We both are not in love with each other but we are great roommates and friends. nothing more. Would you stay or find the love that you need?
2007-02-27 00:13:28 · 29 answers · asked by lookingforanswers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I would not stay in a loveless marriage to benefit my children...because I don't feel it would really benefit them. I want them to see that you should be with someone you love not be with someone because it might make someone else happy.
2007-02-27 00:20:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
why look for the love elsewhere when you can rekindle the love you both once shared. Plz, drop down the pride and change completely your attitude towards your spouse. Use those same methods and techniques you gonna use out there in search of love and win back the love you once had for your spouse. Its that easy!
you can't get love out there by being unfriendly, critical, disrespectful, angry, moody, selfish, unapproachable, uncaring etc. Yo have to wear the opposite of these in other to win a man's heart out there. Dear, that's the same thing in a home/marriage. Don't expect to grow in love with your spouse if you put away those virtues he/she met you with.
marriage requires hard work to make it last and yes for the sake of the kids you need to stay. But why stay in a loveless marriage when you can completely change/transform that marriage. Yes, you can do it, you alone. Your attitude has an enormous effect on your partner. If your loving and caring, he/she won't be able to resist that love and care. That's how we humans are.
All the best!
2007-02-27 00:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was in that position, looking back I do have regrets but I also have two kids that are doing great, they also both have been in loving longterm relationships, one married last year.
My goal was to get them independent, graduated, and able to take care of themselves. Everything was right on track then disaster and love both hit at the same time. Met a wonderful man and my daughter had a severe car accident (hit by a drunk driver) for which she has been recovering from for the last year. My new man stood by me and now with her recovery our plans can move forward.
If I had left when the marriage part of my partnership was over I don't know if my kids would have accomplished as much as they did or if I would have been in a place to be in a healthy, loving relationship. You can't look back, only move forward.
2007-02-27 00:51:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're friends and get on ok and the kids are happy I'd say stay. There's no guarantee that you'll find that great love if you leave and you could get into something a whole lot worse. Keep where you are, maybe your great love will pop out of the woodwork one day. These things happen when you least expect and are not looking.
2007-02-27 00:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't "need" love. Your children do need you.
I would stay in the loveless marriage and I would bring love into it. You have within you the power to change your marriage. Improve your marriage by improving yourself, because you are the only person over whom you have control. Demonstrate to your children how it is possible for a person to achieve happiness without having to rely on looking for it in other partners. Prove to them that a promise ("Until death do you part") means something.
2007-02-27 00:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believed I was in a loveless marriage for our child. We have been in marraige counseling for about a month now and have found this very helpful. You loved each other once and can do that again. I would suggest reading a book entitle "Couples" by Matthew McKay. Good Luck!
2007-02-27 00:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by Elena 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation. My spouse and I became friendlier when we realized our marriage wasn't going to work. We lived in the same house with separate bedrooms and led our own lives like room mates. We shared daily visits about the kids, house, etc. and whatever was going on in our lives (including our new love interests). This worked for about 3 years and then I moved out when I felt my children were old enough. They were 16 and 18. It wasn't a permanent situation but it enabled us to both save money, not split up the family, and ease into a friendlier divorce.
2007-02-27 00:25:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anastasia S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay. Through thick and thin and all of our mistakes and insecurities, our children are not at fault and shouldnt be exposed to that type of relationship. You are great friends and roomates you say. Maybe counseling can work on brining the love back that the two of you obviously shared in the past.
2007-02-27 00:28:21 · answer #8 · answered by finished 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your great roommates and friends, then love is possible. I would stay and try to find each other again. Kids will accept whatever you do, but it doesn`t sound like it`s dead yet.
2007-02-27 00:22:46 · answer #9 · answered by MISTY 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would leave and find the love that I need. I went through that and decided to leave him after 14 years. I know all about your situation. I have however, left him happily and moved on to another. I however find that it healed the wounds from all those years of abuse and moved on through counselling and good friend support. Hope things work out for you....take care.
2007-02-27 01:46:57 · answer #10 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah if you still great friends, why not, and specially when you think all the consequences of divorce and breaking kids hearts, you don't want to do that, after all it's never easy to start all over again and love is not guaranteed,,,be smart don't ruin you life or kid's life
2007-02-27 00:18:59 · answer #11 · answered by happydial 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋