered by sunkissed299 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋