Can a man who had an affair and fell in love with his mistress make his marriage work again, or will he be thinking about the mistress all the time?
2007-02-26 18:22:51 · 10 answers · asked by Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are two things we search in one person; adventure and stability. Do these things come together? Hardly.
In your case, it all ends up on your personal interest in staying in that marriage. If you are young, or have children, or have common goals, you with your own visions, etc... or just maybe he had run into some alpha female that has kicked him afterwards and he has flied back to the nest. Some 50% of married people have had affairs, but not all marriages break because of that, and your case is more than one moment of adventure. He might be the type of personality that will stay within that taken away feeling he has been having with the mistress, or a one that will always look to the other side. I may say, in any case he will never fall in love with you (again). Rather sounds there will be longlasting guilt than some marriage refreshment.
If I may interpret your question once more, I would say that you are rather concerned about your marriage happiness than your own happiness. But since You are seeking advice and not Marriage Institution, contemplate your own situation in both cases, and decide what is more important to you yourself. Imagine, once you have a child, you've made it, you are protected by law, and who cares about what he does and where he goes, the family-children is yours... he won't be able to fly around forever, anyway.
How would You be happy? Only you know - you only decide.
2007-02-26 19:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not think so, i think eventually he will leave his wife for the mistress no matter how he feels about the moral issue, or how good he wants to be. as what a man thinks so is he. his thought process is where his heart is going to lead him. this is why so many people can't go back in a marriage once they have been betrayed, as they are afraid of investing any more in something that may not work anyway. if he is thinking about the mistress his heart is not with his wife at all. and the wife just needs to accept that and turn him loose. even if she has to go against her own heart to do it, as it is alot easier to get hurt once than live with someone knowing that he doesn't really have the right kind of love for u. best to say good by once this happens and begin a new life that isn't full of uncertainties.
2007-02-26 21:49:54 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That all depends on how he feels about her~! I think that an affair can also be benificial sometimes too....Sometimes a man doesnt relize what he has or how much he loves his wife until he steps over to the other "grass"~! I believe that a marriage can be saved after an affair...but....both must forgive and forget~! Also, the reason for hving an affair has to be fixed or taken care of.I believe that people male or female have an affair if they are "missing" something in their relashonship~!Good Luck~!~!~!
2007-02-26 18:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know for sure he had a mistress and you are staying in the marriage, then more power to you. he will try to make things happy till he finds another mistress that you don't know about.
No ma'am, if he has someone else on his mind, you could me Merilyn Monroe and he will be looking. Something else is missing in his marriage.
Sorry, I know it might not be what you wanted to hear.
2007-02-26 18:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there was this guy who was married and didn't tell me..so we started to see eachother. he fell in love w/ me...but i let him go cuz i found out he was married. i checked up on him recently from a good source and i heard he's doing really great w/ his wife. really happy now. so...for my answer to you...if a man has another woman in his life...but decides to try and make a marriage work...if that marriage ends up working..then that other person can easily be forgotten.
2007-03-01 02:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by shabambam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
was he really in love??
if so then why would he go back to his wife and deny the love? maybe he'd be in love with his wife if he'd given THAT much effort to what he made a committment to!
2007-02-26 18:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by tryinthis2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it won't work once you've cheated the trust is gone (no matter what anyone tries to cay) and once you cheat on someone you will continue to cheat on the person because no matter what you think you are NOT in love with them people don't cheat on the people they REALLY TRULY love!
2007-02-26 18:26:49 · answer #7 · answered by MelC 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes but honesty is the policy !
Be honest with spouse and yourself!
2007-02-26 18:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he truley loved his wife this would have never happened now would it i think not. in my opion?
2007-02-26 18:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think he will be thinking of her
2007-02-26 18:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by mosrider2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋