marriage blues?

Question

hi to all.i am married 4 9 months away from my wife now on bussiness,we hav contact alot,problem is b4 we gt married i knew her 4 2 years and fell deeply in love wit her,she claimed to love me,but about 3months b4 our marrige while we wer fixed she began actin distant,i asked her about it,after a long while,she told ther was this guy she liked n he claimed to love her again,she told him she liked but is fixed to and wishes to mary me,he called her n our wed day to say he still wanted her,she just said she is haooy n he shud leave her alone..he wud keep sendin these msgs via private hidden identity.....she says im t best thin dat ever happend to her n she made a mistake,,,but i cant take it out of my mind and get angry about it till now..wat shud i do...we fight all t tym

they had contact 4 those 3 monyhs b4 our marriage and she kept it from me 4 2 months

she is now actin distant

Answer 1

she's with you... that is a good thing...

however, make the marriage open and allow her to have a relationship with him as well...

Answer 2

well sweety, you had an idea about this whole thing before saying "Yes I do" right? Ok, I know, the problem is that you're not able to forgive and forget about it.

Well, she's with you. I think you should really let go of the past and enjoy the present. True love is worth fighting for, if you love your wife, then be careful to not send her in the arms of another man. The fighting all the time isn't the way to handles issues. If she's with you, then she loves you. You should not let the past, (especially an ugly past) determine the present and future for you both. Everyone has got a past. Even if the past is hunting you, don't let it take hold of you.

Every marriage has a problem of its kind. Just that sometimes two pple aren't able and responsible enough to solve the problems they have created by staying together which is wrong. Marriage is to complete and not to compete with each other. Every marriage has happy and sad moments. that's life!

Learn to judge with your heart first and your head last! and be sure you took the whole package.....for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health till dead do we part! Save your marriage. Always remember, calm seas never make skillful sailors!

The essential thing is not even to conquered but to fight well. Fight for the one you love! that's being a man!

All the best

Answer 3

Let it go my friend, if she is yours, she will be there for you.
If not, so much the better that you found out early on.
Don't fight her about this, it will just drive a wedge between you.
But if you find she is still corresponding with this dude, a word from the wise is sufficient, get out if she does this behind your back.
Don't make a scene, just tell her it has to stop now or you are gone, bye-bye, as simple and politely as you can without getting loud or abrasive.
You can't change her or her personality, so do what is right for the both of you.

Answer 4

Tell her how uncomfortable you feel about the situation. Ask her to change the phone number,email address, etc. or get him to stop trying to contact her. If she agrees, then there should be no problem. I will warn you, however, that many women that have travelling husbands end up cheating because of loneliness. Be sure that you wife has family and friends for emotional support while you are away.

Answer 5

If this man still has a constant way to contact your wife and she has not severed those ties she is doing something wrong. However seems like she is telling you about this for you to know so much so maybe there is some honesty in it. I would do one of two things stop wasting your time on this women whom is not devoting herself 100% to you or hire a person to follow her to prove once and for all that she is or isn't completely over this man. Either way relationships that start out like that are 90% of the time going to end like that.

Answer 6

Well you are going to have to do some undercover spy work!! She has put you in a position where you can't believe her. If she thinks she can have 2 men, she is sadly mistaken. I'm sorry you have to live with this mistrust. Only time, and you staying on your toes, is going to fix this situation!! You may have to let her go unless you are prepared to share her with the other man!! Good Luck. @8-)

Answer 7

I know how you feel it is obvious she hasn't learn to let go of this one because if lady wants nothing to do witch no matter how sincere you are she will tell you off and it will be the end of the conversations nothing to worry about after that but if they are communicating all the time then she is not being honest and still feels a small part of her belong to him when it should only belong to you.

Answer 8

Hi Joey,

You may need counseling and help to get past this and you both also may need marriage counseling. You will need to forgive her and let it go or it will only cause more problems and fighting in the marriage ultimately destrying your marriage and relationship with your wife who obviously loves you and is truley sorry for what she has done. You have to let go of the anger or it will end up making you very bitter and destroying you inside.

http://www.drphil.com

Answer 9

Sorry friend but you need to learn how to spell and then get an anullment..you have been married for less than a year so you can do that and then find a girl who will appreciate you

Answer 10

Talk to her and let her know how you feel....tell her EVERYTHING. Try to reason and come to some knid of understanding that will work for the two of you. That's all you really can do, and hope that it works, because if it doesn't your're only headed down hill from there.

Answer 11

ok, first thing to improve your marriage, is learn how to speak.. communication is extremely important, and i can barely understand what ur saying ..

if im following u, she is wishing she had picked this other man, who she is having a affair with even if its just emotionally and not physically at this point that she is hidding from you..

Time to realize that more then likely ur marriage is over, tell her its u or him, and if she chooses him u know where u stand, and move on.. sucks but theres nothing u can do to convience her to stay she has to convince herself to stay not u..