Obligations to ex wife.?

Question

I pay a healthy amount in monthly child & the ex is always asking for more and leveraging my son's welfare as my responsibility. The deal was that I’d been heavily involved with my son but now she's moved half way across the country and I have minimal involvement with my son (not my choice). I feel that by making me a part time dad my responsibilities are lessened. Plus I know if the situation was reversed she'd ignore my pleas.

Answer 1

do the best yu can.

Answer 2

I can't believe she was allowed to move half way accross the country usually there is a restriction on how far she can move. Just like so many woman she wants a kid and some money. First of all consider moving within 10 minutes of her and take your kid half of the time and pay no child support. If you can't do that then sue her for "allination of affection". Never ever talk to her on the phone . about anything except the boy. However call your child often (twice a week) Just for a few minutes. Email her and keep copies of the email. In the email, request vistitaion, and school reports and medical reports. Note in the emails when she does not produce the requested documents. Do not discuss money with her. make her hire a lawyer and go through the courts. That will cost her big time. She is not getting paid to babysit.

Answer 3

Well kind of look on the bright side of life at least your wife didn't make it where you couldn't see them both I was put on OP and have to pay a lot in support neither can I see the child nor the mother unless i dropped out of school get a second job and a new residence women and the courts can be vicious but who pays the most emotional pain the man and the child we need to change some of our laws women are get away with far to much not every man is a dead beat dad

Answer 4

You have no obligations to your ex wife, but you do have legal and moral obligations to your son. Your responsibilities are not lessened and don't allow her to let you think you are a part time dad; assuming you have joint custody you have every right to see your son and be an active participant in his upbringing, no matter where you live. You didn't mention your son's age, but if he is old enough to be in school, contact the school and make sure you are getting copies of report cards and schedules of activities; you can keep active in his life.

Answer 5

I am not sure where you live but my ex has to notify me through the court if she is going to move my children and it doesn't matter if it is up the street let alone across the country. I then have 60 days to contest the move and I have been told that if she where to want to move out of the town where my child goes to school that I would have an increased chance of taking custudy of my son. Also if she is suppose to allow you visitation then she can not legally keep you from the child and should be responsible for transportation since she removed him from your area.

Answer 6

Have you gone to court and let the judge know that she has moved and all the demands that she has? What ever the court ordered papers say is really all that you must legally do. If she is asking for more and it is not on the papers , then you have the choice of ignoring her. Sometimes ex's will use the child to get more than is really needed to take care of things that are not your responsibility anymore. good luck.

Answer 7

Pay what you HAVE to and let her worry about the rest. I'm sure you get some kind of visitation, take the best care you can of him when he's with you and he'll know you love and care about him. You may also want to get him a cell phone that dials only numbers you program into the phone so he can call you whenever he wants or needs to. You can talk to him when mommy isn't around and find out how things are really going out there. Those firefly phones are great, I think disney has a phone too that works the same way.

Answer 8

You are stuck. It's sad that your son's mother turned out to be this kind of person. You owe the child support even if she throws it to the wind or cuts it up to make paper airplanes!! She just wants your money and you will have to give your son up until he's 18 unless you pay it!! That's your decision now.

Answer 9

first of all its not about her , and its not about you, its about what is in the best interest of your child.. You do not have to send her anything more then the childsupport and whatever other stipulations your divorce papers have for example.. some say that your responsible for daycare, or a portion of it.. or for half medical / dental expenses etc..
You do have to own up to those obligations , but as far as.. her just saying "hey i need an extra 50 this month because im out of money" no u dont have to do that..
But sometimes u have to ask if your son "needs" thats extra 50 dollars.. and would it be the "RIGHT" thing to do for "HIM" not for her.. she can crash and burn for all u care, but for now she is the care taker of your child and if she crashes and burns she takes ur son down with her.. and especially since u dont know whats going on in his life is that a chance u want to take???? its not like if she's falling apart u can just run accrossed town and pick him up to save him.. he's in another state.. and guess what , ur responsiblities arent lessened just because she moved away, ur still his father ur still financially, and morally responsible for that child.. how can u divide your child up like that? if he's physically with me then im responsible.. if hes not then im not? he's still ur son, even if he's in another country.. and he's just as much your responsiblility as he is hers.. only difference is she is taking on the brunt of the physical asspects of it.. where ur taking on the brunt of the financial aspects of it.. and sorry but u have the easier part of the job, most work u have is signing a check and putting it in the mail shes the one that has to do all they day in day out stuff with him.. take care of him when he's sick , run him to and from school or extra curricular activities, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, clean up after him, make sure he does his homework, takes a bath, has clothes, goes shopping for groceries for him goes to all doc appts, dentist appts..school appts.. etc.. all u do is write out a check.. thats it.. ur job takes 5 minutes.. her job takes 24/7 ..

Your biggestttttttttttttttttttt mistake was letting her leave the state with ur child, didnt anyone tell u , u could of made her stay in state, untill ur child was 18?????? She would of had to of had extremely good reasons to leave the state with ur son, because a fathers place in this childs life is just as important as the mothers, and she would of had to of proven to the courts that her reasons were more necessary to ur childs well being, then u were. which is extremely hard to do.. So u cant just put the blame on her that she moved, cause u dropped the ball as well by letting it happen..

BE A MAN AND PUT UR SON FIRST , stop looking at it as the x wife.. Dont let her abuse the fact that she's ur childs mother, but dont just be one of those dads that just does what he "HAS" to and leaves it at that, UR SON DESERVES EVERYTHING.. and u need to stop focusing on ur x wife and start focusing on your SON!

Answer 10

You part time" status as a dad never decreases your legal, moral, and ethical responsibility. You part time status also means she has increased her role to full time status, thus your obligation, financially (and actually, morally so) may increase. This is not a legal question, my sense is that it's emotional-- he's your son and at no point should your feelings about her dictate your obligations, compassion, sensitivity to his needs or sense of what is truly right.

Answer 11

I would say that it is time to go back to court with the best lawyer you can find. I hate divorces and the child is always the one that pays. You ought to sue for joint custody and that way have your child more often. You have him for the summer and she has him for the school year.