I love my wife but not in love, I love her more as a sister- I am in love with my mistress. My wife wants to go to counseling; I agreed to go cause I felt I owed it to her. What are the chances of me falling back in love with my wife? I am not even sexually attracted to her anymore.............no kids involved
2007-02-26 18:04:28 · 19 answers · asked by Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I doubt it's likely you'll fall back in lust with your wife, but keep in mind that every relationship requires growth. In other words, you could leave your wife and go on to be with your lover and introduce the very same issues into every relationship that involves, well, YOU! You get bored of someone who is there for you? Well, what's to say you won't with the new lover once she is "legit". Right now she is verboten and exciting. Of course that's more of a draw than someone who stays with you day in and out through the good, bad and ugly.
Either you've married the wrong woman all together or you need to decide it's time to grow up and realize that nothing stays the same, not even relationships. That excitement, attraction and adrenaline rush of a new relationship is unsustainable over the long haul, no matter which lady you choose to stay with long term, my friend.
You need to decide if it's more important to you to be with someone whose loyal to your or it's more important for you to have variety throughout your life and stay an unattached man. No wrong answer here, but make a choice. You already sound like you've made up your mind about your wife anyway. I wouldn't make her suffer anymore than she has to.
2007-02-26 18:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by here_nor_there 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love is not an emotion. you can not fall in love with someone. its not a lake, or a hole you trip accidentally and fall into. Oops, I feel in love with this women. Not my fault...
Love is the symptom, the effect, the result of doing loving things for someone. Why do so many men "fall in love" with their secretary? Because they spend all day with her, she does things for him, he for her..they mistake the "feelings" come from this as love. You are feeling passion, and the excitement of a new relationship and mistaking that for love.
You probably stopped doing loving things for your wife, and she you, long before the mistress came into the picture.
Stop seeing the mistress...and even if you dont "feel" the love for your wife, do things for her. Care for her. tell her she is beautiful, disarable, wanted. A women with confidence is more attractive, even if her figure is less perfect. Do the loving things, and the "feelings" of love will return. She in turn should do loving things for you. I do not presume that "the man" is completely at fault here. To often, women willpush their husbands away. You must work at a marriage, always putting each other first. When the world interfers, other people distract...that is when a marriage fails.
2007-02-27 02:47:08 · answer #2 · answered by deda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think if your heart is with your mistress that u are doing your wife a great disservice by even saying u will try. chances of falling back in love with someone are not good and will not work, because your heart and thoughts are with the other woman, so it is best to get a divorce and move on, and not give your wife any false hopes.
2007-02-27 05:52:50 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to your wife to not hurt her any more.Not only are you unhappy with her,but you're in love with someone else.If you know in your heart that it's not going to work with your wife,you should leave her and allow her to find someone that will love her the way you love your mistress.Right now your wife wants to work on the marriage because she doesn't want the marriage to end,but when your in love with someone else,there's nothing that can be done to help it.Even when you go through counseling,do u honestly think you can stop seeing and thinking about the other woman????If your answer to that question is no or I'm not sure...not only will your wife continue to suffer,but you'll feel extremely guilty for hurting someone who's only fault was loving someone who doesn't share the same love.
2007-02-27 02:14:35 · answer #4 · answered by DA_ONE_AND_ONLY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you marry her in the first place? what made you look for someone else? at least no kids are involved...stop seeing the mistress since you are going to give it a try..if you continue to see the mistress, then you aren't giving your relationship a chance. I believe you can fall back in love with her if you really want to and willing to really try and find what is it that was lost in your relationship...that is if you really were in love with her when you married.
2007-02-27 02:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by living_dead_sandra 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rebound rebound rebound. Look man if you have been married for awhile then you know your wife try sprucing things up with HER not the mistress. The mistress is just a way for you to how do I say this create your fantasy it takes a lot of time to know who you are right for. Do not flush that magic that you and your wife had down the drain just yet. Try every angle, reinvent yourselves.
2007-02-27 02:11:14 · answer #6 · answered by Shawna H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that doesn't make sense? if you don't feel like you love her anymore and your in love w/ your in love w/ your mistress then WHY ARE YOU WORKING IT OUT with your wife still? doesn't matter whether or not you feel like you owe it to her. if you truly are in love w/ your mistress n' have no feelings for your wife watsoever and especially have no kids then u would easily leave your wife for your mistress. so i think your not being honest with yourself. i think deep down you truly love your wife or you wouldn't be wasting your time and risking losing your mistress.
2007-03-01 10:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by shabambam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work it out but seems like you need to move on with your life without her. Don't hurt her though. She could be scarred for life if you don't leave her in a gentle way. It is possible but it will take time if you are not in love. I just don't think you can do it with what you are saying. Good Lick to you and your wife.
2007-03-03 01:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by andyt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the truth is life is short, and many times we get into relationships thinking that this person is the one, but things just don't workout and both parties have to go there separate ways. first you have to think to yourself would you like someone taking away years from your life just because there scared or feel guilty and knowing full well that they were in love with someone else.the most kind act you can do is let her have the chance to meet someone that loves her the way you love your mistress. ps don't be selfish. and oh yeah the grass is not always greener on thee other side. trust me i know from experiance....god bless
2007-02-27 02:30:32 · answer #9 · answered by NICKY 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be honest with her (the wife)
also you might leave your wife for the mistress and found out that she wants nothing to do with you
some woman just want to be a mistress
2007-02-27 02:08:37 · answer #10 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋