baby blues?

Question

first time mom for only a week and 3 days im so overwelmed by my son he is great durning the day and most nights but he seems to fuss a lot at night. I love him and all but it just seems like i cry a lot when he cry's. Iv been crying seince I left the hospital with him becuase I felt like I was not giving him the best becuase he didn't take to nurseing. Know I seem to cry becuase I can't seem to figure it out what he needs to the very end when his crying gets loud. It seems like it hurts him to cry that loud and he gets the hiccups and gas when he crys that much and then he crys with the hiccups. I went to my doctors today and was giving a anti depressent so it wont turn into post martum but i sure wish it would take a week or two for the drug to work.

ok this might be a little tmi but the reason why he did not nurse well is because he did not latch on we'll (inverted nipples) and the shells they gave me didnt work and the sheld and had me use in the hospital hurt and he had to suck really hard just to get the pre-milk.

Answer 1

I just answered one of your other questions as i too have a baby that is 10 days old. I cried for a number of days when i came home too - its perfectly normal and great that you saw a Dr. I am scared to death of unexplained crying. So far mostly the things that have gone wrong have been my fault not knowing what he actually wanted - but we are getting there.

I am bottle feeding as well. dont feel bad about the fact that this is the way you are feeding your boy - it is noones business and you do not have to explain yourself to anyone. It was a hard decision for me to make but the right one. You are the only one that can make a right decision for you and your bub. I am nervous every night that i put my new son to bed as well as i seem to cope less well when the unsettled behaviour starts at night. Fortunately hubby is here to go through it all with me.

Good luck and congrats on your bub.

Answer 2

There is some really great advice on here! I have a few things that really helped me.

I went to a lactation specialist. She spent an hour with me and we went through all of my breastfeeding difficulties. My baby and I just needed some help.

Get support. Its okay to ask a friend to come over and watch your baby while you take a nap, or go for a walk. Its okay to take a break! You need to be healthy in order to be the best mom you can be. Ask for help!

When you start to feel frustrated just put the baby down. There were days where I was home alone with my son when I just had to put him in his crib and let him cry. There was nothing i could do to stop the crying, so I just had to take a break from it.

Don't get discouraged. You are not alone in this! motherhood is a hard thing. Join a mommy's group in your area, this way you can talk to other mommies, and you will find that this is a pretty normal reaction to a baby.

Keep your doctor involved. I switched to a family practice doctor, so that I would talk about me and my baby. He was alot more helpful in suggesting things to help my baby's crying, as well as my own.

I spent weeks crying after I came home from the hospital. It is a hard thing you have been asked to do... but guess what it gets easier! and it is so worth it! Good luck!

Answer 3

Encourage your partner to assist, it is vital!!! I had baby blues terrible with my last two children, but I had help from my husband.

You are NOT a failure because you couldn't nurse. Generally, it is not that you can't but the stress and the learning process is hard. Call your local hospital or get in contact with la leche league if you want to nurse. Some hospitals offer group nursiong classes and these are all moms (mostly new) that are nursing and yo can get and give great advice.

It is not easy nursing, but it is worth it. Either way breast or bottle you need to do what works for you and your baby, please do not let others advise you as to what you're doing wrong in their eyes, it is your child and you need to do what is best for the both of you.

Baby blues are very real. Make sure you are sleeping when the baby does. I know it is difficult to do this, but is so important if you have nothing to give back it is impossible for you to have the patience you need during the night.

The baby may be getting so fussy because he feels your tension, sounds crazy, but if you nurse a baby with much anxiety it releases a chemical into your milk and will actually make a baby's tummy upset and he will feel what you are feeling.

Good luck and do not feel bad for asking for help it is really is a necessity and anyone who loves you will be more than willing to assist. If someone offers take them up on it, not like ,most of us women that feel we need to do it all, you and the baby will be the only ones that suffers.

Answer 4

You're OKAY! What you're going through is so normal. Please don't feel alone... Do you sleep w/your new baby? There are a lot of opinions on this, but I don't care. I sleep w/my baby right up against me. It feels more secure to me that way and I think it does for her too. Nursing isn't as easy as it looks, it's takes practice for both you and your baby. If you really want to do it don't give up! Even if you're on an antidepressant, most of them are class C drugs and are okay to take during nursing. It's not too late for you to start doing it, a couple of tips though: pinch your nipple so it's hard before you start... tickle his lips w/it a little so he'll root for it... use one hand on the back of his head to guide him, and w/your other kind of pinch your nipple as you put it in his mouth this will help him get enough in his mouth to make sure he's latched on right and it won't hurt you as much... place him on a pillow on your lap for support. If you don't want him on the bottle then don't do the bottle. He may get hungry for a day or two but if you keep trying you'll both be better for it. May help w/your depression too. You'll figure it all out it's your first time an God knows they don't issue handbooks w/newborns, don't be so hard on yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Answer 5

ok- on the mom part of things-- I breastfed 2 out of 3 of my kids the last one wouldnt take to nursing. I know how hard that is, but there is always the next one. You still can have the closeness with your child as you gaze into his little eyes as you are holding a bottle. I don't know if you have called the pediatrician yet, but that would be my first suggestion. write down all your questions for the pediatrician and go from there. I know it's tough hang in girl-- i made it through-- mine are 16, 14 and 12 now. :)

Answer 6

Being a first time mom is a great reward but can also be very stressing as you seem to worry you are going to do everything wrong. You need to try to relax a little and trust your instincts. The baby can sense your fears and anxiousness and responds to it. As far as treating your baby blues, please keep taking the meds. as post par tum depression is no laughing matter. Back in the day when I had my first [i was only 16yrs.] I suffered with depression and back then they didn't know what they do now so I wasn't treated. I lost most of my memories of my daughters first two years of growing up,all the firsts for my daughter such as first word, rolling over, 1st tooth, 1st step, etc... Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. Babies are a big change to your life as you use to know it, especially your sleeping time. Give the meds. time and be patient and try to enjoy every moment you can with your new precious gift.

Answer 7

First of all congratulations on the new baby. Second, I promise that it will get better in few weeks. If sounds like you already have postpartum depression, and it’s a good thing that you went to the doctor to get the medicine. To help you out with it try talking to your husband about it and letting him know how you feel. When he is home let him sit with the baby for at least 30 minutes while you take a break. Enlist your friends and relatives to help. There is a great article from parents magazine on postpartum depression. http://www.parents.com/parents/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/parents/story/data/1198.xml
http://www.parents.com/parents/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/parents/story/data/1132.xml

as to your baby crying, he probably is colicky. Does he arch his back and pull his legs to his stomach? I guess you are bottle feeding, try changing the bottle that might help. Here are also colicky drops available at Whole Foods, ask the pharmacist at the medicine counter. His fussing at night might also be due to the colic. To help him sleep easier at night try to swaddle him. Good luck to you and be patient, we will outgrow it. Just remember how much you love him.

Answer 8

It is normal to feel overwhelmed as a first time mommy. God, however, will give you the instinct to take care of that precious little baby if you let Him. You will figure things out. My wife and I had some problems figuring our daughter out when she was small. Now when her daughters(she has 18 mo. old twins)give her problems she turns to dad for advice(her mom is deceased). Your parents, especially your mother, can be a major resource as well as other relatives in your family. Use them. ask them to watch the baby when you are overcome. My daughter had that problem. Don't take out your frustration on the baby, Walk away for a moment. Everything will be okay. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 9

Don't let anyone tell you that you are crazy first of all. What you are experiencing is completely normal. I have been like that the first few weeks with all 3 of mine. The hormones are still raging in your body, giving birth is not like flipping a switch, it takes awhile for things to calm down. When I couldn't breast feed everyone made me feel like my son didn't want me, my doctor told me that first and foremost he needs to eat, so feed him. It doesn't matter that it isn't breast milk. It took me over a month to get the hang of my last one. Try laying him down different ways to sleep and see what works best. I had a tummy sleeper, a side sleeper, and a belly sleeper. They are all different. You can try swaddling him in a blanket tightly too, maybe he gets fidgety when he sleeps. My daughter had to on her side with a blanket "log" encircling her. Yay to you for getting help and good luck...

Answer 10

take your medicine....it will help. If it doesn't go back back and get something else. You should have scheduled a two week checkup anyway, so your doctor can evaluate how this medicine is working for you.

It's okay to feel overwhelmed, and it's normal to not know what to do for him sometimes too. Just remember, that babies are pretty intuitive. If you get upset, he'll get upset. If you get to the point to where you're in tears, you need to lay him in his crib, go wash your face, get a drink, calm down, and THEN go tend to him. It does NOT hurt him to cry, I promise. Crying is the ONLY way he has to commuincate right now. Some times they just need to cry, and that's okay too. It won't hurt him at all to cry for a couple minutes while you calm yourself down. When my first did that I would tell myself, that he was upset, cause I was upset. I would sit in my mother's rocking chair and just tell him, it's okay to cry. Once you give yourself permission to let him cry, you'll calm down and he'll calm down too. Sit down, rock him, and tell him it's okay to cry, if you need to cry....then cry. Talk sweet to him, sing to him, and you'll both relax and calm down. If he has gas, you could try those gas drops they're really nice. If he cries when he gets the hiccups, it's probably because he's uncomfortable, try burping him.

You might also want to start getting him on a schedule, and now is the time to do it. Use the day time to play and talk and coo to him. But remember night time is night time. It's not time for playing and talking. After a couple days he'll ease into it too. When he wakes up at night, you should change his diaper(before or after a feeding, which ever is best for you two), make sure he's not too hot or too cold. Feed him, and rock him back to sleep. Leave the lights off...limit stimulation as much as possible at night. Babies tend to get their nights and days mixed up. He'll soon get into the habit of going right back to sleep after a night time feeding. If he's sleeping most of the day time away, you might try waking him after 3 or 4 hours. Don't force him to eat, but he might decide he's hungry when you wake him. This is the time to play and talk and coo at him.

Try to enjoy this time. I know it's hard, but it doesn't last long. One day you'll be walking him to school for the first time, wondering where the time all went. Good luck, and congrats on your new baby.

P.S. Don't feel bad about asking for help. Have a friend come play with baby so you can run to the store for something, or so you can take a shower. You still need a few moments to yourself.

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It's also okay to be upset that you aren't nursing. I know how that feels. I nursed my first for 3 months, and it was wonderful. I had intended to do it for my others as long as possible. Well it turned out, not to be so easy. My second one got thrush and gave it to me. That was a nightmare! I had to stop, it hurt to bad. He and I lasted about 6 weeks at nursing. With my twins, I had to stop at 8 days. I was devastated. My twins have duarte's glacotsemia and couldn't have dairy, including breast milk, until they'd had a certain test, that they couldn't have until they were at least a year old. Turns out now, that they were fine and I could have nursed, but there was no way to know that when they were newborns. I cried a lot about it, because it's something I'd wanted to do for all my kids, and didn't really get too. I think a lot of women are disappointed when it comes to nursing. I try to remind the ones I know that it's a learned process. It doesn't matter how many babies you've had. You and baby have to learn to nurse every time! I try to incourage people to give it two weeks. It took my and my second at least that long to get the hang of it. My twins and I were just getting into the swing of things when I had to stop with them. It's okay to bottle feed. It might not be what you wanted....but as they say, you can't have EVERYTHING you want, ha ha. Your baby will be just fine on formula. The biggest thing he's misses from breast milk are the antibodies. He'll get them growing up anyway. Don't worry, be happy!