Keep Passion Alive in marriage - how?

Question

Married 10 yrs to wonderful man, wonderful father to our 3 children. He says its normal for things to cool down. I disagree. I suprise him with nice meals, always dress nice, Hit on him, initiate bedroom activities, looking somehow to spark that passion we used to have. He says he still finds me beautiful, we have an easy comfortable relationship, we rarely fight, everything is..well as it should be...but I feel that raw passion is missing...how do I relight it? Is it just normal? Is he used to me and even if I lost weight, got a boob job (I have no intention of doing this btw) and some how became his 19 year old bride again, would he feel the same...I know he loves me, but has the new car smell has worn off? - and no, there is no one else for him or me..no cheating happening, so what else can I do.

How can I choose a best answer! thank you all so much. Proof that not everyone on yahoo answers is well...Yahoos ;)

Answer 1

Wow. If someone could answer this on yahooanswers... they'd be rich and a genius. I've been married 3 years to a great guy (much like you described) great husband great father, the only thing that is gone after awhile is that sexy passionate spontaneous need for each other. First off- we're lucky women. If you look @ all the idiots on yahooanswers...then you know we're one of the lucky gals, right? I mean sure the passions worn off a bit but we have faithful loving men at home helping us raise wonderful children. So first off take a deep breath and Thank God for that!
Secondly, have you thought about a weekend away- just the two of you? We're fortunate and our in laws keep our son about once every 3 or 4 months so we can get away for the weekend. We rent a hotel downtown and just enjoy each other ... not just in the bed room but we stimulate our minds with trips to museums movies, etc. Then we come back and have fun.

Also, I'm sure you've tried talking to him, right? Telling him how you feel?

Next have him take a day off work, get a baby sitter and spontaneously have a whole day of making love and laughing and feeding eachother and talking about the good 'ol days. Don't talk about the children- that controls your mind and body daily- make it about you two.

Initiate a date night during the week- hire a trustworthy 15 year old neighbor and have her watch the kiddies while he takes you to dinner and or a movie.

Don't sleep with a television on. You guys will get more alone time together and talking time romantic time if you hit the pillow together every night.

Goodluck. I hope things work out and remember sometimes we're the lucky ones. The grass always seems greener but rarely is.

Answer 2

i think you are doing a good job on attracting him. But a man can get bogged down by lot of things in life. His financial situation, the office problems, worries about future, growing up kids, etc etc. Try to get close to him - not physically, but mentally, - to understand what is worrying him. That will open a big window for you.

I am open to talk more!

x
tom
[e-mail]

Answer 3

deda, your lucky for having a Husband like you do. Passion is how we perceive it, do we want to make passion wild love to the one we love, yes of course we do, but after 10 years and children we tend to forget what we had in the start. My late Husband and I use to make date nights and the excitement leading up to that was one of imagination of what it would be. Passion has nothing per say to do with how much we love our partner, we had the passion at first because it was exciting to us, then we tend to get settled with our life and yes, even at times take granted of each other knowing they will always be there. But your wanting passion, so what you can do is get someone to watch your kids for a few hours, set the night and close to the night leave him a visual message about how your going to please him. It is called building up the excitement. Find out what pleases him the most, that is something after 10 years you probably already know. Remember he does love you and that some men show their love in other ways then passion love making. Count yourself lucky that nowadays you have a good Husband, some would trade passion any day for that. Keep trying until you find what works on him. Don't get discouraged if it takes a few times of this for him to getting excited about the date nights. Best of luck Also you asked if this is normal, yes it is.

Answer 4

Wow how can you beat that answer.