My husband left me and our 3 kids about 5 weeks ago but before he left i was thinking he was having an affair with someone at work then he got a txt message from her and i read it before he did and she called him babe when i confronted him he said she sent it to the wrong person it was ment for her boyfriend the next day he lfet now since then he ha been telling me he wants to try and work on our marriage and he never cheated and YES we have been sleeping together he is still my husband but then 2 days ago he confessed after i kept asking that he has been sleeping with her as well and did so before he left but still wants to work on our marriage it was just sex because she has a b/f now my question is i have just found her email address should i email her or not do you thnk he b/f deserves to know if i was to email her what should i say my husband turned up at my place at 12am this morning to try and work things out but now only 6hr later he does not know what he wants???
2007-02-26 18:25:15 · 17 answers · asked by feelingstupid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you cannot work things out with another person involved...same for her and her b/f. yes the b/f needs to know. if you confront her then you'd have to watch what you say or you'll validate all the smack he must have said about you. not like he's calling you his loving wife to her. your husband is not being honest with either of you. he's handlin his biz with a smile on his face. stop sleeping with him! so hes your husband...well he isnt acting like a husband....he stopped being your husband when he voided your committment vows.
2007-02-26 18:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by tryinthis2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could e-mail her. Then again, it could cause more strain on your already failing marriage. Not that I am trying to sound negative, but he did infact cheat!!! Whether it was just sex or not, he was in a commited relationship to you. Marriage vow's and all. If he really wants to be with you, and you with him. You can work it out. If he keeps playing the " I am so confused card", then I would say it's time to move on. DO NOT beg him to come home. He did this to you. Not the other way around. As, far as this other woman, well what goes around comes around. She will in some way pay for what she has done. Maybe you need to tell him it's time to grow up. No more games.....hopefully everything will work out. I wish you the best of luck in this situation...I will say you are a better woman then me. I would not have given him the option to come home!
2007-02-27 02:44:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom is going through a similar situation-her husband of 15 years decided to call, email, and chat with numerous women suddenly. My mom emailed once and it got her nothing but pain.My sister called one of the women and turns out she is married as well(animal, I know). So I say no, her b/f will not be so shattered when he finds out, and as for your husband I really think you should break it off with him. Usually when a man says things like that and goes back again to do the same thing then chances are that he will keep doing it. I mean I don't know your situation but I wouldn't take it after the second "slip up" or "just sex" . Sorry for your situation.
So long for "for better or worse" BS!
2007-03-06 19:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by ~Beauty is Beautiful~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants a harem and he wants the two of you in it.
12:00 AM is a butty call BUTTY BUTTY BUTTY CALL
Cut him off cold (sex wise) and tend to the business of him supporting his 3 children. If you don't pursue this with swiftness he will confuse you and insert self doubt into you as well as that other thang! Make all conversations about the financial future of his now deserted family, and I guarantee that he will know what he wants. Find Legal Aid and find them fast. Or go through this every 4-6 weeks for the rest of your life.
PEACE
2007-03-06 23:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by MissUnderstood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would email her a family photo; you, the kids and your husband. Then call her and ask her if she got your email. Tell her you'll scratch her friggin eyes out if she so much as texts him again. Get a new phone number for him, and monitor the hell out of the cell phone bills.
It will take time to regain trust in him. In the meantime go to counseling as individuals then in a few months go as a couple. He needs to see a counselor big time; lying, cheating and now he wants to work it out at midnight?
He needs to work on himself, figure out WHY he thinks it's okay to cheat, abandon you all, and lie about a text message that you saw with your own eyes. You and your kids deserve better, and if he wants to have a future with you all then he's going to have to do what you ask: go to counseling, spend more time with the kids, cook 2 nights a week, do all the baby bathing, let you sleep in on the weekends...you could ask for him to poop rainbows right now and he should eats skittles until he does.
2007-03-06 10:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is certainly playing a game. He is a liar so don't believe nothing he says. When my husband cheated on my I thought confronting the heffa whom he slept with would make me feel better and you know what it didn't. Just concentrate on you and what you want to do...there is nothing in this world more horrified then what the other woman might tell you. And the fact that he doesn't know what he wants to do only tells you that he is certainly doing too much at one time to make his mind up. Remove yourself from the situation and please PLEASE stop having sex with him. He has to know what he is missing before he can figure out what he wants to do with himself. Whether he comes back or not you will at least begin to start to live without him. Or be better off when he returns...
2007-03-05 17:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by DePressed08 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am and have been in the same situation so here it goes. Just show-up at his work, walk in and sit down in front of her face and watch her freak-out. I did, it felt really good. But, of course it has not solved anything. Of course I have her email address as well and I haven't done anything with it yet! I soon will. My husband knows were I stand cause when I showed up at the office, I confronted them together as well. They have pretty big balls, but mine are bigger...... I'm not afraid of anything, I'm stronger now, after 19 years of marriage, I don't think he wants to play again, but if he does "WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND". PAY BACKS ARE A *****........... Stay in touch with me, I would like to know what you decided. A matter of fact I think I will do mine now.
2007-03-06 12:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a liar and a cheat. Kick him out. Don't take him back. Don't email this girl. She is not the point. There will be many more down the line if you take him back. Just let him go, if he comes back, encourage him to leave by not answering the door. Change your locks. It will hurt, you won't want to do this, but just do it.
2007-03-04 00:02:24 · answer #8 · answered by Tip Top 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, as hard as it is....do not take him back. He will do this again and it will break your heart over and over.
You are too good for him. This really pi--es me off no end. I have been in the same situation as you and even though I was heartbroken, there was no way I would take him back.
My advice to you is "No man is worth it."
I know you have 3 children and I know this is hard but you will start to argue if he stays which is not good for the kids.
If it was me., yes I would write to her and give her a piece of your mind, but remember your husband is just as bad.
2007-02-27 02:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by Aussie Possum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking the wrong question. You shouldn't even be worried about emailing his girlfriend.
What you should be worrying about or doing is getting out of this relationship. Hopefully you don't have any kids with him yet.
The guys obviously is a cheater and would be untrustworthy.
2007-03-05 02:12:16 · answer #10 · answered by forlanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋