Do you prefer to be needed, or wanted?

Question

Not a trick question...just wondering. Stay off the Wikpedia and out of the textbooks for this one...lol

Answer 1

Interesting question! And I was rather surprised by most answers. For me - definitely wanted! Although it is nice to know that someone needs you, wanting goes above and beyond that, and indicates more security and trust and well being. For example, my child needs me to be around, take care of him. Sure, if I am not around, he'll survive with someone else doing it. But when he is older, and replace the need with want, because we have a good relationship, he enjoys spending time with me, he feels secure etc. , then I know I have done a bloody good job. :-)

Answer 2

Needed

Answer 3

Wanted.

This way you know the person is with you based on sincerity and choice... not insecurity or desperation.

Being needed to some degree is fine, but not to the point where you become some sort of commodity. And if being needed is the only way a person can feel secure about themselves then they're just as insecure as the needy...sort of preying off of the needy person's weaknesses by stealing their pride - as they have none of their own. All in all, a relationships based on pure need is unhealthy and exploitive.

Answer 4

Being wanted is sincere, honest and real. Being 'needed' requires the deliberate construction an environment conducive to this - in order to assure one's place in the scheme of things. Being needed: a mother may feel her children need her - yet, if she is killed in a car accident someone else will step in and replace her. She thinks she's 'essential' - but she is not. Each one of us will die - yet on that same day the sun will rise and set again, and the earth will continue to turn on it's axis. We are all replaceable - and will be replaced; it is an inevitable fact of life, and death. Some people manipulate the environment - and other people - to circumvent this logistical problem. This is done to address deep-seated insecurities in the person doing the manipulating. Manipulation can assume many forms:

- the 'hysterical personality' disordered (high drama types)
- sociopaths (can be domestic abuse perpetrators - but not necessarily).

and everything in-between, male and female alike!

EDIT: HAPPY BULLET (directly below)
You wrote: "Rather than me being a sociopath...". I think you probably have been diagnosed with this, or a similar disorder. I am not trying to be funny right now.

Answer 5

Both...for all the reasons already stated in the numerous posts. Being needed is ok...I'd challenge anyone to say they didn't need someone at some point in their lives.

Answer 6

I would prefer Wanted since I do my best to help out at house work, office work, cooking, non-functioning machine, gardening and helping out stranger's. Then itself the needed will come along your way.

Answer 7

If you are referring to men then I’ll prefer to be wanted because it makes you feel sexy. Needed you are more in the friendship zone. The ideal is to be wanted AND needed by the same person...

Answer 8

p.s. - that means anyone who says needed, or any of the people in the world who would say needed are all sociopaths. Rather than me being a sociopath that is.

Answer 9

wanted. Needed means that they cannot do without me, and that they are using me. Wanted means that they can do without me, but they don't want to, because life is much better with me.

Answer 10

I prefer to be needed, because i feel important. Want is just a want not a necessity.