My son's dad hurt my baby's feelings while talking on the phone to his gf. My son didn't know about her. The ex said he was her " husband" and he didn't know my son heard him. Later after the call my son told me he heard his dad say "I'm your husband" and he says that dady dumped me. He was so upset he started crying and then he said he wanted us together again. I am so angry that he upset him like that. He wants to call back but that nasty woman is always listening to his conversations and talking in the background about what I say. My son (of course) does not visit and they are out of state anyway and he can't visit here b/c he is on probation. He has not paid child support yet.
I just don't what to do and I hope someone can give me some options on how to deal with this. My son never asked for any of this and he is the one that hurt today. I tried to spare him my pain and I never talked sh!t about his dad in front of him. Please give me good advice.
No haters please!
2007-02-26 18:14:25 · 9 answers · asked by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Man, nothing brings out the mamma bear like somebody messing with our babies!
This guy is an insensitive jerk but unfortunately, he's your son's father. The good news is that he's out of state with little contact!
Just be there for your little guy because chances are this will happen again. Try not to talk bad about dad or the girlfriend in front of him but remember this...kids have a way of making everything their own fault. Reassure your son that this has nothing to do with him.
My daughter asked me once if she did something wrong to make her daddy not love her (He was out of contact with her for ten years!) at that point the gloves were off. I told her that I was sorry that I hadn't done a very good job at picking a dad for her, that her dad was a nice, funny, smart man but that he was very selfish and wasn't able to be a good dad. I let her know that I was so grateful to have her. It was a defining moment in her life. It took all the pressure off her and put the load on him.
Good luck mamma!
2007-03-03 12:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by nailgal2005 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is put your arms around your son and tell him that even though his dad is with someone else, he will always be the dad. Try to put a positive spin on that that. The woman may always be in the background but you can't control that. What you want to do is make sure your son knows that his dad cares for him. Any doubts he has about that are what fuel his unhappiness about the way he thinks YOU are treated. Kids like a mom and dad who are married because they know that means commitment. It makes them feel their family is solid. You son now feels like his dad has a solid relationship but it is elsewhere. It's making him feel insecure. Those are the feelings you need to deal with.
2007-03-06 23:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son is at the age to understand what is going on leave it up to him to make the choice to talk to his father. I was 13 and my brother was 4 or 5 when our parents divorced samn thing kept happening my Dad would hurt my brothers feelings by promising the world and not doing anything. Well eventually she stopped the calls till he was old enough to understand. I was allowed ... if I wanted to talk to him cause I knew. If your child is to young I would stop the calls. It's not a hater thing ...but its not like he's doin much anyhow for him.... It sounds like you are the "nice guy" here stand up to him for your Child. Good Luck this isnt easy I know
2007-03-07 00:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let your lil guy know that no matter what that he is your son and u love him and that one day he will see the truth for his self my son did he's only 6 now so just be strong and show the baby everyday how much you love him .... Good luck honey your headed down a long hard road....
2007-03-07 01:00:36 · answer #4 · answered by GEN-GEN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how old your son is, try talking to him and telling him that mommy and daddy are not together anymore and that daddy has a new wife and that is his step-mother. It may ease the pain a little bit, but notheless, they should never be bad mouthing you in front of the child, that is just wrong on their part.
2007-03-05 11:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very wise in not talking about your child's father in front of him. That will only encourage more pain and sorrow. You didn't say how old your son is. I would just let things work themselves out on there own and answer any questions your son asks of you but do it gently and do not elaborate on them. As he gets older he will draw his own conclusions regarding his father. Good Luck
2007-03-04 18:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by andyt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're doing a good job by not talking bad about his dad no matter how messed up he is, your son will make up his own opinion about him..you need to file for child support asap...I recommend you seek therapy for your son so he can let out his feelings, just continue to be a good mom like you have been and remember, kids can never get enough hugs and kisses..since your son's father is such a loser, than you have to be twice as strong...I have faith that you will..god bless
2007-03-03 17:45:47 · answer #7 · answered by lata 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmm..explain to your son that daddy and mommy now have separate lives because of some things that cant be compromised. its better than having you two quarrel in front of the child. then tell him you'll try your best to be a very good parent to him so he wont feel very lonely. make it clear that you dont want your husband back (nice of you not to destroy his father's image to the child). he might not understand all of this, but its important that you tell him the truth and assure him that his father didnt leave because of him.
2007-02-27 06:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by rinkumi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
id have a talk with your son's dad tell him his son heard what his ex said and he was crying tell him you never want your son hurt any more
2007-03-03 00:49:45 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋