From the pictures that you post of yourselves or the ones I get e mailed How can you doubt youselves? This isn't a come on since I'm a straight woman, I just want to understand why you see something totally different than me when you look in a mirror? Everyone has faults & a past & judging from the picture that's posted of me, I can say that that's what I look like when I get up in the morning & that's no pretty picture but I don't think of myself as having such faults & it seems like the nice looking guys always do. Can you explain it to me so it makes sense? Thanks in advance
2007-02-26 18:52:53 · 12 answers · asked by gitsliveon24 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm not the most handsome guy on the planet - no Adonis me. As for why some gay men might appear to be overly concerned with their appearance - I think perhaps it is borne from a desire to make themselves as appealing as possible; given that it breeds confidence in self (much like a woman and her make up).
2007-02-26 19:52:09 · answer #1 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
When I look in the mirror all I see is me. I've been looking at me all my life so it's nothing new. Growing up with 4 brothers I had it pounded into my head from an early age that I wasn't anything special. I was the only non-jock in the whole bunch. I didn't like team sports, couldn't stand watching a ball game on TV, didn't know an a quarter from an inning, so I was made to feel insecure about it. I was the one who stuttered, had to go to therapy for it, the one who had to have dietary restrictions, school didn't come easy for me, all that crap. I was an awkward kid, shortest in my freshman high school class. By the time I got out of high school I towered over all but one guy. I was a late bloomer but when I bloomed I went into warp speed. In my adult life those insecure feelings are ingrained in me, and I'm basically humble by nature. It's not a matter of confidence or anything like that, and I think I look okay, but looks don't matter to me, well, somewhat it does but not so much that I only associate with the pretty crowd. Been there, done that, don't like it, too shallow. I graviate towards the fringe type people. I talk to the wallflowers, the nerds, the geeks, because it's where I feel comfortable. It's where I find the real people I can relate to.
2007-02-27 00:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Speaking strictly for myself...I've never been someone at whom men or women stop to stare. Unfortunately, society - both gay and straight - has made "rules" to define what is and is not acceptable, especially in appearance. I do not adhere to those rules, not so much out of stubborness or individuality, but more out of genetic default. If I were to attempt to walk into a popular gay nightspot in West Hollywood, I'd either be refused entrance or verbally abused by those who are supposedly my brothers and sisters. While it's true there are bars geared more toward my type and community...even there I fall short of the "ideal" that we are all taught to be. I feel intimidated by guys I find attractive, to the point I question those who actually want to interact with me in one way or another.
One last thing...when your heart is broken and you're disrespected by the one person who you absolutely adore (body and soul), it's not easy to see yourself as anything other than damaged goods and that can break the spirit.
2007-02-26 23:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by behrmark 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question. I have to speak on my behalf only, because I don't know about others. To me staying in a normal shape and eating right is not a fixation or a stress and grooming is normal for me. If I look like s---t, I feel like s---t. I have straight guy friends who take hours to figure out what gel to stick in their hair or what clothes to wear. I don't do that. So I don't at all think it's a "gay" issue. I think it's just guy thing, in that some guys want to look good. You know, a dumpy kind of guy has a lot less chance of even getting in for job interviews. People want to disbelieve this due to "political correctness" but it's really true. We study about business and psychology and there are a lot of interesting facts about men and their appearance and how it correlates with job, promotions and respect. Maybe I'm just rambling, but it's because I haven't brushed my teeth yet. :)
2007-02-26 22:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
the fact is that we right away adult men have not any thought why females are drawn to us in any respect. We comprehend that many females have desire to have babies and willingly settle for our sexual advances to further that objective. We additionally comprehend the charm of anybody in the direction of females by means of fact the female physique is the main magnificent introduction time-venerated, on so, such various stages. yet we additionally be attentive to something else. no remember how soft and loving a guy is with a woman, the suitable act for the guy is the two selfish gratification and an expression of capability. For a guy to permit himself to be ruled, even for some moments, in such an intimate and visceral way, is something that is going previous our organic skill to comprehend. Even something as habitual as a prostate examination is repulsive to us (for this reason the severe fee of more suitable prostate maximum cancers). as a result, from the perspective a right away guy, for a guy to willfully placed up himself to the sexual needs of yet another guy ought to be a approach or the different defective mentally. a minimum of there are rational and historic motives for a woman to attain this (babies, existence-form, protection, and so forth), yet no longer for a guy.
2016-12-18 11:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has their own level of security in themselves. When I know what goes on in my brain, my thinking, my emotions, and I manage to get a great pic of me... It doesn't match how I feel about myself. Sure, intellectually I see that I got a great photo of me and I know that I'm basically a great person, I know that the photo is only skin deep. Somehow the pic is lying. I know my innermost thoughts. I see my face like a hollywood movie set. If you pan around to the back of my face, there is 2x4s holding it up. There is all kinds of crazy mechanical gears and springs...
2007-02-27 06:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your woman
(White Town)
Just tell me what you´ve come to say to me
I`ve been waiting for so long, and here I try
It comes as a surprise that all can see
So cut the crap and tell me that we`re through
Now I know your heart, I know your mind
You don`t even know you`re being unkind
Just use me up and then you walk away
Well you can`t blame me that way
Why did you blame me this way?
And I guess what you say is true
I could never be the right kind of girl for you
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
2007-02-26 19:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by Maestro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all quite obsessed with our appearance than we like to admit.
What people see and how they react to their reflection in a mirror will vary according to: species, sex, age, ethnic group, sexual orientation, mood, eating disorders, what they've been watching on TV, what magazines they read, whether they're married or single, what kind of childhood they had, whether they take part in sports, where they've been shopping – and even what they had for lunch.
Gay men are more likely than straight men to be unhappy with their reflection in the mirror. But lesbians are likely to be more satisfied with their mirror-image than straight women.
2007-02-26 22:10:30 · answer #8 · answered by Kedar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think something about entire societies and religions condemning you and living your life in fear and hiding tends to chip away at your positive self image.
But I have to say, I know a lot of gay guys who are really not all that attractive that think the world of themselves.
Final point: it just sounds like you are a lot less superficial than other people are. Kudos to you :)
2007-02-26 19:11:26 · answer #9 · answered by infrablue03 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tnx for the kind words.mwa
2007-02-26 19:50:35 · answer #10 · answered by (",) JJ (,") 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋