my bf and i went thru a really tough time, we broke up becos of so many reasons both on my part and his. it was a mutual break up and like any other break ups, it feels so devastating. we have been together for 3 yrs, btw. he wanted us to be friends, he wanted us not to lose our contact with each other. i have been having a very difficult time moving on, dont know where and how to start. it will really kill me if he is going to tell me sooner or later, that he has a new woman in his life. is friendship still possible after a break up? or should i just cut all communication with him?
2007-02-27 00:40:05 · 9 answers · asked by intense35 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
thank u guys for all ur replies. i appreciate it very much. i will keep all ur advices in mind. that way, i will never be wrong again or will think twice b4 doing something. ty for all of ur time. good day!
2007-02-28 01:03:24 · update #1
Wow, I think this is a very good question.
First off, men who say after a break up, "I really do want to be friends...." never really mean it. Men don't really desire to be friends with women, but they want to leave the door open for a booty call now and then.
I think you should cut all ties with this guy, and focus on yourself and healing.
You sound like a good person and you're struggling right now.
You don't need this guy rubbing salt in your wounds and you need closure.
Focus on your life and realize that this guy is not the "end all of it"
You will heal and then you will find a new man.
2007-02-27 00:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by jim 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up (3 months before our wedding), I tried to stay friends too, I figured something was better than nothing, but I ended up getting hurt all over again (it turned into a friends with benefits kind of deal and I couldn't handle it. I was making love, and he was just having sex - it really hurts when you finally realize that). It's been 12 years now and if I saw him today, I still wouldn't be able to talk to him. He hurt me too bad. (I would be able to have a conversation, but it would be awkward at best)
The best thing you can do is cut all ties and go on with your life. Holding onto him will not help you move on. It will keep you tied to him. Let him go.
A couple of years after I let him go, I met the man of my dreams. We have been together for 9 years, married for 8. And we have 2 beautiful kids together. None of that would have been possible if I would have kept my ex in my life.
2007-02-27 01:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be a good idea to agree to give each other some space for a while so that you can get on with your lives. You don't have to cut off all contact forever, but perhaps it would be best to have a bit of a break and agree to meet for coffee in a month or two and catch up.
That way, you won't be thinking about him all the time and might be able to get your life on course without wondering about how his life is going without you.
2007-02-27 00:46:06 · answer #3 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard to stay friends especially if your still finding it hard to move on your self. If there is no reason to stay in contact with him then just walk away. You will only feel worse when you find out he has a new gf.
2007-02-27 00:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by j25d11 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut the communications and this will lessen the pain. Move on with your life. Do something you enjoy most. Time will fly and before you realise it, the pain is no longer there.
2007-02-27 00:44:20 · answer #5 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is very possible to remain friends. That part relies on maturity, I am afraid. A trait few possess. Mutual? Hmmm, more doubtful, as you still harbor a great deal of feelings for this man. Ok, be friends, but that certainly doenst mean you call each other everyday, or make plans to chill on the weekends. Move the hell on, girl. Suck up your emotions, smile... and eventually, whatever he does will mean jack to you. It always does... unless you CHOOSE to remain hung up.
2007-02-27 00:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by Samos 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would have to say its better to cut contact. All you will feel is pain in the short term. Once you get over him, then you could probably be friends.
2007-02-27 00:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by Li 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! I have the same case as your's. She wants us to be friend. Cant stand seeing her with another man since I still feel for her. You will get hurt more as I am now.
2007-02-27 00:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by good-for-all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try keeping in contact with him if you like him but there will always be the temptation of sex with someone in proximity who you are already used to sexually.
2007-02-27 00:44:16 · answer #9 · answered by MTB 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋